Pig Jowls At The Food Slug

I was flipping around the old TV and saw that our friend Barry's popularity is at a staggeringly low 47% in a recent poll done by something called Gallup (maybe Gallup is involved in the carriage ride business?). And that is the lowest popularity number EVER for a president not even 11 months into his 1st term. How did this happen? Well, I would like to take some of the credit, but obviously that's ridiculous. This silly blog couldn't possibly have any real effect on public opinion (although, to be fair, I was way ahead of the curve in warning people about old Barry and his horrific agenda - just go back through the archives of this blog for evidence, I've never gone back and deleted one post, it's all there). I actually have been agreeing with a few things Barry's been proposing lately (more troops in Afghanistan, tax cuts for small business), but the overwhelming truth has become clearer and clearer - folks were duped last year by the Obama/messiah silliness and now they've woken up to the reality of what a catastrophe the man is, at least as a leader. I feel kinda bad for the guy. He's in way over his head and keeps lying to make things seem not as bad as they are, and it's hard to get too mad at his lying constantly - I don't know what his other options are. I mentioned yesterday that maybe old Barry should concentrate on exploring his homosexual tendencies (if he really has any, I have no idea) as a means of trying to slow down all the stuff he's trying to pull off that isn't going to work and in fact will, like the policies passed all year, just make things worse. The guy's in a bad spot. And it's not as much fun to mock him now, not that I'll quit of course. It's just not the same.

More The Tiger news! It seems that The Tiger, like many famous and not so famous folks, may have participated in some kind of videotaping of his extra-marital liaisons. It seems that something called Playgirl is trying to authenticate alleged images of The Tiger in an engorged state (if you know what I mean...). I'm sure Jesper Parnevik's nanny won't be too pleased with this development. Also, it appears The Tiger texted one of his hos disparaging remarks about his wife. And when those texts are made public, I promise to comment on a few of the more damning ones. It should be fun! This story is awesome. And people questioned me for years about why I had a gut feeling that The Tiger was a horrible person. One likely explanation is that I am a horrible person (as I've noted time after time on this blog the past year or so), and I recognized something in The Tiger's countenance, demeanor, or whatever that almost no one else could see. I have no idea. All I can tell you is that the truth is coming out now and at least one person saw it coming all along. Granted, I had no idea The Tiger's real character would be revealed at the age of 33. I figured it would be later in life (like OJ). But here it is...

I stumbled into the Food Slug recently to buy some food. And the check-out clerk was so completely unqualified to run a cash register, that as I stood in the line in bored terror, watching this woman try to pay for her pig jowls and be on her way, I said to no one in particular, "You know, pork is the other white meat."

I checked the Faceshit again and received an official invitation to the Christmas party/caroling deal the Jacobys are throwing Saturday night (I mentioned this event recently). And I'm not gonna be able to make it, which is probably best for all the other attendees. The reason being is that me showing up at a religious themed Christmas Party is about like a fully erect Joe Biden showing up at an old folk's home - it's gonna end badly and messy. Very messy - in a sticky way...

There seems to be a lot of hype surrounding this new Jimmy Cameron movie. It's called Avatar. I have no intention of ever seeing it. From the commercials and the trailer I've seen, all the characters look like distant relatives of Jar Jar Binks. Now, if Mace Windu were involved in some way, I might reconsider. But I'm not sitting through 2 or more hours of Jar Jar Binks' relatives walking around saying things like, "Missa horny." Or, "Missa no where missa penis be." Stuff like that.

There's also a new movie out with the girl from Jerusalem. And the girl from Jerusalem has some experience acting with Jar Jar Binks in Star Whores, Episode 1: The Fainting Man Ass.
That experience should have prepared the girl from Jerusalem for almost anything in her career. Because Star Whores, Episode 1: The Fainting Man Ass, is unwatchably silly.

I've been chastised recently by a few of the degenerates at Playas for making interesting comments about NFL QB's during Sunday Ticket action. Just for the record, here are the new nicknames I have coined for some of the NFL's signal callers:

Josh Freeman - The black Steve Young

Tom Brady- The white Jason Campbell

Jason Campbell - The black Tom Brady

Ryan Fitzpatrick - The white Akili Smith

Mark Sanchez - The Mexican Joe Montana

Bruce Gradkowski - One of the 10 best Polish Quarterbacks not named Ron Jaworski

Philip Rivers- Phil

Matt Hasselback - The Man With the Most Testosterone in the NFL (actually, this one I've been using for years)

Matthew Stafford - The Petulant Preppy

Brady Quinn - Damn, He's Terrible

Tony Romo -Tony Fucking Romo (also been using this one for years)

Peyton Manning - God

I've been noticing lots of Christmas decorations being put up around Greensboro here the past week or so. And there are these giant blow-up likenesses of Rudolph and Santa that I've noticed in a number of yards. I was driving past a guy out in his yard putting up a giant blow-up Santa the other day and I stopped, rolled down the window, and asked the dude, "What use do you get from that giant blow-up Santa the rest of the year?" The dude says "Oh, my mother-in-law uses it as a sexual aide." I asked, "How?" He replied, "She likes to grind into the tip of his nose until climax." I said, "Oh, that makes sense. Thanks."

I don't dream about anyone

Except myself