Rapping At The Bush Of Death

Our beautiful queen from Chicago's south side, one Mrs. Barack Hussein Obama (I never can remember the woman's 1st name), has been catching major heat from mean factions of the press for going on a much needed vacation to help the poor 3rd world peoples of Spain. And I think this cruel criticism is unwarranted and petty. If anything we should be praising Mrs Barack Hussein Obama for her courage in going to a 5 star resort in Europe. As many regular Americans go through the drudgery of a forgettable week at a beach house or some cabin in some mountains this summer, Barry's old lady inspires all of us by jetting overseas and recklessly spending millions of taxpayer dollars to hobnob with Eurotrash bigwigs and their summer skanks. Quit criticizing the broad! Let Mrs Barry have her fun. She did manage to get away from her cuckolded hubby for a week. And I'm not sure you can really put a price on that.

Speaking of summer skanks, they are out and about here in the Gate City most nights. It seems like the trend this summer is for these summer skanks to head out for an evening of drunken carousing sans panties. I wasn't sure why that is. So I asked one last week at the Wing Joint on Battleground. This 20-something skank had an interesting answer when I queried her about the no panties policy that she and so many of her disease spreading friends are employing during this summer of scorching heat. Her answer was, "I wanna be able to show guys my labia piercing without any trouble." I said, "Oh, that clears things up. Thanks. But won't they also be able to see all your genital warts at the same time?"

I got another interesting comment last week about the Bush Of Death. This anonymous commenter mentioned Ron Devoe and this "rap" he used to do. I failed to mention in that post last week that Ron was a huge fan of Run DMC and Beastie Boys. I did mention he was hyper. Well, as a result of the convergence of his hyper nature and his love of rap, Ron often burst into raps in the hallway, lunch room. etc. The one that the commenter mentioned went something like this -

I go to Haiti

They call me sire

What, you don't believe me?

You calling me a liar?

The other one that I remember went something like this -

I was born

Son of Bob

Brother of Rob

Renee's my sister

She's a fat slob

They were both vaguely amusing. That is until you'd heard the kid recite them about 2,000 times over the course of a few months. As far as their accuracy, the 2nd rap was stone cold accurate. I was in a musical (go ahead and laugh...) with Renee Devoe. She was on the chunky side. And I went to Ron's house on a number of occasions & do recall Renee's room being a train wreck. The 1st rap was Ron's go-to whenever he felt the urge to say something and couldn't think of anything else. Alas, this happened often. The best part was when he said the final word - liar. He'd draw it out over a number of seconds for dramatic effect. As for its voracity, Ron's folks were missionaries in Haiti. And maybe someone called him sire when he was there as a young kid. I have no idea. I highly doubted it back in the 80's. And I highly doubt it now. Also, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the rap that I came up with about Ron in retort to Ron's raps about himself. It went exactly like this -

It's Devoe

Not devour

You won't catch Ron

Taking a shower

I think I mentioned in the post last week that the kid smelled like tomato soup.

Which reminds me, another stupid rap I came up with concerned another hyper classmate of mine at Bush Of Death, one Eric Dill. Now, Eric was a sweet kid at heart. He was innocent and meant well, but he was just super hyper. The phrase that he said over and over and over, sometimes hundreds of times in a day was - I kill you! That was the best the kid could come up with. Well, Eric had a younger sister named Joyce. Of course I never called her Joyce, I called her Jill. Jill Dill. My humor was as juvenile then as it is now, obviously. Here's the exact rap I came up with for Eric -

First name Eric

Last name Dill

Don't use rubbers

Cause Joyce is on the pill

See, juvenile. Right???

As far as the infamous rap that Todd Myers and I performed in Bible class about one of Paul's mission trips, if you wanna read about that, go back to a post from May 2009 called Dave Still Plays With Dick On A Weekly Basis. It's the post that old Mrs Rummer took umbrage over. And I'm guessing old Mrs Rummer hasn't been looking in on this blog recently. Because if she had been, she'd be taking super umbrage. Extreme umbrage.

I caught Casablanca again the other night. Then Notorious. And Claude Rains, he is good. He's really good.

It's time to stop. - TBFH