Geilfuss Accomplishes 17% Of His Goal

I had an interesting text exchange with Geilfuss recently, as last January he noted on his awesome blog that his goal for 2009 was to read 100 books. Now, as all of you are aware, I personally have never read 1 book, so I'm not at all criticizing Geilfuss' level of literacy. But I remembered the goal that Geilfuss set back at the beginning of 2009 and asked him if he'd reached the 100 book plateau. His response, when texting me back after I queried of him exactly how many books he'd managed to read was: 17. Now, that may seem like a failed goal to many folks; but for Geilfuss, it's a raging success. When he even completes 17% of what he hopes to accomplish, you gotta consider it a success. Congratulations Geilfuss!!!

I was out last week one night and happened to be sitting next to a guy who I've seen around town from time to time over the years. His name escapes me, if I ever knew it in the first place. Anyway, this guy is a bit of a philosopher of some sort (I think he has a degree in Woodworking or something from Chapel Hill). We got to talking about life a little bit. And even though this quasi-philosopher guy doesn't know me super well, he said something that I think merits serious consideration. He told me that I seemed brilliant to him in many ways (not sure how, but...), but that in many other ways I was very much a child stuck in some narcissistic fantasy world of my own making. He was basically questioning my whole existence and the priorities I have in life. And I'm not sure I can really dispute anything this quasi-philosopher was saying about me. Because admittedly, I have narcissistic tendencies. And admittedly, what seems so important to normal adults in our society, is pretty irrelevant to me. I mean I've never given any super serious thought to customs like marriage, parenthood, being a good citizen - you know the bedrocks of western civilization for the most part. I finally ended the conversation with this quasi-philosopher by saying "Well, I'm not sure you're wrong about all this. But at least I was paying attention to you. Anytime the talk is about me, I'm interested. When it drifts to others, I start to lose all interest." This quasi-philosopher dude said "That's the problem right there." And he might be right about that.

I got some pretty immediate feedback to the post yesterday concerning State Employees. In fact, last evening I got a text from a sometimes reader of this blog who has also experienced that milieu firsthand. This sometimes reader said that I should tell a few more stories about The Alleged Science Guru. And I never spent too much time working with The Alleged Science Guru (probably because I know nothing about science...), but one particular story did leap to mind. A few years ago, there was some very important work that needed to be done. Without totally boring everyone with the minutiae, basically it involved setting standards for a new Science Project that was taking hold. Now, this is key because once the standards are set for a project, they are supposed to remain constant over the life of the project so the State can accurately see how much progress is being made in various student poplulations on science knowledge/understanding of concepts, etc. Remember that the State employs folks who are supposed experts in the scoring of these projects. They are there to be sure that whatever baselines are set are strictly adhered to over time. This is where The Alleged Science Guru stepped way out of line. The Alleged Science Guru's job is not to set the baselines for a project. Her job is to merely (I don't mean merely in a pejorative way) develop the questions that are on the test, being certain the questions adhere to State Standards. Anyway, the folks who set the baselines for the scoring of these projects are educators from around the State who work in tandem with Scoring Specialists to accomplish this important undertaking. It's a pretty important step in the process. The Alleged Science Guru did not like some of the decisions that the educators from around the State made. She disagreed with many of them from what I understand. And that happens, it's a messy process. You're never gonna agree with all the decisions the local educators make. There are ways to make everything go very smoothly, even if some mistakes are made when the baselines are set (I won't bore anyone with those tactics either). The thing that you can NEVER do is change a decision that the committees of local educators make. It's the most unethical thing I can think of in that whole line of work. Well, our friend, The Alleged Science Guru did just that. She went back after the local educators had gone back to their localities and arbitrarily changed a number of their decisions. A number of folks were aware of this, yet nothing was done. No one was reprimanded. The Alleged Science Guru stayed on and was never called on this egregious breach of ethics. One of the folks who was keenly aware of The Alleged Science Guru's horrendous professional conduct was none other than our great friend Fran. And Fran is not unethical, not at all. She does her best to operate within guidelines of proper professional conduct. I'll say that for her. But, while not unethical, Fran is incompetent and deathly afraid of The Alleged Science Guru's wrath for some reason (that I never did understand). So, what happens as a result of The Alleged Science Guru's unethical shenanigans? Well, no consequence for The Alleged Science Guru - nada. But what about the kids around the State? Screwed. Screwed because of one woman's vanity and complete lack of professional ethics. And while no one will remotely care about this revelation on this ridiculous, pointless, and yes, narcissistic blog, it's still a shame. I'm a terrible, terrible person. I'm fully aware of that. But I never, ever acted in any way that was not completely above board and in line with accepted professional ethics with regards to the projects I worked on. Never. It's also a shame because in my experience, a vast, super vast majority of folks at that workplace tried their best to act within the accepted code of professional conduct. And behavior like The Alleged Science Guru pulled puts a bad light on everyone. At least it might if anyone who reads this cares.

I'm glad I wrote that last paragraph. It's something I've been wanting to get off my chest for a long time.

There doesn't seem to be much news on the political front. But I did see where Harry Reid is in quite a bit of hot water over some comments he made about Barack Hussein Obama. Evidently, Reid said that Barry would have success as a candidate because he was "light skinned" and "doesn't speak with a Negro dialect, unless he wants to...," and that is really something. I'll just say this, if someone like old W or a Republican Senator had made such a comment, that person would be driven out of Washington on a rail. The hypocrisy is breathtaking as always. The only other thing I've taken note of is that Barry's job approval just seems to get worse and worse. As I lamented last month, it's not as much fun to mock old Barry anymore. His disastrous plans are just depressing. I'm trying to pay as little attention to all of it as possible.

Yesterday, I quickly mentioned how in Sunday's Wild Card game in Foxboro that Brady looked more like Joey Harrington than himself. And I stand by that assessment. But I do think some of the credit should go to #52 and the rest of the Ravens D. They got up on the Pats and waited for Brady to try and force things. So, kudos there. I still wonder though if something is going on with Gisele. If not Flacco, maybe she's sneaking around with Mark Sanchez, because Sanchez looked incredibly poised out there on Saturday in the Queen City.

Sometimes you kick

Sometimes you get kicked

A Clueless Cowboy Fan Asks What A Push Means

Real quick post here, as we are less than an hour to football action from Foxboro. I've got a tip for everyone though, take Green Bay this afternoon. I'm looking for a 10 point or more victory. Also, Shayne Graham is a disgrace. A complete disgrace. And Darrelle Revis is the truth.

The other thing quickly that I wanted to mention is that there was a Cowboy fan at the bar last night and he said a couple things that puzzled me greatly during the game. First he claimed that Jason Witten already had a Super Bowl ring. I asked if Witten had stolen it from Jay Novacek, because Witten was 13 the last time Dallas won the Super Bowl. Also, talk turned to gambling, as this Cowboy guy (he is originally from Detroit by the way, he mentioned 8 Mile at least twice) was listening to me and Brandon lament our stupid bet on Philly, and this Cowboy fan from 8 Mile asks this gem, "What's a push?" I kid you not. As I've said on this blog a number of times, the Cowboy fans who aren't from Texas are the most clueless people I've ever dealt with in a sports bar. It would make Tony Dorsett sick to his stomach...

I'm out - TBFH

Geilfuss Deserted On An Island Of Cake

Well, it's a new year, but I'll be damned, Geilfuss is at it the same as always. Today he put up a post about 10 things he would find essential on a deserted island (although to be fair to Geilfuss, he kept calling it a desserted island, and that conjured images of some atoll made of devil's food cake...). Anyway, I won't bore anyone with his choices (as always, if you want to read Geilfuss for yourself, go to http://www.itcouldbekobebryant.blogspot.com/), but at one point Geilffuss was going on about needing a beautiful woman with him on this deserted island, and I wondered this - if there's another person around, isn't the island not technically deserted any longer? The thing is that Geilfuss did not specify which beautiful woman he wanted there. My vote for Geilfuss' beautiful deserted island woman? That skank from Get Bet Lounge who does blow like little kids snort pixie sticks...

Huge Sunday on the gambling front, as I had my best day (money-wise) in quite a few years. As I rode the Buffalo Bills -8, Chicago Bears -3, GB/Arizona under 44&1/2, and the New York Jets -10 to perfection. All huge...

Also, keen readers of this blog might remember that last week I urged a bet in the Outback Bowl on NW + the points. And even though it was dicey, and my man Kafka threw 5 picks, the Cats came back like champions to force overtime and easily cover the 8. I hope everyone made a killing...

Oh, and tonight, take the Trojans. The reason is that they want to be there and I don't see why the Chippewas would possibly be up for this game.

And for anyone wondering what 10 things I might be inclined to take on a deserted island, a la Geilfuss, here you go:

1) Safe

2) Pot

3) Rum

4) Gum

5) Ham

6) Kettle

7) Van

8) Polish Sausage

9) That Girl From Jerusalem

10) Not Geilfuss

Oh, I have been blogging from Playas for the 1st time here (using one of the computers that the degenerates use to place their bets...) and I gotta say, since the smoking ban has taken hold, the place smells even more like vaginal juice, vomit, and semen. I think we all miss the sweet smell of cigarette smoke hovering overhead that masked the debauchery level as well as could be expected.

That's Entertainment

The Fire Crotched Nigerian Terrorist

I saw something on the news the other day about a dude from Nigeria getting on an airplane with explosives in his shorts. I can only assume that the reason he did this was not to spread Christmas cheer. Evidently the incompetent folks at the TSA let this guy wander right onto an airliner full of like 300 folks wearing underwear laced with nitroglycerin. Now, I don't get kinky like that personally, but to each his own, I don't pass judgment...Anyway, I have spent a considerable amount of time going through security at airports in several cities since 9/11 and have found the inconvenience to be beyond nauseating. Some folks will argue that the inconvenience is okay because it ensures our safety in the air. My own feeling has always been that life is full of risks and I'd rather take my chances of being blown up, rather than consistently annoyed by watching these TSA employees cavity search 85 year old crippled women. I realize I'm in the extreme minority on this. But, I gotta say that I feel a little vindicated for my disdain of the TSA as a result of this Nigerian underwear bomb guy. If it wasn't for sheer luck and the dude's stupidity, all the folks on that plane would be dead - well done TSA!!! As far as the psyche of the underwear bomber, I won't speculate, other than to note that I have seen a picture of the undies this Nigerian was sporting and they looked a little flamboyant to me - like something Jason Giambi might wear to break out of a prolonged slump at the plate...

Some folks seem to be blaming old Barry and his minions for this Nigerian underwear bomber deal. And that's silly. I'm gonna defend our awesome leader on this one. I believe old Barry was over in the Hawaiian Islands when this incident on the Delta flight went down. He can't be expected to stop terrorists in this country. What with all the massive failures he's currently enduring, you gotta think checking for Nigerian underwear bombers is way down the list of his priorities. In fact, come to think of it, it's highly possible old Barry enjoys sporting similar skivvies as the Nigerian underwear bomber. That would be something to think about: an underwear lineup involving the Nigerian underwear bomber, Barack Hussein Obama, and Jason Giambi. Maybe they could get that skank Snooki from Jersey Shore to judge which of the three of them has the biggest package...

I got a note on the Faceshit from Jess and she noted she has quit Get Bent Lounge. I'm not exactly sure who is left at this point. No Pat. No Graham. No Jess. And that equals very little reason to go into the joint (no offense to Roland and Jason if they're still working there). I'm guessing Jess got fed up with Fat, err...Big Adam sucking down Miller Lites at a rate of one per every 2 minutes while listening to him rattle on about threesomes with imaginary women, eating Egg McMuffins after a morning workout, and changing his jeans...

I imagine this might be the last post for 2009, so if I don't get a chance to say so, Happy New Year!!! Geilfuss, on his blog, was going on about what he might or might not be up to on New Year's Eve. I'm guessing it will involve inebriation and skanks. Nevertheless, he did mention these bars that offer parties where it's all you can drink for the night. And I've never taken advantage, or I should say been taken advantage of, by one of these deals, but I have been out on New Year's Eve before. And it's not much fun, because folks are out getting hammered who don't make it out too often. Granted, that can be entertaining to a point, but it's generally exasperating watching lightweights get blitzed. You're much better off to get to a private party somewhere that nobody leaves. That way you don't have to get on the road with drunk amateurs. That or stay home, get to bed at a reasonable time, and get up and bet on the Outback Bowl (take NW + the points this Friday).

Speaking of getting blitzed on New Year's Eve - I was out once back in the 90's on New Year's Eve at this bar on S High St, I think it's called Hi Beck Tavern (I have no idea if it's still there). Anyway, I was there with a few folks and we were getting a little hammered (shocking!). There was this blonde there and she kept wanting to dance with me (as many of you know, I really hate dancing). I told her the only way that was gonna happen is if she got the deejay to play Kiss The Dirt. And I'll be damned, but within 15 minutes the song came on and I was stuck. So, I danced, or something approximating dancing. It wasn't so bad, because I was trashed and I do love that song. And I thought I'd share that with everyone.

Well, I took a peek at the Hoarders again last night on the A&E. And there was this woman from Scottsdale on there and she got into a strange debate about throwing out a huge stack of panties that she'd bought but never worn. And I wondered if the Nigerian underwear bomber had ever been to Scottsdale, because I think they might share the same taste in gold lame skivvies...

These passions seem to never end

Amazing Memory Man Walks Into A Bar...

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Mindless Random Christmas Silliness

Geilfuss, on his brilliant blog, mentioned recently that he had been playing online poker where the blinds were .01/.02 cents. I have played a little online poker myself from time to time and didn't know there existed tables with the blinds that low. Well, I was checking out Full Tilt a few minutes ago, and noticed that they do indeed offer such tables for the lowest of the low cheap degenerates out there. In fact, I laid out a dollar myself on one of these tables and have been enjoying how life and death these dudes are about a game where the guy with the biggest bankroll has $4.17. It would make the Jacobys proud.

Some of you may be wondering why I'm spending Christmas afternoon sitting by myself blogging and goofing around with online poker. And the answer is this - I'm passing the time and I don't think the bars have opened yet (it's only 12:30).

I did get a picture text from Andy at about 9:30 this morning that showed Mary going wild when she opened the gift I sent her. I promised last week to keep readers updated on this gift. I can now reveal that I sent Mary a bobblehead, a bobblehead of our fake leader, Barack Hussein Obama. Mary's a fan of old Barry's, and I'm not totally insensitive to everything, so I was nice and sent her a Barry bobblehead. Ho, Ho, Ho!

Brandon left a comment after yesterday's post concerning the fact that Ray Small has been ruled out of the Rose Bowl for violation of team rules. And Ray has been in Coach Tressel's doghouse off and on for his entire career, so it's no great surprise that that this has gone down before what was supposed to be Ray's swan song in college football. One, being without Small will somewhat hurt the Buckeyes chances in Pasadena. And two, whoever gets Ray next year to return kicks for them in the NFL, will have a lethal weapon to spring on coverage teams. Lethal.

Poker Update! I have, in the last half hour, increased my initial bankroll by 17 times. YES! I now have $17.03!!! Geilfuss would be proud. So damn proud. Maybe I should cash out and buy 3 packs of smokes...

One thing to note for all the poker players out there (I'm sure Geilfuss is already well aware of this) is that at these micro blind tables, guys will go all in before the river card on a draw. It's too easy.

Another poker update! I am now up to $31.14!!! 2 idiots just went all in on flush draws and I had a full house before the river card (5's over 3's). Unbelievably stupid.

I also have the old TV on and Bad Santa is being aired, but in a highly edited version. And it's totally pointless to watch without the cursing. Ridiculous.

Okay, even I'm getting bored of this post. Thanks for indulging me as always. To all my faithful readers in Maryland, Ohio, Georgia, Texas, Florida, North Carolina, and wherever else - have a great Christmas day!

Peace - TBFH

Way In The Manger

Another Christmas is quickly approaching here and I still struggle to understand the whole point behind it. I remember getting into a heated debate one time, many years ago, about the whole issue of the Virgin Mary and her ability to breast feed her son in light of the fact that she was inseminated by an angel, as opposed to getting knocked up by Joseph. Maybe a medical expert could weigh in on this, as I find it hard to believe that the Virgin Mary could adequately lactate without being impregnated through the normal means. Anyway, the guy I was having this debate with didn't much appreciate my speculation on this whole thing. In fact, at one point during our contentious conversation, this guy said "You are definitely going to hell." And that might be true, if such a place exists (I have no idea). So, I decided to steer the conversation away from the whole Virgin Mary lactating issue and instead started to engage the guy in a debate over the size of the Virgin Mary's nipples. I was pretty adamant that they were quarter size, as opposed to half dollar size. Needless to say, the guy I was talking to couldn't refute my speculation. Instead he invoked the idea of me going to hell again. I finally said, as I was walking away from this guy, "Well Pastor Clyde, you don't have any more insight about these things than I do. At least I'm willing to go out on a limb here." I should probably note that I was 11 years old at the time...

I went back and read last year's Christmas post on this blog and it's reasonably amusing I guess. But rereading it got me to thinking about Boobie's annual Christmas trivia game at the Ramada. The 1st time we played the game (we won by the way), Beck was out with me and Andy and he came up with an interesting team name. That name was: Aborted Christ. Boobie did not like this team name at all. She asked us to change it, which was fine with me, as I don't go out of my way to offend folks, especially around the Holidays. So, we did indeed acquiesce to Boobie's wishes and called ourselves something like: Santa's Pole Points North (Andy might remember it more clearly). I've never been quite sure why Boobie is so sensitive to possibly offending Christians, as she has reminded me on a regular basis the past 2 and 1/2 years that she's Jewish...And balding, but I'm not sure that one has anything to do with the other.

I saw where Mike Vick has been given the NFL Courage award. And I'm not sure what the criteria could possibly be for such an award. How did Vick display courage by drowning, hanging, and electrocuting helpless dogs? Vick winning this award is way more baffling than Barack Hussein Obama winning the Nobel Peace Pipe deal. It's so bizarre that I can't even think of a silly joke to make about it...

Many shoppers are going to be racing around this afternoon for last minute gift purchases and I have a few gift suggestions for these poor folks: 1) You can't go wrong at the Quickie Mart, as plenty of 40's, ribbed for her pleasure condoms, porno mags, and lottery scratchers are all right there. 2) Liquor store is good too, the only problem is that today is the busiest day of the year at the liquor store. 3) The Sex Toy Shoppe is also an option, as nothing says "Merry Christmas Grandma" more than a nice classy pair of crotchless panties. 4) If you're really desperate, just stop in the nearest grocery store and buy a bunch of whipped cream, wrap it up with a note for your Aunt that says "Smear generously over trim area and let Uncle Stan do work." If these suggestions don't help you, then you're not helpable (if that's even a word???).

Rudolph is probably gearing up right about now to guide Santa's sleigh for the night. I always wondered about Rudolph and that babe Clarice he was trying to nail at the Reindeer Games. Did they ever get together after Rudolph became famous? Or did Rudolph leave her for some Hollywood babe like Jessica Alba? It's something worth thinking about. I mean, what with his glowing red nose and all, you gotta think the ladies would find his potential cunnilingus skill to be irresistible...

I would relay a nice Christmas story from the past, but I don't remember one. So, we're gonna have to leave it at this: Merry Christmas to all. Goodnight now. -TBFH