A touch of winter weather has come to the Gate City this morning - about 1/10th an inch of ice to be precise. The local TV stations have been treating this almost non-weather event as if Armageddon has struck the city. I spent about an hour watching News 2's coverage this morning and the reporting amounted to little more than pushing panic on the citizenry. One unintentionally funny segment was all about the various types of ice melt available and the best way to use the ice melt. I wonder how many people needed to be told to open the bag of ice melt and spread it liberally over the sidewalk and driveway? The morning hosts also kept imploring would be drivers to stay in the house if they could, but if folks have to get out to go to work they should be careful! Excellent advice. Really, I should be careful on icy roads? Who knew? My favorite tip that WFMY kept shoving down viewers' throats is to be sure to bundle up in the cold. I was gonna wear shorts until this bit of advice was passed along. Now, being that it is about 28 degrees outside, I'm gonna go ahead and put on a sweater and might even don some gloves to keep warm! Thanks News 2! Thanks for continuously insulting my intelligence every time there's a hint of winter weather in the winter.
College hoops has fired up and that means one thing here in Greensboro - the fake Duke fans come out of the woodwork like cockroaches in a Chinese restaurant kitchen. They're everywhere, scurrying aimlessly and waiting to be squashed. The jersey of choice this season seems to be a Scheyer jersey. I've seen half a dozen of them around the sports bars the last month. I engaged one on these Scheyer jersey wearers in a bit of a conversation a few weeks ago during the Devils victory of Tom Izzo. Within 3 minutes I had gotten the standard information I'm always looking for from the fake Dukies. Namely, that the kid didn't go to Duke at all and had no reason for pulling for Coach K other than wanting to be associated with a winner. I tried to delve into the nature of this kid's fragile psyche. After a few more minutes of intense questioning by me, I gleaned that he had the typical fake Duke fan problem - a deep inferiority complex that gets masked for a few hours about 35 days of the year. I'll give this Scheyer loving kid credit for one thing at least - he didn't disagree with my assessment of his latent psychological motives for his irrational Duke fetish. Dave was nearby as I was conversing with the kid (Dave is a rabid Tar Heel fan) and he kept telling me to lay off the kid. Dave even said at one point, "Don't be such an asshole." And Dave might be right there. I do get a perverse kick out of ridiculing fake Duke fans for some reason. It's probably a reflection of my own profoundly sociopathic brain. At least it could be. Why else would I get such pleasure out of tearing down someone else?
As for Scheyer, even though most fake Duke fans are clueless about it, he almost found a home in LA with the Clippers. Unfortunately he was waived back in October. My guess is that he'll find a home playing professionally in Israel at some point - Scheyer is one of the best Jewish ballers to come out of Chicago in the last 5 years, certainly in the top 10.
I was chatting with my buddy Phil during the pointless trivia competition Tuesday evening (we came in 2nd yet again - sickening) and he asked me about the new division names for the expanded Big 10 (there are now 12 members of the Big 10 - if that makes sense). And the names are stupid. Really stupid. They are Leaders and Legends. I have no idea how much money was spent to come up with these names, but whatever the cost, it was too much. Leaders and Legends sounds pretentious. I expressed my misgivings about the Big 10 adding Nebraska some months ago. Of all the schools to add as a 12th member, the Corn would be way down my list. Nebraska is in the Legends division with other legendary programs like Minnesota, NW, Iowa, and Sparty. The whole thing is silly. I am looking forward to next October 8th (if I'm somehow still alive), because on that day TOSU will invade Lincoln to battle the Corn. I can tell you right now to take the Buckeyes by up to 6 points in that contest.
Speaking of TOSU, much is being made in the media about the Buckeyes' ignorance of the state of Arkansas (their opponent in the Sugar Bowl). None of them knew that our impeached ex-fake leader, one William Jefferson Blythe, hails from the Pig Suey state. None of them knew that WalMart was founded there either. One kid did know that John Daly was an Arkansan (something I'd be hard pressed to admit myself). That's about it. If I were a resident of the Hog state, I wouldn't be too offended by TOSU players' complete lack of knowledge about the state. Why would they know anything about it? What's there to know? Nothing of importance. Other than 40 minutes of hell. Everyone should know 40 minutes of hell. My man Corey Beck. And of course, Scotty Thurman. That kid will always hold a place dear in my black as coal heart. Why? Because Thurman hit the game winner in the 94 title game to beat Coach K, Grant Hill, Chris Collins, and other terrible human beings involved with the Duke basketball program at the time.
I was out Scams Brassfield Sunday for the Ticket. And for the first time in memory, there were more Raiders' fans out than fans of any other team. It was a pretty stunning development, considering Pittsburgh, Washington, and Cleveland were playing at the time. I would have felt kind of bad for the Raider fans after that last minute, season killing loss to the Jags. Except for the fact that they are so clueless about what is actually happening during an NFL game. One girl in a Rice jersey wanted a review on virtually every play of the 4th quarter. Another Hispanic Raider fan with a chubby blonde girlfriend kept screaming for the Raiders to blitz Dave Garrard - a ploy sure to result in long pass plays. It was pretty funny to observe. After Oakland lost by 7, the 5 or 6 Raiders' fans in the bar filed out quietly - left to dream of playoff glory next year. Alas, ...
Brandon's friend Mandy was out with us Sunday at Scams for the football action. She spent some of the afternoon studying for a Sociology exam on her computer. I never took a Sociology class during my pitiful college "career" at TOSU and I was kind of peeking in on Mandy's online study between plays of the early games. I must say I learned a great deal. At one point Mandy was doing a quiz where she had to label various types of household relationships. I was trying to be helpful. I really was. One question involved what you call a situation where an unmarried man and woman are living together. I said, "Shacking up." Another situation involved one man married to 3 ladies. I said, "Mormonism." Yet another described a situation where 1 man, several women, one full set of teeth, and farm animals co-habitat. I guessed, "West Virginian?"
It looks like the new Angie Jolie/Depp film has tanked at the box office for some unknown reason. It's hard to say why this happened. Perhaps all the millions of women who admire Depp so fervently are staying away because Angie is so much hotter than them. Chalk it up to rank jealousy on the part of these masses of Depp lovers.
Just remember, if you're gonna venture out in the cold - wear a coat!!! That's free advice from TBFH to you. You're welcome.
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