I saw where William Jefferson Blythe had a big meeting with some midget dictator near North Korea. I'm not exactly sure what the point of it was to be honest. I thought William Jefferson Blythe's "wife..." err..."spouse..." was heading up that kind of diplomacy for old Barry. Maybe the midget dictator near North Korea doesn't like American women with huge asses? Maybe he's not a Sir Mix-a-Lot fan? The midget dictator near North Korea strikes me as more of a Snoop Dogg fan, because as the midget dictator near North Korea was doing his photo op with William Jefferson Blythe yesterday, I think I discerned that he said this (as I've noted before, I have some experience reading lips, as I was briefly deaf during childhood) into our fake ex-leader's ear: Nuthin' but a "G" thang, baby.
I noticed a comment left on this blog recently in response to some lyrics I'd placed at the end of Saturday's post about Joe Biden crashing the beer summit deal. And the comment said: I chased the charms, But I don't want them anymore. And for whoever it was who left the comment (I'm left to speculate as it was posted anonymously), I want to say: you are dead on there.
Another spectacular failure last night at trivia, as we've been playing pretty poorly the past week (at least at the end of games - when it matters most). Anyway, no big deal there, but there was some concern at the game about The Greek Gods (I can never remember their real names). The concern was over the fact that they are driving Keith (the host) crazy. I personally have no idea what goes on between The Greek Gods and Keith, as our team (currently called...oops, I can't say - black ops) sits way far away from everyone else in this private room in the front part of the Turquoise Terrapin (and I never walk up the answer, so I have no interaction with anybody not on our team - which is a good thing, believe me, because I don't play well with others) . But I know all parties involved well enough to speculate a little over this tiff that's developed. And I think the problem is that The Greek Gods are needy, close-talking, trapped in perpetual adolescence annoyances who crave attention. And Keith is too nice to them.
Someone did ask me at a trivia game recently (it was someone at the game where Dave plays with Dick) how I seem to know both lowbrow pop culture trash and highbrow stuff like literature (even though I've never read a book in my life). And I thought for a second and said "You gotta remember, I'm probably the only person alive who watches Judge Mathis while looking at the New Yorker." And that's the truth.
I keep hearing about something called Cash For Flunkers. It's evidently some deal old Barry and his awesome team of socialists came up with to pump money into the economy. And although I don't know all the specifics of the Cash For Flunkers deal, I think it's actually a good idea. I think what they do is have old Barry go door to door and hand out 20 dollar bills for every F that every kid received on his/her last report card. I think it will work because when really stupid kids (ones who fail lots of classes) are flush with cash, they tend to spend it on crystal meth. And crystal meth is awesome. Hell, Michael Douglas' son was just busted with the stuff - and if your stepmother is the woman who played Eustacia Vye (and in this case Michael Douglas' son's stepmother is indeed the woman who played Eustacia Vye), then I say: rock on with your bad self.
Hard hitting preseason action is starting up here soon and I've had a lot of folks question my sanity for wagering on preseason games. And I don't really blame folks for questioning my sanity on this. But if you know the right situations to bet, you can do very well. I'm not gonna give out all my secrets on this. But, I will give this tip - the key is motivation. If you can find a team that for various reasons (the specific reasons are the secrets to doing well) is motivated to try and win one of these pointless games against a team that is completely not motivated to win the same pointless game, then bet. You'll win about 2/3 of the time (which is a high, high % in the gambling world). Two more hints - 1) bet on teams with new head coaches and 2) home teams who haven't sold out their season ticket packages for the year. There are 4 more keys to betting on preseason games, but I'm not telling those (god forbid J is reading this blog).
I got a text from Geilfuss last night and he let me know that they had a seminar at the Gloomy Daze for all the servers. The guy doing the seminar promised the servers that if they follow the tips given that each server could make an extra $10,000 the rest of the year. I texted him back and said: what was the key they told you to making the extra 10 grand? Geilfuss texted back after a minute: offer diners oral sex.
Stay cool
And be somebody's fool this year
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