Someone started to fill me in on a Supreme Court decision yesterday involving that whole socialized medicine deal that I've been railing against for 3 years now. I'd quit paying attention to it over the past year to be honest. Hell, I've tried my best to quit paying attention to anything in the news the past year or so, and succeeding I might add. Succeeding swimmingly. Anyway, from what I could gather from the information gathering chat I had about this Supreme Court decision, it appears that the fine folks on the court like socialized medicine enough to have upheld the deal. It also appears the fine folks on the court like to call a spade a spade as well. Instead of calling the forcing of people into purchasing the federal health scam an individual mandate, the court is making Barry and his boys label it what it is - a tax of some sort or other. Which is nice I guess. I mean it's more linguistically and factually accurate to call it a tax. But we still have to pay the tax or risk whatever punishment Barry's henchmen deem appropriate for not paying the tax. I've mentioned before on this retarded blog that I'm not joining in. Even at risk of execution, I'm not joining in. I'll be happy to sit in a federal prison for however long to prove the ambivalence of my conviction on this. Not that anyone cares. Nor should they. Over the past couple of years, since this socialized medicine deal was rammed through the Senate using payoffs that amount to de facto bribery, the popularity of the bill has plummeted like Adam Sandler's movie career. It seems the only folks who want it are the folks who won't ever possibly be subjected to joining in. Isn't that ironic? Or telling? Or laughably hypocritical? I would be interested to see how quickly many of the upper-middle class liberals in this country abandon their cushy health insurance to get involved in the impending catastrophe that will be these "exchanges," or whatever euphemism Barry's boys are using for the groups of poor losers that folks will be forced to pay into. My guess is zero. I have a hunch. For instance, will Barry, his lovely manly looking wife, and their little pup Bo give up their health plan to show solidarity with the millions of Americans who will have to live out the strings of their sad little meaningless lives waiting 7 or 8 years to be approved to have an Indian doctor named Patel shove his index finger up their poop chutes? I highly doubt it. It seems a little implausible. As for me, as I've mentioned before on this pointless waste of a blog, I don't have health insurance. I've been an utter and complete failure in life and don't deserve it. If I get deathly ill, the only fair way to proceed is to let me bear the fruits of my non-achievement, and die with a little dignity. Just a little. Maybe. I'd much prefer that to sitting around a bombed-out looking clinic, leafing through a sticky issue of Mother Jones, chatting disinterestedly with Mexicans about the merits of ribbed condoms, and waiting hours on end to be told that bureaucrats in DC haven't got around to deciding if I'm approved for a prescription of cough syrup.
I was chatting with a gentleman who shows up to Wing Joint from time to time. A man named Bill. Anyway, this cat is a huge fan of Tiger Woods. Huge. He loves him some Tiger Woods. In fact this fella loves Tiger Woods so much that he informed me the Sunday before the US Open began in San Francisco that he'd emailed Tiger Woods about how to play Olympic Club. I'll be honest, I didn't pay any attention to what this dude's advice was for Woods. He explained it at length though. Anyway, fast forward to the following Friday evening. Woods was playing really well. Every time he'd execute a shot, my comment was "I bet Woods just looked at that email Bill sent him for a tip." I probably muttered that a dozen times in 4 hours. To think that a barfly from Wing Joint in little old Greensboro could have that kind of impact on a 14 time major champion is awe-inspiring (and I'm always inspired by awe). I was on cloud nine. I bet Bill was really on cloud nine because Woods was obviously reading Bill's email for help before each crucial shot. Then Saturday came. Woods shit the fucking bed. He shot a 75. Every time Woods hit an an errant shot or came up woefully short on a putt, I'd say, "Damn. Woods must have left Bill's email in his other pair of pants." Or something along those lines. I don't know exactly how many pairs of pants Toger Woods owns. But probably 2. That would be plenty for chasing Perkins skanks all over the greater Orlando area. I haven't spoken to Bill since Woods' weekend meltdown in San Francisco. But I'm guessing he's gonna write Woods another email before the Open Championship here in a few weeks. I just hope this time Woods doesn't lose Bill's email in one of the back pockets of one of his 2 pairs of pants. There's a chance Woods won't though. I don't think they have any disgusting Perkins Restaurants across the old pond.
I've been watching Euro 2012 as closely as I can the past several weeks. Although granted, I've missed a majority of the games due to work (and ESPN has not rerun them at night for those of us who have to be at work in the afternoons, instead opting to show unwatchable college baseball and air endless speculation on Tim Tebow's future as a Jet...). Anyway, the final is coming up Sunday and I'm very torn over which nation to root for. We've got fascists vs fascists in the final - hard to pull for either side. But in a battle of fascist loving countries I think it's important to do the proper due diligence and go with someone. So, in that light we need to compare Mussolini and Franco. And when you think about it scientifically, it's easy. As bad as Franco was, a brutish petty killer if there ever was one - at least there was a certain flair in his brutish killing ways. Mussolini on the other hand was little more than an opportunist at the right place at the right time. And Mussolini was creepy. He would fit right in at Eric Holder's Justice Department. No doubt there. So the team to pull for is Espana. It also doesn't hurt that Italia is still owed for that disgraceful provocation of Zidane in the 2006 World Cup Final. That and the Spaniards have Cesc Fabregas on their side.
It's brutally hot here in the Gate City today and will get hotter tomorrow and Sunday. And the local news is at it again with their indispensable tips on how to cope with extreme weather. Just yesterday on Fox 8, Neill McNeill (Sunday School teacher extraordinaire and night anchor) informed viewers that if you start to feel too hot there are 2 vital steps that you need to take. They were 1) go inside and 2) drink plenty of water. Thanks, Neill. What would we do without you???
I was out at Wing Joint last week and Tess raced up to me and breathlessly asked, "Otters, when are you ever going to blog again?" I replied, "When I get a chance." And now Tess, I've had a chance. There you go.
Topaz
