The Papists vs Nick Saban

This little fella looks like he's had a few...

The big BCS Title game is just hours away as I type this. Normally I only do extensive write-ups for the Super Bowl. However, I'm gonna do one for tonight's tilt in South Florida as well. It's not every year that Notre Dame and Alabama face for the title. And each school has so much to offer when analyzing it. It's really on opportunity I couldn't pass up.

Let's look at the Irish first. Notre Dame is the flagship university for the Catholic Church in the Unites States. And that's a heavy burden to bear. When you think of the Catholic Church, a lot of really great accomplishments come to mind. There's the Spanish Inquisition, for instance. For about 350 years the Catholic Church in Spain executed folks left and right for no reason whatsoever. Lots of burning at the stake went down. There's also the Crusades that sent thousands to their deaths over a couple hundred years trying to retake "Holy Lands" for the Church. I know, you say, "but that's all ancient history, TBFH." And it is. But that's part of the awesome legacy that the Irish will be representing tonight in No Life Stadium. In the United States the Catholic Church also has quite a legacy. The biggest legacy being sex abuse on tens of thousands of young boys by trusted priests. In most cases, instead of turning over the offending priests to authorities for prosecution, the Church turned a blind eye. Or simply shuffled raping priests off to another parish only to have these pedophiles pick right up with their heinous crimes in another locale. Eventually the Catholic Church paid for these atrocities to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars in lawsuits, paid for by, you guessed it, run of the mill Catholics around the country through their tithing and whatnot to the Church. When you take all this evidence into account, admittedly it's hard to make a case to pull for the Irish in this game tonight. But it's not impossible. The reason that it's not impossible is because of the team the Irish are playing.

Mr Wallace will be pulling hard for the Tide from his grave.

Alabama has a unique history of its own. To say that the state of Alabama has been unkind to folks of color is akin to saying that Snooki is only a little bit skanky. There's slavery - not a very nice concept when it comes to treating your fellow man. And after slavery was abolished, the state of Alabama went to every length possible to keep brothers and sisters down for the next 120 years - what with those pesky poll taxes and Jim Crow laws being so pervasive. And then there's George Wallace. The legendary racist governor of the state. Did you know that Mr Wallace was still governor of the state as late as January 1987? That's unbelievable. It boggles the mind that as recently as 26 years ago, George Wallace was the people of Alabama's choice to be their leader. I won't delve any further into the dark side of Alabama history. It's too depressing.

So, we've got a classic battle between the Catholic Church, an organization arguably responsible for more evil than any other in world history, against Alabama, a state with a checkered history of hatred towards black folks. It's a tough call there. The next best thing to do is to go ahead and look at the actual football legacy of both schools for guidance on whom to pick in tonight's big game.

I doubt Robin Wright has any clue there is a BCS Title Game tonight

The Irish boast Gerry Faust, Bob Davie, Tyrone Willingham, & Charlie Weis among their legendary coaches. They have Rudy, the subject of an awful movie starring a hobbit, going for them. They have Lou Holtz, he of the amazing lisp, on their side. Of course, the Irish also have some players you may have heard of as well - Tim Brown, Joe Montana, Paul Hornung, Rocket Ismail, and several other NFL greats. The Tide have several legendary coaches in their past too - Mike DuBose, Dennis Franchione, and Mike Shula. They also have Forrest Gump, possibly the worst motion picture to ever win an Oscar, on their resume. Again, after looking into their storied histories, it's hard to find a winner for the BCS game tonight. But, when you really look deep into the 2 teams, a pick becomes easy.

Alabama has Nick Saban on the sidelines. The man who emphatically declared in December 2006 that he had no interest in leaving the Miami Dolphins for the Alabama coaching job. In fact, at one point towards the end of the Dolphins' season, after weeks of speculation that Saban was leaving Miami for Tuscaloosa, Saban told reporters this gem, "I guess I have to say it. I'm not going to be the Alabama head coach...I don't control what people say. I don't control what people on dot-com or anything else. So I'm just telling you there's no significance, in my opinion, about this, about me, about any interest that I have other than being the coach here in Miami." Within days of that statement, Saban was introduced as the Crimson Tide's 27th head coach. This is a great example of a person lying. And the ultimate slimeball move by a football coach. My favorite part of the quote is where Saban uses the phrase "people on dot-com." That's hilariously stupid. Given that Saban is still patrolling the sidelines for the Tide, you have to make your bet accordingly. Take the Irish +9 &1/2. I already have a bet in at that number. And you know it's gonna annoy me and many other folks who despise what the Catholic Church has done in the world to pull for the Papists. But I will. Anything is better than pulling for Nick Saban.

Besides all that, on a serious note, it should be a 3-7 point game for either team.

Enjoy the hype-fest!!!