Shaquille O'Neal Will Munch On Hannah Storm

There was a little news out of TOSU this past week. The disgraced and crooked Jim Tressel finally was forced to quit. Something I called for back in March when it came out that Tressel had breached his contract, sat on information that would have made several of his best players ineligible, and generally ruined the lives of hundreds of thousands of nuts who live vicariously through the football team's exploits each fall. Good riddance to you, Mr Tressel.

Speaking of TOSU and the crooked Jim Tressel, I have found the media coverage of his resignation hysterically funny. Many sports journalists have been quick to talk about how his leaving will be a tremendous detriment for the football team moving forward. What's funny about that is that many of these same journalists have ripped Tressel the past 4 &1/2 years for his inability to beat either Florida or LSU in the big silly national championship games. I've read countless opinion pieces, and heard from dozens of ESPN hype-machine talking heads, that Tressel was an epic failure because of those 2 losses. And I wonder, how can they have it both ways??? How can Tressel be both an epic failure for those losses and yet be some irreplaceable messiah at the same time??? As usual, the hypocrisy is laughable.

I know there are a few TOSU fans who check in on this blog from time to time. And for them, I would just say, don't panic. Don't get too wound up about the future of TOSU football. They will keep playing. No matter how severe the NCAA sanctions that will come down sometime later this year or next, TOSU will be just fine. They will hire another coach in December or January. That coach will know what the hell he's doing. That coach will more than likely win a lot of football games. As for who that might be, I could care less to be perfectly honest with you. It almost doesn't matter. TOSU has had 4 coaches the 60 years. And won and won and won some more. Hayes, Bruce, Cooper, and the crooked Tressel all are hall-of-fame coaches. This is no accident. The TOSU job is tailor made for winning. You've got a football crazy state. You're at one of the biggest universities in the world. You've got more alumni than just about any school in the world. And kids grow up in Ohio wanting to play for the Buckeyes - dreaming of it. Dying to. Hell, TOSU could hire Geilfuss and win 75% of their games. Seriously. So, don't fret. Just wait until Sep. 3rd. TOSU will take the field. Everything will be fine. Sit back with a cold beer and watch. That's all you have to do. That, and ignore the sports journalists who will try and convince you that your world is coming to an end. It's not. Hope that helps...

Lots of terrible economic news keeps trickling out - week after week, month after month. Barry and his boys have been just awful with their attempts to help kick start job growth. Long time readers of this blog will recall that I said from the get-go that Barry would be a disaster. And he has not disappointed on the disaster front. He's been golden as a disaster. As many of you know, I got bored of making fun of him last year. It became redundant. However, there is still a good likelihood that Barry will stick around for a 2nd term of folly and tyranny. The GOP can still manage to screw up their nomination process and leave voters with 2 terrible choices. Barry and that Mormon Mitt Romney. Or Barry and some Tea Party freak. If you recall my piece last December on the impending 2012 race to be our next fake leader, there were 2 guys who I said would have a great chance to beat Barry - Pawlenty and Daniels. Daniels is not running (evidently his wife has some skeletons in her closet). But Pawlenty is running. We'll see how he does. But I still firmly believe that he has the best chance of beating Barry. The other choices for GOP primary voters are bad at this point. Really bad. If you care about this stuff and actually bother to vote (which I don't), you've got to be a little depressed over the whole thing.

On the hoops front, Shaquille O'Neal called it quits the other day. I got in a bit of a conversation about where O'Neal ranks in the pantheon of NBA big men. I never saw Russell or Chamberlain play. So, I can't speak about them with any authority. However, of all the centers I have seen over the past 30 years or so, I would rank O'Neal third. Right behind Olajuwon and Malone. O'Neal was a terrible rapper. And the worst actor I've ever seen save for Rick Fox. He couldn't shoot a free throw to save his life. And then there's all the classy behavior he showed when doing things like mocking Yao Ming in a strange, stilted, and exaggerated Chinese accent. Having noted that, O'Neal was the best passing center I've ever seen. And obviously an unstoppable force around the rim for much of his career. There was speculation that O'Neal will be hired by ESPN. It would be interesting to watch him on set eat Jalen Rose and Tim Legler whole. And maybe munch on Mike Wilbon for dessert. Of course, O'Neal would probably really like to munch on Hannah Storm. But I digress...

Speaking of hoops, we're in the midst of the NBA finals. And not to toot my own horn or anything, but everything I wrote about James and his decision last summer has come true. I know that if you listen to the sports media, you'd be hard pressed not to buy into the idea that James has been the best player in the history of the world this post-season. That's bullshit. James has been really good for the most part. I wouldn't argue otherwise. But there's a reason for that. It goes unmentioned by the ESPN hype-machine and their ilk, but it's because the kid isn't playing tight. He's got a real closer next to him. He knows when the pressure is really on, Wade is there to take over and finish. That, in my mind, is the reason that James has played so well. Once again, James should be praised, not ridiculed, for admitting that deep down he's Scottie Pippen - not Mike Jordan, not Kobe Bryant, and certainly not Dwyane Fucking Wade.

I haven't been out and about too much here lately. I've been laying low. Hence, no ridiculous bar stories to relay...

I did manage to catch The Black Swan the other night, and it wasn't quite as good as I had hoped. I liked it okay, don't get me wrong. But for Aronofsky, it wasn't as good as Pi, Requiem For A Dream, or The Wrestler. As far as that girl from Jerusalem goes, she was excellent. And that chick from That 70's Show was good as well. The only disturbing thing about the film was that Barbara Hershey popped up again (much as she did in the awful Insidious) and her plastic surgery ravaged face is too much for me...

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