Wednesday, November 18, 2009

A Man Named Rachel


I haven't had too much of an opportunity to surf the old TV for the ridiculous cable news shows lately, but last night there was no football and I did stumble onto 2 folks on the MSNBC that I hadn't had the fortune to be entertained by before. The first guy comes on right after the guy who screams nonsense at 5 o'clock, I believe he calls himself The Ed Show. He's pretty unwatchable. And very angry. The Ed Show was worked up about some chick from Alaska and this socialized health care deal. The thing about his stance on the socialized health care deal is that he's pissed it's not more socialized for some reason. The Ed Show was talking to a flaky liberal named Tom Harkin and giving Harkin the business over this health care catastrophe not being more of a catastrophe. It was mildly amusing. The Ed Show also seemed to have genuine hatred for this chick from Alaska. It made no sense to me. As far as I can tell, this girl doesn't hold any office whatsoever and wrote a silly book. What's her great offense? Why the irrational hatred from The Ed Show? Baffling. Also, I will say that this The Ed Show fellow looks like he spends lots of time in the old buffet line restaurants. He's a big boy. I wonder how he'll like being told no more buffet line food under the health care mandates that will outlaw or at the very least tax fatty foods from fatties. I don't think he's gonna be too down with it. The other guy I noticed last night came on after the guy who used to work with the guy who said En Fuego, has been fired countless times, and steals from Edward R Murrow (he's still angry for some reason, angry at everyone). Anyway this guy comes on at 9. It's a weird show. The first thing that freaked me out is that this guy goes by a traditionally female name. I mean, I realize names like Dana, Shannon, Lee, etc. have been used for both genders for a long while, but I never heard of a dude named Rachel before. But whatever, that's cool. You can't blame the guy for his folks naming him Rachel. That's on them. What really struck me about this Rachel guy was his super intense hatred for the Alaskan chick who wrote this book. His anger for the Alaskan chick made The Ed Show's anger look like almost nothing by comparison. Maybe this Rachel guy has a secret crush on the Alaskan chick? Maybe the Alaskan chick won't give this Rachel guy the time of day? Rachel did mention that he'd begged the Alaskan chick to do an interview and been shot down by her. So maybe this Rachel guy is feeling like a spurned lover or something. I have no idea. The other thing about the MSNBC, at least from last night's silly shows is this - you'd have no idea that old Barry was even our leader. They hardly talked about him at all. The awesome show hosts, all 4 of them I saw, were fixated on the Alaskan chick and bashing people I've barely heard of before. It was pretty amusing because it seems to me that by talking about the Alaskan chick every hour, they were giving her lots of free publicity for this memoir she's written. I bet it will sell pretty well. I won't read it of course. But lots of other folks will. I'm pretty sure she'll make a killing off it.




I saw where Barack Hussein Obama was over in Asia recently and was back at it bowing to fake leaders. I chastised old Barry for this back in the spring and apparently no one bothered to tell him that it makes him look like a weak, cowardly loser, and by extension makes all Americans look like losers. Thanks Barry! It makes me wonder who is advising Barry. Maybe Jimmy Carter? Jimmy The Greek? Jimmy Kimmel? Jiminy Cricket? Buddy Holly and the Crickets? Holly Golightly? Holly Hunter? Holly from that stupid Hugh Hefner show? Hugh Hefner himself? Hugh Grant? Hugh Rodham? Dennis Rodman? I could go on and on...


Very cool story out of the great state of Tennessee recently. Several Vol football players robbed a guy in a gas station parking lot using some type of gun. Anyway, that's not surprising in the least. Vol football players have been getting in trouble with the law forever. What was awesome about the story is that the guy who was robbed and most likely scared shitless by the experience didn't want the players disciplined by Lane Kiffin. He's a Vols fan and the Vols fans are so delusional that even if some of the players threaten your life, rape you girlfriend, or choke as QB of the Washington Redskins (that's you Heath Shuler), it doesn't matter. Let them play! Damn right! Tennessee is my kind of place. And remember this about Tennessee - when Rae Carruth was on the run after having his baby's mama shot, he went to hide in Tennessee. And who can blame him? If he'd been playing for the Vols instead of the Carolina Panthers at the time, the Vol fans would have let him off with community service (probably community service at a strip joint too).


Wild news out of the pitiful world of fantasy football. As all you readers recall, I drafted a terrible fantasy team this season (made up almost exclusively of players who've been arrested) to make a political statement about how ludicrous the whole the thing is. Well, after 10 games, I've won 4 of them!!! Unbelievable. I beat a kid this past weekend who should have torched me by about 50 points. But my team of thugs stepped up. Thanks especially to Ray Lewis and the rest of the Ravens D. They were menacing.


The Panther fans were getting pretty rowdy at Playas last Sunday. I don't really blame them too much. The Panthers had to have that game and they got it. But at several points during the contest, 2 or 3 Panther fans shouted "Slap that cock!" for some reason. Brandon, Ben, and I kind of looked at each other like "What the hell?" Also, although it wasn't needed, more evidence was produced that Cowboy fans are terribly clueless about the actual game of football. On just about every play of the Dallas/Green Bay game there were 3 Cowboy fans screaming for a penalty to be called on the Pack. It was nauseating. Especially for Brandon, he had dough on Dallas and they utterly debacled themselves (as Emmitt Smith would say). Between listening to the Cowboy idiots, the "Slap that cock!" Panther fans, and the horrible play calling inside the 10 by Andy Reid (the Eagles killed me Sunday), it wasn't the best day in the world to hang at Playas. Then again, when is? That place is awful.


Geilfuss and I are still alive in the big Survivor League. Although it's not so impressive when you consider that after 10 weeks 51 others are as well. We might have to roll with Dallas this week. We'll see.


Also, anyone who read the last post from last Thursday, I hope you heeded my advice and bet on the boys from Piscataway. They crushed USF 31-0 as a 1 point dog.


Let me up, I've had enough.






No comments: