Those Baffling Christmas Lyrics

Fully Prepared For Frightful Weather

I was sauntering through a local store recently and that pesky Christmas music was playing on the audio system in the place. One of the lyrics to one of these tunes really struck me hard. It went something like this, "The weather outside is frightful..." At the time it was about 70 degrees in the Gate City. In other words, the weather was anything but frightful. Who comes up with this garbage??? The lyric should have gone, "The weather outside in unseasonably warm..." The problem with that is that it's pretty difficult to rhyme anything with warm. Maybe it could have gone, "The weather outside is unseasonably warm, but in Greensboro that's sometimes the norm." I can't come up with anything better than that. Maybe, "The weather outside is unseasonably warm, but it's still chilly in the coed dorm." I'm guessing the writer of this Holiday classic found it easier to rhyme using the word "frightful" as opposed to "warm." I have no idea. But these Christmas music writers sure do seem to take the easy way out when it comes choosing words to rhyme with. That same song went on to say, "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow." Now that's just pure insanity. I'm not claiming that I have the god-like power to stop snow. Or make it snow. Or whatever. But for someone to go ahead and give in and just say, "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow" is deranged. People here in Greensboro are notoriously shitty drivers in bad weather (and generally shitty drivers in perfect conditions as well...) and for someone to hope it snows and snows and snows is really sick. What you're basically saying at that point is that you wish for massive vehicular tragedy - not exactly in tune with the supposed theme of Christmas. You know, all that peace on earth and good will toward man silliness. These damn Christmas songs.

I checked on the old Faceshit here recently and saw some pictures of Geilfuss wearing a bow tie and black tuxedo vest. It took me a minute to figure out the context of what I was seeing. At first, I thought Geilfuss had maybe dressed up like a penguin for some kind of gag party. And then I saw a few more photos of the affair where Geilfuss was so nattily attired. And everything became clear to me. Geilfuss was at a wedding. To be more precise, Geilfuss was at his own wedding. That's right. Geilfuss got hitched!!! You may be wondering who the lucky person was that Geilfuss gave his hand in wedded bliss to. And while I can't be exactly sure, I think Geilfuss married Tyson. Tys was similarly adorned with tuxedo vest and bow tie. So, I put one and one together. I'm not stupid. I hope the two of them have many wonderful hours of happiness before this sham marriage inevitably ends in a drunken fistfight. It should be noted that Andy was in a few of the Faceshit photos at this Geilfuss/Tys wedding deal. And being the good sport that he is, Andy probably agreed to be best man for both Geilfuss and Tys. Andy's that nice a guy. He probably fumbled a bit trying to remember whose ring was in which pocket of his pants. But that's understandable. God knows I've never been asked to be anyone's best man. Hell, I've never been asked to be in a wedding, period. Come to think of it, I haven't been invited to a wedding in 20 years (that would be a disaster waiting to happen, obviously). Anyway, getting back to Andy being best man for both Geilfuss and Tyson at their recent nuptials, I know he did his best. He was probably a bit misty eyed watching two of his lifelong friends finally tie the old knot. I know I got a little choked up when I figured out what was going on in those Faceshit pictures. So, congrats to Geilfuss and Tys. As I said, it won't last long. And the cops will be called nightly for domestic disturbances. But at least the two of them had the courage to take the plunge and give marriage a whirl. Something I can never fathom trying. Bravo!

Speaking of the old Faceshit, I've purged my number of "friends" on the damn site down to 20 (by the way, if anyone is reading this who I've purged from  my "friend" list, don't take it personally, as I'm just an anti-social recluse by nature). Anyway, my buddy Jay is still on my "friends" list and he posted something that caught my eye recently. I should preface this by noting that Jay, while a super nice guy, is an in the bed with Barry socialist. Which is fine, to each his own. Blah, blah, blah...The reason this particular post caught my eye is because it mentioned how unfair it is to ask teachers that make $50,000 a year to take a 20% pay cut while at the same time not forcing millionaires to pay 3% more in federal income tax. As far as at what percentage millionaires should be taxed, reasonable people can disagree on that. If you've read this blog over the past 4 years, you know I think everyone should pay the same federal income tax rate - from millionaire hedge fund managers all the way down to kids who run the fry machine at the corner Burger King. But that's beside the point in relation to this Faceshit post about the unfairness in asking teachers who make $50,000 a year to take a 20% pay cut. I've had the great pleasure to get to know and work with hundreds of teachers over the past 15 years. Teachers in many different states and in many different areas of teaching. Now, I realize that teacher pay varies wildly depending on a given teacher's experience level, school district, etc. But what I can promise you with great certainty, based on thousands of hours working with and around teachers, is that they are not underpaid. In fact, I'd argue a vast majority of them are way overpaid. Way overpaid. If cities, school districts, counties, states, or whoever want to save the taxpayers some dough under these times of tight budgets, I think an across the board 20% pay cut for teachers is a nice place to start. It won't happen though. When I first saw Jay's Faceshit post about this whole teacher pay/millionaire deal, I got a little excited for a fleeting moment hoping that teacher pay really would be cut by 20%. Then I remembered the outrage that would ensue. Then the inevitable demonstrations in cities across the country. And the teacher strikes. When I remembered all that, I giggled. There's no way in hell teachers will have to take a 20% pay cut across the country. That's laughable. But it is a nice pit of propaganda from Jay and his buddies on the left in their never-ending attack against successful folks. I'll give them that.

College football bowl season is upon us once again, one of my favorite times of year. I can't promise to get previews of all 35 games up (not at the rate I've been posting this year - dreadful, I know). But I'll do my best. Here are previews for the 1st two unwatchable games. And by unwatchable, I mean only a few thousand fans of each school will care. Oh, and the degenerate gamblers. Every degenerate gambler in the known world will be watching very closely.

New Mexico Bowl - Saturday at 1 pm, Nevada vs Arizona (-9) total 75 &1/2. As many of you know, I'm a longtime fan of  Chris Ault and the real Wolf Pack from Reno. But their defense is terrible this year. They can't stop the run to save their lives, ranking over 100th in the FBS. Rich Rodriguez has the weapons to exploit Nevada. If the Wildcats come to play with any kind of edge at all, they should put up 40+ points. Nevada can run the football out of the pistol. They should keep things interesting. Expect plenty of points, depending on the weather (it's supposed to snow tomorrow, and be around 40 at kickoff Saturday). I'm not wagering too much at all on this contest.

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl - Saturday at 4:30 pm, Toledo vs Utah St (-10&1/2) total 58. This huge game, honoring french fries and hash browns, will be played on the Smurf Turf in Boise. The one thing I know is that the Aggies can play defense, as they give up only 14 points a game. The Rockets? Not so much. I hate laying double digits in bowl games however. The weather will be about what you'd expect, around 40 degrees. But there's no snow in the forecast. I'm looking at the under here pretty hard. Even if there are some big plays, I don't see 8 touchdowns and a field goal being scored. Plus, Utah St should grind the clock on the ground, limiting possessions.

More games begin next Thursday night in San Diego. I'm sure I'll get a post up by then. But I'll tell all of you now, I like the hometown Aztecs over the Mormons in that one.

Silver Balls, Silver Balls