I got a comment recently on the post I wrote about trivia in San Antonio (at some joint called Charlie Clown's). What happened is that over the course of the 4 Tuesdays I went into the place, I got to know one of the teams in there and ended up playing on their team the other night (we won the game too). And I want to be sure to note that the folks on the team were very cool to let a strange dude from out of town hang out with them (although the fact that I know some trivia answers probably didn't hurt). So, thanks to Chris, Jesse, Chloe, and Shawn (and we were the only team to know what all the letters in UNICEF stand for the other night on the final question). Well, I gave them the address to this blog. And Shawn left a comment somewhat defending the Charlie Clown's as not that bad of a place, as he rightly pointed out that I came into the place 4 times of my own free will. And I gotta say, Shawn is exactly right. I don't know how many posts he's waded through on this blog so far, but it's important for readers of this blog, especially new ones, to remember that you can't take too much of what I say too seriously. The way I describe events that have happened (or kind of happened in some cases) is generally to entertain, so being factually accurate only serves my purpose to a certain degree. Also, the way events happened in my mind vs the way events happened in reality are often at great odds with each other - of course, that's merely a byproduct of my delusional narcissism.
Now onto more delusional narcissism.
I think we're long overdue for another pointless and exciting edition of If I Could Ask Barry. As always, remember that it would probably go something like this:
Barry - Damn, son. Where the hell you been? You haven't popped up in months.
TBFH - You don't wanna know sir. I've been on the run for part of the time, as the ACORN pipe hitters and Israeli Intelligence dudes have made my life a bit of a nightmare.
Barry - Yes! Serves you right for questioning me!
TBFH - I'm learning that sir. You may eventually wear me down and have me bow before you and call you messiah like all the other fake press people.
Barry- That's my goal brother. I'm gonna make you my bitch yet. HA! You got any questions for me today? You had to come out of hiding for some reason.
TBFH - As a matter of fact, I was curious about a couple of things. First, this whole thing with Iran and their nuclear program. I'm wondering if you have even one advisor who has been willing to step out and suggest that you actually deal with this in a real way. I mean, has anyone even mentioned to you the thought of bombing these Iranian nuclear facilities off the face of the Earth?
Barry - Well, you make a valid point on a couple fronts there. I'll concede that. One, my advisers are so insulated from the real world that they have a super naive view of how things really work. Two, most of them are so afraid of Rahm that they probably don't tell me what's really on their mind. And third, remember that my view of the world and our place in it is drastically outside the mainstream of about a century or so of accepted thought. I mean, I'm an appeaser. I know that, to be honest with you. I feel like we're due some comeuppance for our long history of oppressing other peoples. So, secretly I'd be fine with a little payback directed at us and our allies like Israel, because to be frank, I feel like it's been a long time coming.
TBFH - Wow! I can't believe your candor there sir.
Barry - It's something I've been longing to say. I'm glad I got it off my chest finally.
TBFH - The other thing I was curious about is this whole brouhaha over anyone criticizing you being a de facto racist. Do you really think that's accurate? I mean, if someone thinks your socialist medicine debacle is a bad idea, does that automatically make them a racist?
Barry - I think so, yes. I'm certain you're a racist for example. In fact, to be very candid, I think all white people are racists by definition, even if they don't know it or won't admit it to themselves. It's in you blue eyed devil's blood. And you're right about the whole socializing health care thing. I cant' believe more people don't see through what my ultimate goal is on this. It's mystifying that so many are so ignorant. But you seem to get it exactly. And the beauty of it is, my young friend, your opinion is null and void, totally dead on arrival, because I've set it up so that anyone who disagrees with me is labeled a racist and discredited. Genius, huh?
TBFH - That's one way of putting it sir.
Barry - You got anything else today?
TBFH - No, I guess not. I gotta run. There's a guy tailing me around the country who appears to have a raging boner at all times. It's a little off-putting.
Barry - Ha! That! That's my man Joe Biden. I had to give him some assignment to keep him out of my hair. And you're it boy. If he catches you, he's gonna turn you over to his daughter for intense sexual torture. I'll warn you of that kid. Good luck to you. You're gonna need it.
TBFH - Thanks for the heads up sir. I'm out dude.
I ran into the Jacobys last night and we were chatting about this and that for an hour or two at Get Bent Lounge. Anyway, both Luke and Mark were curious why I never blogged about the last Friday I was in town here. There was a Russian Jacoby out that night. And the reason I never blogged about it is because I really didn't think it was appropriate to mock the Russian Jacoby. I mean the guy sat there and lamented the fact he had no woman in his life for a long while. It got a little depressing. Also, he laughed like crazy at every silly thing I said. And I don't think he was exactly getting everything. The Russian Jacoby seemed like a super nice dude overall - he fits right in with the rest of them.
Fantasy Update - my team of criminals currently stands 0-3 on the season. The thing is, they've been pretty competitive each week. If we win a game, I'm gonna be stunned. No one in the league who took the draft seriously (and that is everyone else) should be allowed to ever play fantasy football again if they lose to my merry band of arrested players (and Matt Schaub - he's legit. I had to take one legit QB to make things interesting. Although, I could bench him for Vick at the drop of a hat. I probably will against Andy. But not Geilfuss - I'm gonna pull out all the stops that game).
I was flipping around the TV with the old clunker the other night and came across the Michael Clayton. And I'd seen it before and it's really good. Tilda Swinton is simply brilliant - I have no idea how she does it. And Clooney, he's good. He's a likable guy. If you haven't checked it out yet, it's worth your time.
Also, I read that Patrick Swayze passed away a few weeks ago. And his movies were mostly cheesy crap. But, he was in the Donnie Darko. And Donnie Darko is one of my favorites. I've bored countless people about what the movie really means (and maybe even convinced a few???). I won't bore readers with that now, but if you ever wanna see me get really worked up, ask me about Donnie Darko. If I'm in the mood, I'll go on forever. If I'm not in the mood, I'll just tell you it's mind-blowingly brilliant.
Here's another clue for you all
The walrus was Paul
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