I got a text from Geilfuss yesterday and he informed me that for the final exam part of his big Shakespeare class, he will have to perform a scene from one of the plays. Now, I'm not sure of the merit of this exercise as a final exam in an English class (acting class - fine). Is the professor gonna penalize bad actors for bad performances on their final grades for this class? The whole notion of the thing baffles me. Anyway, getting back to Geilfuss, I asked what scene he was gonna do. He responded back that it was from Othello. I told him that might be difficult, as I've never seen Geilfuss so much as upset, much less in a jealous rage. He said he was cool with it because he got to call some poor girl in the class a whore repeatedly. I then inquired this of Geilfuss - Can you get one of the Dream Teamers to crawl out of bed to play old Desdemona for you? Because if there's one group that knows whoredom inside and out, it's the Dream Team.
I just saw where Corey Haim was found dead (which is an odd phrase if you think about it, found dead - it sounds like some kid stumbled across a dead body while playing hide-and-go-seek). And I'm not gonna say anything snide about the guy, but if you'd have told me back in the day I'd outlive Corey Haim, I'd have said, "It'll be close. But it's not totally impossible."
I was out at the bar of some Mexican joint last night (99 cent drafts) and struck up a conversation with a guy who is pretty new to the area. His name was, well, it completely escapes me now...maybe Hugh??? Anyway, this guy had just moved here from Florida, but was originally from New York. He had a pretty thick New Yawk accent or whatever. Well, this guy was really lamenting the fact that he's having a really hard time finding a good bar to hang out in. And I'm pretty much an expert on bars, so I was giving him some tips and, blah, blah, blah. This guy then informed me that he felt like folks here in Greensboro have been treating him like an outsider (what with the accent and all). He asked if I'd run into the same problem (I had told him I was not originally from the area myself). And the truth is that no, I never have had a problem with folks here in Greensboro treating me too badly because I'm a yankee or whatever. And I never really have (a few nuts I've worked with over the years notwithstanding...). This guy then asked about bars to meet single ladies (he told me he was 38, so we're about the same age). And I told him a couple to try (McPherson's, and maybe some of the joints down where Lawndale and Battleground kind of come together). He asked if I'd had much luck at any of these places. And I was honest with him. I told him I hadn't been in any of them (and I haven't). He then asked how I met girls/women. And then I told him the key to picking up a lot of women here in Greensboro and anywhere else for that matter is this: Don't try. Maybe it's just me (but I don't think so), but I've found if you just hang out, almost anywhere, and let whatever happens, happen, you'll be approached by plenty of girls/women. And when you strike up a conversation with some girl, you should be able to tell within about 30 seconds (if that) what her intention(s) is/are (unless you're a clueless idiot, then...) This New York guy seemed a little incredulous about what I was telling him. He said, "That's it? You just sit there and wait for them to come to you." I said, "You're close, but what you really do is sit there and wait for them NOT to come to you." He said, "You jerkin' my chain?" I replied, "Dammit! I can't help you. Sorry, there's no way. You're not listening. I try and do something nice for a new guy in town, ..." And as all of you know, who know me at all, I was not jerking the guy's chain, in the least. Poor guy. He'll probably hit one of these bars I mentioned to him Friday, and start accosting the nice women of Greensboro with tales of old New York, promises of Jager shots, and his coarse hands traversing all over them. I should have told him to hang out at Playas on W Market, because the only women he could bother in there are the bartenders (who can take care of themselves), the occasional stripper catching a nip between pole dancing shifts at one of the several titty flop bars within a 5 minute drive, and repulsive skanks who will fuck you on one of the pool tables after 1 shot of Cuervo.
Well, it's that time of year again. The time of year when I get into fascinating and totally pointless conversations with Duke fans. There was a kid out at the wing joint on Battleground recently and he started in on the poor harmless Carolina fans sitting there. And the bartender (a nice guy named Dave) comes over to me and says, "Can you set this guy straight for me. You are so good at it." And Dave is right about that. I am excellent at it. At one juncture the kid made this asinine point, "Did you know that Duke has the highest combined salary in the NBA of any school?" And boy that was a mistake. Because I said, "How does the fact that stupid NBA GM's have overpaid for the likes of Elton Brand, Corey Maggette (who I really like as a player by the way), Mike Dunleavy, and others, reflect positively on Duke?" Well, the kid stopped that line of argument pretty quickly. Then we got into a discussion of Coach K's "strategy" in big games over the years. And I brought up 2 examples for the kid. One, why in the 99 Title game did K have Trajan Langdon handling the ball (he bounced it off his foot for those of you who can't recall) at the end of the game, and the aforementioned Corey Maggette (an awesome 1-on-1 player) on the bench? And two, in the 02 Sweet Sixteen, why the hell didn't K call a timeout when Indiana made that massive run to come from around 17 down to win - it's Mike Davis??? (Note: That was also the infamous game when Matt Christensen chased Bruce Benedict {the ex-MLB catcher, who was reffing the game} into the tunnel of Rupp Arena after the choke job loss by the Dookies, bitching about the officiating). Pure class there. Needless to say, the poor kid quit talking to me and left with half a beer unfinished. Dave and the other Heel fans were very pleased. I do what I can. I never even got the chance to inquire from the kid what year he graduated from Duke and what his major was. He got off pretty easy. For the record, the real Dookies, the ones who actually went there (or had a parent, sibling or child go there), I don't have much of an issue with. Root away all you want (although I have a story about actual Dookies that I have to tell sometime, it's from the ACC/Big 10 Challenge game at the Greensboro Coliseum in December 2002 between TOSU and Duke - unbelievably racist shit coming from the Dookies that night. TOSU lost, but my man Brent Darby went off on K and the boys for like 35. And don't feel too bad for TOSU fans, because a month later they won the National Title against Thug U).
Someone left a comment recently on this blog wondering if Scotty Hopson from Tennessee is related to Dennis Hopson. And no, I don't think he is. Last I heard about Dennis, he was doing some coaching for the Falcons of BGSU.
The Oscars came and went here and I was massively disappointed Up In The Air didn't win. I haven't seen Hurt Locker yet, so it might be great. I have no idea. The one good thing is that Jimmy Cameron did not win for that ridiculous spectacle called Avatar (as I've said before on this blog, I am never gonna see the thing - all the creatures remind me of Jar Jar Binks). It was pretty poetic how Cameron lost Best Director to his ex-wife. Again, I haven't seen Hurt Locker, but I did enjoy Strange Days (which she also directed, although I believe Jimmy Cameron wrote the script for Strange Days himself...). If you've never seen it, check it out. Ralph Fiennes, he's good. And my man Tom Sizemore.
Oh, one last thing here. I got asked again recently about the roots of my deep cynicism about life, etc. And I don't wanna go into it, believe me. But, yes, it's childhood issues. Of course, what else could it be?
Huge hoops games going on here this week. I won't get to post until maybe Saturday again. And I know some of you are looking for picks, you degenerate gamblers. And I can't blame you, because last March, I was on fire.
I threw up when I saw what I'd done
I'm out - TBFH
No comments:
Post a Comment