A Kid In A Blue Lacoste Shirt Talks A Little Sports

I saw one of those pesky vanity plates recently & on it was the title of a Dead tune (Sugaree, if anyone cares). Anyway, that got me to thinking about which Dead tune I would choose for my vanity plate. My favorite Dead song, as Andy & Fat Paulie can attest to, is Throwing Stones. I'd have Paulie play it every Monday night about 1:30 at Get Bent Lounge when he deejayed - at deafening levels. So, Throwing Stones would be a good choice. But maybe not the most appropriate one. The most appropriate one would be Hell In A Bucket. Obviously...

Speaking of Paulie and playing tunes at deafening levels, the other song I'd have him play every Monday night was Tunnel Of Love by Dire Straits. At some point I liberated that CD from Paulie, the one that contained Dire Straits' greatest hits. At the moment I believe said Dire Straits CD is in the dungeon area of the shed at the Wing Joint Operator's home...

The PGA stars are gathered at Sawgrass once again this week. The Tiger already quit the tournament after shooting a 42 on the front 9 this morning. The Tiger claimed his knee and achilles were giving him some pain. I have no idea if that's true or not. Whatever is going on with his knee, I don't think shooting 6 over par for 9 holes made it feel better...

I ventured out last night to some terrible dive on W Market called Lenders Tavern. I was there strictly for the trivia. I told my fine upstanding teammates that I'd try to get us some points for the next round of Team Trivia playoffs that are coming up in July. So, I kept my word. I stumbled into the joint right at 8, gave the trivia hostess our team #, and told the bartender to put the damn O's game on for me. He did. The trivia crowd had a decided Wing Joint flavor to it. The Dirty 530 were out, as well as several of the fat guys from the team won the big game last Saturday afternoon. I sat by myself and guessed at the questions. Which worked out okay. I got us a 75 point game (the max you can get for a Team Trivia game is 86). I didn't win. Justin, Billy, & Justin's wife beat me. Fair and square too. Way too many science type questions in the 2nd half for my taste. Fortunately there was lots of pop culture & sports (hell, the hostess chick asked SNL related trivia at one point) in the 1st half questions. And those I excel on for some reason. I know a few things. The weird thing about the experience at Lenders was the hostess was one of these way too friendly gals. You know the type: real chatty, telling personal stories that no one gives a shit about, and meandering around to the various bad teams to give them hints. She asked me at one point if I wanted a hint on some question about a show I've never seen called Mad Love. I told her "Fuck no." And that was that. I might go back to Lenders at some point. For one thing, our team could use the points. Two, I didn't have to socialize with a soul sitting there by myself. And third, I have a $15 gift certificate I need to use. Those damn gift certificates will get you every time. I wish they'd give out packs of smokes instead...

By the way, for folks who read this blog who have been concerned with my treatment of Billy the last few months - FYI: Billy and I had a nice conversation after the trivia game at Lenders. We're good. And let me say for the record that Billy is a good guy. He has no issue with me. There is no issue.

After the wild trivia game at Lenders, I traversed some roads and walked into Wing Joint. I wanted to say hello to Tess & Alex, as I'd only seen them once this year so far. I had a nice visit with them. Blah, blah, blah. I was gonna take off about 10:30. Then things got interesting. A woman I don't remember ever meeting came up to me and said hello to me by name. Then her husband came over and he couldn't have been nicer. He told me that at some point the past year or so he and his wife were in Wing Joint and really enjoyed whatever I was ranting about on that occasion. He mentioned that Dave & I had the whole bar in fits of laughter. That had a ring of truth to it. Anyway, the husband and I went out for a smoke with Goosie and whatever girl Goosie is currently seeing. We were chatting about this and that. Then one of the husband's buddies came out. A buddy in a blue Lacoste shirt to be exact. And that's when things got really interesting. This blue Lacoste kid wanted me to back him up on his assertion that Mike Tyson is one of the 10 greatest boxers ever. I started naming boxers. I named about 20 who clearly had better careers than Tyson. Goosie and the husband were enjoying the show immensely. The blue Lacoste kid started with the "we're gonna have to agree to disagree" talk. A sure sign he'd lost the argument. Goosie informed the kid that I'm the wrong person to get into a sports debate with (unless it involves NASCAR - Goosie knows my disdain for NASCAR). At that point, the blue Lacoste kid started to shift the focus of sports debate. He shifted it to rivalries. And I explained to him, as I have to many others, why the biggest rivalry in sports is TOSU/Michigan in football. Namely because, if you lose that game, your season is over. Duke could, in theory, lose 3 times to Carolina in hoops and still win the national title. The Red Sox could, in theory, go 0 & 18 against the Yankees in the regular season and still win the World Series. TOSU could not lose to Michigan and play for a national title. My thoughts on this are impossible to dispute, as evidenced by the 2006 college football season when Michigan was #2 and lost to TOSU and did not get a rematch in the BCS Title game. Case closed. So, the blue Lacoste kid admitted I had a point there. But he didn't stop with sports topics. Maybe he was feeling it a bit. I'm not sure. But the blue Lacoste kid started telling all of us why Dean Smith is a better coach than Coach K. I had no issue with his opinion on the matter. But I was struck by his rationale. It was nonsensical. The gist of what he said, if I can make any sense out of it, was that Smith was better because of the era he coached. The fact that the ACC had only one bid to the NCAA's until the mid 70's, etc. I told the blue Lacoste kid that that line of thought, while certainly true, had little weight in the context of his argument. Coach K has won 4 titles with expanded 64-65 team fields. Smith won 1 title after the tourney expanded in 1985. Then I realized that I was doing something I never do. Ever. I was making a case for Coach K. I informed the blue Lacoste kid that I was gonna shut up on the whole issue. I wasn't gonna waste my time making a case for Coach K in any bar argument. The whole notion goes against every fiber of my being. The blue Lacoste kid wanted to know if I was a Carolina fan when he learned of my irrational hatred for Duke, Coach K, etc. Goosie stepped into the conversation at that point and told the absolute truth. Gooise said, "_____ is not a Carolina fan. But I can promise you that no one in the world hates Duke more than he does. I've personally seen _____ make Duke fans cry in this bar." And Goose is correct there. I have made Duke fans cry in Wing Joint when I'm in the mood. Eventually the blue Lacoste kid, the husband, and their whole crew took off. Then I went inside, found my man Q at the bar, and had some awful shot of cheap crap. I needed it...

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