A Plea From Barry's Gang

Well, I opened the inbox on one of my fake email accounts earlier and I'll be damned, but I got another letter from the barackobama.com freaks. As always, the letter these liars sent me will be in black. My comments & or thoughts & or non-thoughts or whatever will be in blue.

Alex (that's the phony name I used when registering with these losers earlier this summer) -

This fall, there's a lot at stake (Joan Of Arc???).

For 2 years, the Republicans have said "no" over and over again (Duh? No is the only decent thing they could have done under the circumstances, as they've been significantly outnumbered in both houses of Congress.) to legislation that would help Americans (It depends on how you define help, doesn't it? I do like how they don't boast that the legislation DID help. That's pretty telling.)- no to extending unemployment benefits (My understanding of this is that they didn't know how it would be paid for - Democrats don't seem to worry about that too much here the last 3&1/2 years - not that the GOP was much better when they had power in the early part of the 00's.), no to creating jobs (Jobs were created??? When??? Maybe he means jobs were "saved." Yeah, that's it, try that.), no to the Recovery Act (Which has turned out to be a colossal failure, on par with the Edsel, New Coke, and Ben Roethlisberger's ability to stay away from hideous skanks in bathroom stalls.).

But that's not enough - if the Republicans take back Congress (And I have predicted they will.), they've pledged to repeal health insurance reform (I wish this were true, because if I thought there was any chance of them undoing this health care horror, I'd actually register and show up half-ripped to vote straight GOP. The problem is that a vote to repeal the health care deal will never happen in the Senate. I guarantee it. No way in hell. So don't start dreaming that the socialized health care deal will be undone.) and pursue policies that would end Social Security and Medicare as we know them (As many of you already know, I advocate completely doing away with both of these. The problem is that it will never happen. Society has become too dependant on each the last 50 plus years. The only way these social programs will stop is if our government collapses after a new Revolution breaks out. And that's not likely, is it?).

They're convening in Washington DC with Glenn Beck (Dave is getting excited...) and Sarah Palin (Will she be topless?) this weekend. Palin has said that the plan for keeping taxes low for the middle class (I love this line. Who thinks that their taxes are low now? Except for weirdo lefties, I don't meet folks who boast that their taxes are low. What gall.) so they can stimulate the economy (What? This is bizarre. If the taxes are low already, doesn't it stand to reason that the economy would have been stimulated enough by now to end this economic downturn?), while repealing fiscally irresponsible (Loaded word here. And incorrect, I might add.) tax cuts for the wealthiest 2%, is "idiotic (Sarah is dead on here. I don't know anything about this chick, but she's right.) ." And Beck said last week that some of those who are unemployed, "you'd be ashamed to call them Americans (I tend to mock Beck as a clown. He is a clown. But, I'm guessing this quote was selectively taken out of context to rile up the Democrat Party's passive comrades.)."

These are the folks the Republican Party draws its energy and ideas from (I don't think this is accurate. I have never met anyone serious who draws their ideas from Beck or Palin. Except Dave. Dave is inspired by Beck the same way I am inspired by Jenna Jameson). But we have a much better source - you (I laughed out loud when I read this. I'm a terrible source.).

That's why, this weekend, OFA (Not sure what these initials stand for. Overly Fat Ass? Obese Freaks Association??? Oldies Fuck Absurdly??? Ohioans Fuck Anally??? Obama Fucks America??? BINGO!!!) volunteers are going door to door (I will answer the door. I will be naked, hungover, and half-erect, which is exactly what I do when Jehovah's Witness freaks come knocking. Those Jehovah's Witness ladies, they're big fans of mine...) across the country to make sure your voice is heard (I don't want to be heard. I want to be left alone.).

There's an event in Greensboro this Saturday - and I hope you can help us (Not a chance in hell.).

The missive goes on a little longer, but I don't feel like mocking this group any more today.

Tonight, take the Patsies and the Cheese.

I am out.