Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Waitress Who Inquires About Pegging On A Snowy Day


I was out tooling around town last Friday afternoon in the big snowstorm and people were driving way too cautiously - so cautiously it was dangerous. Folks were driving like 15-20 mph for no good reason whatsoever. So, I was getting a little annoyed, to say the least. What I did is stop in the nearest bar (shocking!) and wait out the morons on the road. And that turned out to be a bit of a mistake. I'm sitting at this joint on Battleground and trying to mind my own business and there is this waitress who was bored (there was virtually no one else in the place) and decided to pepper me with questions about pegging. For the uninitiated, pegging involves a woman, a dude, some lube, and a strap-on. I never caught this girl's name, but she told me that a friend (a fellow waitress no doubt) was into it with some guy and she was dying to try it on her boyfriend. He was pretty hesitant to let her slam his ass evidently and she was asking how she might coax him into some heavy pegging action for the Holidays. I was at a bit of a loss, to say the least. I mean, what was I supposed to tell her? After about 5 minutes of trying to evade her questions and hoping she'd just walk away, I decided to tell her that if she really wanted to convince this boyfriend to get into the old prone position and submit to a round of anal pounding, she probably needed to get to a dentist and have her damn teeth fixed. And that did the trick. It shut her right up. Bars...they're the worst.




Well, it looks like the US Senate is going to pass the abomination that is the health care deal later this week. Here's how bad it is - as I noted last week, even the liberals on the MSNBC hate the thing. Some of the details have leaked out (as it looks like the vote was taken under the cover of darkness with very few Senators having any idea exactly what they were voting to enact) here the last 2 days, and the one I've been talking about and been the most fearful of is in the thing - that is forcing people to buy health "insurance." And if they don't, they will be subject to all sorts of fines and potential jail time. It will be fun to see whatever bureaucracy is put in place with this deal try and run down folks who don't buy coverage and toss them in prison (knowing Obama, Reid, and Pelosi, they'll probably use Gitmo for such a purpose). Of course it appears none of the folks who are pushing this are likely to be in power by the time it is fully integrated (2013 or 14). Reid is likely to get his ass voted out in Nevada. Pelosi is likely to be in the minority party of the House again, and old Barry is very likely to get trounced in the next election (maybe even in his own party's primaries by the smoking hot Hillary Rodham Clinton). The guy who coined the phrase Obamanation was dead on, no doubt about that now.




One of the funniest things about the MSNBC is that all the liberals on there don't like to refer to themselves as liberals any longer. They call themselves "progressives" instead. And I think I have some insight into why. One reason is that the term liberal conjures up images of pathetic failures like George McGovern, Jimmy Carter, Fritz Mondale, Mike Dukakis, and John Kerry. I wouldn't want to be associated with that crew of losers myself, even if I totally agreed with them on every major issue (as these "progressives" surely do). The other reason the word "progressive" is hammered down our throats is even more dastardly, it's downright Orwellian to be honest. By calling themselves "progressives," there is an implication that if you disagree with their asinine ideas, that you are some kind of reactionary who longs to return to the days of slavery. It's a very clever linguistic trick - no doubt dreamed up by Noam Chomsky or some lackey of his from MIT. The fact of the matter is that the folks on the MSNBC and all their allies in the Ivy League and Washington are not progressive in any sense of the word. If anything, they are the true reactionaries, as they are desperately trying to implement old socialist ideas on the US that have failed time and again around the globe. At least with someone like Mike Dukakis or McGovern, they were honest about being straight up liberals and didn't hide behind some ridiculous Orwellian term that obfuscated their true colors. Not that anyone cares about any of this, but I thought I'd bring it up, as it is highly nauseating - at least to me.




Geilfuss did manage to get his blog post up about jury duty the other day. In the post, he mentioned watching Secondhand Lions while waiting to be called into the jury box (or whatever they call it). I found this highly curious. Why would Baltimore County District Court show such a horrible movie to jurors waiting to be called into a case? Maybe they figure that after watching Secondhand Lions, even jury duty will seem entertaining in comparison. I have no idea. I do know one thing though from reading Geilfuss' post about his day on jury duty - all my efforts to get out of it have been well worth the trouble. And it proves what I always say about voting is true: voting is for suckers.




The other thing about Geilfuss and jury duty that struck me is the whole idea about defendants having the right to a jury of their peers. And I wonder what kind of trial the justice system would pick Geilfuss for where he would be a peer of a defendant. Maybe if the defendant were up on charges of nailing strange women in Hollandtown and losing his shoes in the process??? Other than that, ...




I managed to finally see The Reader the other day. Now, I'm not claiming it's in the same class as that cinematic masterpiece, Secondhand Lions. But, it is really good. Riveting. Kate Winslet (I know I keep hyping her on this blog), is unbelievable, in an impossible role. No other actress alive today could have pulled off what Winslet did in this movie. Also, the scene at the end where Ralph Fiennes goes to NY and visits with the Holocaust survivor, it says all you really need to know about the 20th century. Devastating.




Lastly today, I wanna say thanks to someone who came through huge for me and Brandon last night, and that is Jim Zorn. We had Giants -3 and the over at 43&1/2 and a parlay of both. And the bets were in the bag by 10:45 (before Hoarders even ended). I will probably not bet against the Skins in either of their last 2 games this season. But since this is Zorn's swan song in DC, it was nice for him to be totally terrible, inept, and downright stupid one last time (that fake FG attempt before half???).


Father Christmas, give us some money
Don't mess around with those silly toys
We'll beat you up if you don't hand it over
We want your bread so don't make us annoyed
Give all the toys to the little rich boys

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