A Wiener Grows In Brooklyn

I was aimlessly flipping around the old TV channels last night and came across something called Severe Makeover: Weight Loss Edition. It was about some kid from the ATL who was 459 pounds & over the course of a year lost 216 of those pesky pounds. It was all uplifting and heartwarming. Blah, blah, blah...Anyway, as a viewer who used to watch the original Severe Makeover back 8 or 9 years ago or whenever it was, I was hoping that when they did the "reveal" of this kid who lost the 2 bills, he would look like a poor woman's version of Meg Ryan. Because back on the old Severe Makeover, almost all the ladies they made over on the program looked like a deranged version of Meg Ryan at the "reveal" for some reason.

I've been seeing something on the news channels about some tool named Weiner who likes to send pictures of his wiener to girls half his age he's never met. Evidently this Weiner wiener guy is some congressman from Brooklyn or someplace around the old NYC. I've written about sexting before on this stupid blog (back when Greg Oden sexted). But I didn't think a Jewish congressman would send lewd photos of his junk to unsuspecting & slightly chubby Jewish coeds. I mean, as always, I don't pass judgment on how folks get freaky. Whatever floats your boat. Or your wiener for that matter. Rock on with your bad self. All this does beg the question though, if your last name happens to be Weiner, doesn't it stand to reason that at some point you're gonna be fixated on sending photos of your wiener to lonely Jewish coeds??? And the obvious outcome of sending photos of your wiener if your name is Weiner, is that folks will say things like Weiner's wiener is wistfully wanton. Things like that. Silly and obvious jokes. Poor fella. I hope he finds the right Jewish coed who will accept this wiener that Weiner so desperately wants to share with the right low self-esteem inflicted, slightly pathetic looking gal of Hebrew descent.

Speaking of sexting and sending naked photos of yourself to every possible drunk hook-up partner, many readers of this blog have received such photos on their little Blackberry or I-Phone or whatever the hell they're called. How do I know this, you may be wondering??? Well, I know it because a number of guys who I hang out with from time to time receive naked photos of potential hook-up partners on a regular basis. And they wanna share with a drinking buddy when they receive such a photo. Not that I'm too eager to take a look. Because on the occasions I have taken a look at these naked photos that drunk, lonely ladies send out around midnight on an evening when they want a fast fuck, I've seen some strange things. Lots of piercings for one thing - both nipple and labia. Lots of 2 or 3 fingers shoved in vaginas as well. Even a few with a finger in the old poop chute (a not so subtle invitation to partake in the dark world of the anal arts). Now, I'm not gonna name any names of who exactly seems to get these photos sent to them on a chronic basis, but you can find a couple of them imbibing at Wing Joint from time to time. I've seen too much in that bar. Hell, I've seen too much in too many bars.

Summer is basically here and that means some hot days in NC. I was happy to see that our weather friends on WFMY News 2 here in the Gate City suggested to go ahead and run the air conditioner if the temperature gets over 95. I hadn't considered doing that until they suggested it. Thanks, WFMY. I'm not sure if Fox 8 & WXII have passed along this little known tip to their viewers, but in case they haven't, I thought I'd pass it along myself.

Speaking of the heat, I hate the heat (not the Miami Heat, I always enjoyed watching Glen Rice shoot the rock). In fact, I hate almost all weather. Unless it's like 60-75 degrees out with a decent breeze, I have little interest in being outdoors. I prefer manufactured indoor weather. Like 62-64 degrees. You know these folks who are outdoor enthusiasts??? I can't relate to them. For the life of me, I don't know why someone would prefer to be outside when they could be sitting inside a cool bar, watching sports, and hoisting back a few. And these folks who go camping or hiking or kayaking or whatever, I don't get it. I really don't.

There's been a number of bear sightings around Greensboro the past month or so. Someone at the place I occasionally show up to work asked me if I'd run across any bears myself. And the answer is, yes I have come across a bear. Yogi Bear to be exact. I sat next to him at a dive bar on W Market a few weeks ago. He was drinking Red Stripe and Royal Flush shots. I asked him why he wasn't at Jellystone harassing those pesky campers like always. He said he needed a break from that annoying little Boo Boo dude. I can sympathize with Yogi there. That Boo Boo, much like Scrappy Doo, is one tiresome sidekick. Now, I haven't come across Scooby Doo in any bars. At least not to date. I'm guessing he and Shaggy like to frequent higher end joints. And come to think of it, smoke a lot of joints. If I ever do run across Scooby somewhere, I'll ask him to give me old Daphne's number. Obviously...

Well, yet another completely pointless post comes to a conclusion.