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| Wouldn't it be tough to land down a chimney in those shoes? |
The yuletide season is getting closer and closer. Maybe. Today, as many news outlets have been reporting for months on end, is, according to Mayan lore, the end of the world. I'm not sure what time it's all gonna come to an end today. But I sincerely hope I have a large tab open at some awful dive bar at the time. Although to be honest, I rarely have a large tab open anywhere. And tonight I'm stopping in 2 more places for 2 more Christmas parties. That means people will be handing me shots like there really is no tomorrow. More than likely, I won't have to pay for any of them. I rarely do. My tab is generally like $8-$12 no matter what. I guess it's the one perk to so many barflies finding me entertaining. I have no idea.
Speaking of Mayan lore, I don't think many folks really know that much about the Mayan civilization. I count myself among them. All I know is that if you go to Guatemala you can see Mayan ruins. I'm never going to Guatemala. So, I'm never going to see the ruins. I also know that those pesky Spanish conquistadors tried to colonize Mayan territory. Other than those 2 facts, I've got nothing for you, as Jeff Probst would say on that CBS show where that tax cheat ran around naked back in 2000 while Kelly Wiglesworth looked on in horror. The Mayans are getting lots of attention today. But I suspect if the world doesn't end sometime today, they'll be ridiculed and forgotten. As if they were ever remembered by most folks anyway. It's all pretty silly.
Also, Mark Titus made an excellent point in his weekly college hoop column on ESPN's generally horrible website. If the world does end today, the Duke Blue Devils will be the #1 team in the country. That fact almost makes me wish the world will end within the next 12 hours. If there's one source of evil that can only be stopped by the end of the world, it's gotta be Coach K.
Speaking of Duke, a few years ago, right on this very blog, I touted Mason Plumlee as a potentially exceptional player. And I'll be damned, but I was right again. The uneducated and stupid typical Duke fans have long expressed disdain for Plumlee and his perceived underachievement during his career in Durham. Now? He's probably the 2nd best big man in college hoops behind my man Doug McDermott at Creighton. That kid is lights out from 3.
I know I promised more college bowl write-ups. So, I'm gonna follow through on that right now. I'm 2&1 so far. Those damn Aztecs were horrible in the 4th quarter last night, as they went strip 6, fumble, pick 6, and pick on 4 straight offensive possessions after leading 6-3 with 12:45 left. Alas, they lost by 17...
Beef O'Brady's Bowl - Ball St (+7) vs UCF - St Petersburg, FL 7:30 tonight. I've been rolling with the boys from Muncie for over 2 months now. They've been on fire. They run the football efficiently and have a decent QB who uses play action quite well. I can't see why UCF would be all that excited to play in this game. Plus, who is Beef O'Brady? He sounds like a pervert pushing hamburger patties on young boys. I'm taking the points with the Cardinals.
New Orleans Bowl - ECU (+5) vs Louisiana Lafayette - New Orleans, LA Noon Saturday. I love the Pirates chances at an outright win. They haven't won a bowl game yet under my man Ruffin McNeill, but this should be their time. The Ragin Cajuns are not 5 points better than the Pirates. I guess the point spread is so off due to LA Lafayette playing in their home state. But I don't expect a home field advantage of any significance. ECU ended the season playing really well on offense the past 6 or 7 games. This is my top pick for the weekend's bowl action.
Maaco Las Vegas Bowl - Washington vs Boise (-5) - Las Vegas, NV 3:30 Saturday. Boise's defense was about as tough as usual this year. On offense, remember they had to replace a 4 year starter at QB (Kellen Moore) and a kid who has gained over 1,000 yards as a rookie for the City of Tampa (The Muscle Hamster himself, Doug Martin). The new QB, one Joe Southwick, has played well recently. One big edge for Boise in this one is that Huskies QB Keith Price has been running for his life behind a terrible offensive line. I expect more of that. Did you see the Huskies implode against Washington State in their last game (up 27-10 late in the 3rd)? That was largely due to Price getting battered by a weak Cougar defense. Imagine what the Broncos should be able to accomplish. The other big edge is coaching. Boise has one of the 5 best in college football. Washington has a position coach who used to play QB at BYU...
Hawaii Bowl - SMU vs Fresno St (-12) - Aloha Stadium in Honolulu, 8 Monday. Take the Bulldogs. SMU snuck into a bowl after upsetting Tulsa somehow. On paper, the Mustangs are outmatched all over the field. Unless Fresno plays flat for over half the game, they should win comfortably. This is always one of my favorite bowls, because really, what the hell else is there to do on Christmas Eve?
I was gonna write about the almost epically bad football I witnessed last Sunday during the entire day of Sunday Ticket. Did you catch the Chiefs/Raiders game??? Wow! But I gotta run.
And I heard him exclaim as he rode out of sight, Man I shouldn't have hit the pipe so hard...
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