I'm very concerned over what I've been seeing lately, that's why I buy gold every chance I get. I even like the feel of gold.
The Faceshit has struck again, as it inevitably does. This time Geilfuss shared a link on his Faceshit wall that went to some online Baltimore e-zine where there was an article written by someone named John Geilfuss. Now, being that Geilfuss's first name is John and Geilfuss's last name is Geilfuss, one could assume that Geilfuss wrote the e-zine article that he linked from his Faceshit page. I have no idea. I did look at the article. Well, I looked at some of the article. I skimmed the article. It was all about how bored and poor hippies throw these potluck dinners around the Charm City where they eat shitty hippie food and watch homemade porn projected onto huge brick walls. At least that's what I got out of it. There were many disturbing photos that accompanied the article that featured topless hippies eating soy-based crappy foods while images of intense hippie fucking played in the background (or foreground, or somewhere). If the author of this piece of hometown journalism is indeed the Geilfuss we all know and mostly tolerate, then I gotta congratulate the kid. What an assignment for his first published bit of writing. I gotta think on the heels of covering a hippie/porn potluck extravaganza, Geilfuss's next assignment has to be the school board. Or the police beat. Or maybe an article examining what happens to hobos' shoes when they lose them while running down Charles Street chasing that elusive free 40...
As I mentioned above, I'm becoming increasingly concerned over what I'm seeing these days, that's why I buy gold every chance I get. Hell, I even like the feel of gold.
I was over in Durham recently, toiling away at yet another fake job, when I happened to wander into a room adjacent to the one where I was fake working. In this adjacent room were about a dozen folks taking calls. Only, I never saw any of them on the phone. The room was coined the Call Center for some reason. I asked around about why it was called the Call Center and yet no one was taking any actual calls. No one had a good explanation for that. Eventually I decided that this room should be called the No Call Center. There was one young woman sitting in the No Call Center who perplexed me quite a bit. She was a mousey looking chick who was horrified to make eye contact with another human being. You say, "but TBFH, it's Durham, that describes 97% of the girls over there. What's the big deal?" And you'd be right about that. Only in this chick's case, I happened to get to know a little about her. Not from speaking to her, of course. Girls like this mousey freak would never talk to me. Instead I got to know a little about her from overhearing her talk about being a vegan to her fellow No Call Center buddies (I was doing some fake filing in a fake corner of their fake workspace at the time). At one point this mousey looking vegan informed everyone that she can't eat anything with lard in it. I don't know what tasty foods she can't eat that are made with lard. Lardburgers? Lard steaks? Lard tacos? Lard stir-fry? Whatever. But I felt bad for this lonely gal at this point. I felt so bad that I started to call her Lard to my fake coworkers in the fake office where we were fake working. One of my coworkers, a kid I mentioned recently on this asinine blog named Ryan, took some offense at my referring to Lard as Lard. He felt it was a little harsh. The only thing about that is, soon Ryan was calling her Lard too. We'd ask ourselves questions like, "Do you think Lard is having a good day today?" Or "Did you see Lard in the hallway? Does she look ashen yet again?" Things like that. Well, soon our fake time in the fake job was coming to a real end, and Ryan decided to serenade Lard using some application on his IPhone called Songify. Here's how Songify works if you've never seen it: you say a word or short phrase into the Iphone and in a few seconds a song comes out of it featuring whatever you uttered into it when you uttered whatever you uttered at the time of uttering. Well, Ryan just uttered one word into the old Songify application. That word was Lard. Then he played back the song version for me and other coworkers. It went something like this - funky house type music for a few seconds then the word Lard repeated over and over in the most hypnotic beat known to man. I encouraged Ryan to walk over to the No Call Center and play the little ditty called Lard for Lard. But he wouldn't do it. He didn't have the stones. It ruined my damn day. I told him as much too. Lllaaarrrddd.....Lllaaaarrrd...Laaarrrruddd...
Did I mention that I'm really concerned over what I'm seeing lately and that I've been buying gold? I even like the feel of the shit.
Brandon & I walked into Sloppys recently. We stood near the bar for a few minutes without being served. It was a Saturday night about 7 and the entire staff had called off for some reason (probably because the place does shitty business and the staff doesn't make any dough). Anyway, the Indian owner of the joint was running around trying to tend bar for the 7 or 8 barflies assembled. Maybe the kid didn't notice Brandon & me. I have no idea. Well, while we were standing there not being served, we glanced around at the assembled drunks. Creepy Gay Larry, Moose, bald-headed Scott, and Michigan Molly were all there. Brandon said, "Do you wanna just take off?" I said, "Yes, I do." Then we walked right out of the place.
I have so many concerns right now over what I'm seeing that I've been buying gold as fast as I can get my hands on it. I even like the feel of gold.
I've been watching this show on the Food Network featuring America's worst cooks. It airs Sunday at 9 I think. There's this Jewish woman on there who is like 63 and can't boil water to save her life. I'm not certain about this, but she bears a strong resemblance to an old colleague of mine from my days working in downtown Baltimore in that building across from 1st Mariner. Maybe it is my good friend and the ultra-incompetent Fran. I forget what she looks like exactly (it's been over 29 months since I've seen Fran), so I may be mistaken. But I don't think so. The reason I think it may be Fran that's featured on this worst cook program is that Fran is notorious for not having a clue how to do anything. I mean besides bitching about the service at a restaurant. Fran is golden there.
Speaking of Fran, I have it on good authority that she's incredibly concerned over what has been happening recently. As a result, she's been buying the shit out of gold. I hear that Fran even likes the feel of gold. She touches her gold longingly.
I saw where they gave out the Oscars recently. I didn't get a chance to watch it myself. I was a little disappointed that the chick who had the Joker's baby didn't win for Best Actress. I'm a big fan of the girl.
