The Guy With The Hairy Back Who Sips Tanqueray At Scams Lakeside

The Next Jimmer???

I was sitting at the bar at Scams Lakeside yesterday afternoon, taking in a couple of college hoops games, and an older gentleman was sitting directly to my left who had some of the most massive back hair I've ever witnessed. It's not something I was trying to notice, believe me. This dude happened to be wearing an ill fitting t-shirt for some reason. In fact, the t-shirt was so loose in the back that I had an easy glimpse of several inches of his back hair. It was a little unsettling to say the least. The guy was getting hammered as well. I'm not sure when he got to Scams exactly, but I do know that when the bartenders changed shifts around 4:20 his tab was $42. And let me assure anyone who hasn't been to any of the Scams around the Greensboro area that it is very difficult to run up that big a tab unless you're buying shots for multiple people. This hairy backed old-timer was doing nothing of the sort. After the guy paid his initial tab he kept on drinking. He was ordering these repulsive looking shots that were off crimson in color. Turns out his shot of choice was Tanqueray with a splash of cranberry. He attempted to speak to me several times over the 3 &1/2 hours we sat next to each other. The only problem with that is I couldn't make out a word he was uttering. I simply nodded a few times in his direction. My attention was solely focused on the Mich St/Michigan game at 4 and the NCSU/G Tech game at 6. I had a monetary interest in the Spartans covering +5 in Ann Arbor and the Jackets and fake Wolfpack going under 139 &1/2. Both things happened. It is March and my track record on college hoops is a good one. Anyway, if you happen to see a sloppily dressed gray haired fellow out at a bar sipping on shots of Tanqueray and cranberry for hours on end, and if you have a razor handy, please hand it to him and plead with said hairy monster to either 1) shave his damn back hair or 2) go ahead and slit his wrists. Maybe both if you can talk him into it...

I mentioned the Michigan Wolverines in the previous paragraph. There is a player on the squad named Trey Burke. And he's very, very good. Blah, blah, blah. One fact about Burke that has caught the attention of fans of TOSU is that Burke is from Columbus, Ohio (he played high school ball with Jared Sullinger for the Northland Vikings if anyone cares). I've read quite a bit of bitching from TOSU fans about why Burke is not playing for their beloved Buckeyes and instead for their hated rivals up north. And that's a fair question. The fact is that Thad Matta did not offer Burke a scholarship out of high school. In retrospect, Matta should have, obviously. But I give Coach Matta a pass on the whole "Why the hell is Burke not playing for his hometown team?" deal. Two years ago Matta signed an even more highly regarded point guard in the same TOSU class that Burke was not a member of - a kid out of the Atlanta area named Shannon Scott (son of UNC's very own Charlie Scott, the 1st brother to ball for the Heels). Scott doesn't start. Aaron Craft starts. But Scott does play vital minutes for the Buckeyes. I've probably watched Scott play in 60 or so games the past 2 seasons for TOSU (I watch TOSU hoops very closely). And you can definitely see what Matta and other coaches like about Shannon Scott. He's lightning fast. He steals lots of passes. His assist to turnover ratio is one of the best in the country. What Scott doesn't do is shoot the ball very well. And that's where Trey Burke excels. Burke can score the damn basketball. It'll be interesting to see if the Wolverines and Buckeyes meet a 3rd time this year at the Big 10 Tournament in Chicago. Some of Burke's worst games as a collegian have come against TOSU. Aaron Craft can flat harass any guard in the country into an off-night. I would just remind TOSU fans to not give up on Shannon Scott at all. Sure, he's no Trey Burke. I'll readily admit that. But I can still see big things ahead for Scott moving forward.

Speaking of the Wolverines & Buckeyes rivalry, that 2nd game they played about a month ago in Ann Arbor was the best game I've seen all season. Riveting. Butler/Indiana is right there as well. And don't forget Gonzaga/Butler either. Or Michigan/Wisconsin. I could keep going and going. The fact is that this has been a tremendous year for college hoops. As always, it's a shame that so many folks in these parts pay no attention to any of the games not involving UNC, NCSU, or Duke. It really is. They call themselves college basketball fans, but have no clue who Shabazz Muhammad, Doug McDermott, Kelly Olynyk, or my main man  Tyler Haws is. And just in case you haven't been following late night WCC hoops this year, Tyler Haws is no Jimmer, but he is close. He can flat gun it. And yes, Haws is a Mormon...

I was out a drag show Saturday night at some gay club in Greensboro. And no, I'm not making that up. As you can imagine, I've got a few stories to tell. It'll have to wait til next time though. Gotta run...