Lots to get to here - but first: I was walking down a hallway. I saw a thin man walking towards me in the hallway. He informed me that he needed some toilet paper for his soiled ass crack. I looked down and noticed that his beige pants were around his ankles. Then I noticed his white briefs were around his ankles. Then I noticed his tiny pinkish erection. I kept walking.
Lots of wild results last weekend in the NFL. I am happy to report that my big NFL bet of the week on the Lions did indeed hit. And I'll be honest, I was a little worried when Matthew Stafford left the game and the mediocre Shaun Hill came on for Detroit. The Lion defense got the job done in stopping that 2 point conversion attempt. That and forcing multiple Bear turnovers, not to mention that goal line stand. Steelers also came through and won outright. I had to bet Pittsburgh because they are so rarely home dogs and I always like to take a team the 1st week after a starting QB is out. Not the 2nd week so much though. Overall, 3 wins (add in GB), 1 loss (Niners embarrassed themselves), and 1 push (Jake Delhomme embarrassed himself, again) on Sunday. Monday was a little disappointing, as I split with the totals bets on those games. I'd bet that over again in Bal/NYJ in a heartbeat. I got the turnovers I was expecting, just not the big TD's that directly or indirectly generally follow from big turnovers.
Speaking of gambling, Dave, Greensboro's best bartender and Glenn Beck flunkie, actually made some dough on Sunday. Dave really struggled back during NBA playoff time because the nights he chose to bet my picks, he was playing 3 and 4 team parlays and taking underdogs on the money line. In other words, he wasn't winning. Well, Saturday night I gave Dave very explicit instructions on how to bet the 5 picks for Sunday Ticket. I said, "Dave, pick a dollar amount. Bet the Lions that amount. Bet each of the other 4 for exactly half that amount. And if you wanna throw a parlay out there and hope I go 5-0, then cool." Well, Dave is a smart guy. He can follow instructions. And the kid was up $47.50. Of course, I reminded him Monday that if the amount he'd picked had been 500 instead of 50, he'd be pocketing a very nice $475.
Survivor update - Geilfuss and I did indeed survive with the Patsies last week, as they crushed Cincinnati. And if the officials had not overturned the TD that Charles Johnson scored at the end of the Lions/Bears tilt, tons of guys would have been sweating out seeing if Jay Cutler could get a score up on the board with about 30 seconds on the clock.Geilfuss informed me that 22 guys got knocked out when the Chiefs beat the Bolts Monday night. Unless it's the end of the season and options are all poor, don't take a road team in Survivor. Also, never get involved with a division game in Survivor - again, unless it's the end of the season and options are bad. Geilfuss & I are still going back and forth via text about this week's Survivor pick. We haven't totally made up our mind. But, I will tell everyone this: if you're considering any other teams than GB or SD (and I am considering one other), you are either an idiot or looking at things way out of the mainstream (as I am, although I am undoubtedly an idiot as well).
Still haven't hit a big bet bet in college this season. I'm 0 for 2 on top choices there. But there's a game Saturday at 8 that I really, really love. I'll just say for now that it involves a huge home underdog, one that most moron gamblers wouldn't consider touching. But I will. I might have to convince Brandon for a minute to bet it, but once I do, he will. He's a smart kid. He knows I like home dogs in certain situations. And I have a track record.
Speaking of Barack Hussein Obama, ...oh wait, I wasn't...he sent me an email the other day through his Obama Fucks America Internet scam deal. And he wants money. Barry told me that if I give as little as 5 bucks, some generous donor will match it!!! Yeah!!! Barry didn't say exactly who would match it. But someone will. Some kid somewhere will give 5 bucks of his hard earned allowance money to Barry if I give 5 bucks of my never hard earned paycheck. That's a sweet deal there. Unfortunately, I won't be giving Barry and his Internet lackeys 5 bucks so some poor old Grannie in crotchless grannie panties can match it. The reason is that I don't want Barry to win. In fact, I don't want either party to win. I'm pulling for the Mormons...no wait,...I did that Saturday and the Cougars screwed me...I guess I really am pulling for no one.
I mentioned Dave earlier, and sure enough, there's another movie he can't quit hyping up for later in the month. It's a sequel to Wall Street. Now, I saw Wall Street in the theater in late December 1987 with my girlfriend at that time, Amy Teske (I've written a number of posts over the past 22 months that mention Amy). Anyway, what I remember about Wall Street was that I enjoyed it quite a bit (it's dated now, and when I watched it earlier this year for about 20 minutes, found it silly), but what I really remember about that experience in the theater in late December 1987 is that I had a very hard time paying attention to the movie. Our hormones were raging. You gotta give us a pass there. I was barely 17 & Amy wasn't quite 17. What else could you expect? Really...
Skyscrapers are blinking
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