Another Long NBA Season Begins

Better than any Spielberg film...

Another wacky NBA season broke out last night, as the Lakers torched the heavily favored Clippers by 13. Of note is that the Lakers got 76 points from their bench full of has-beens & journeymen. Canada's own Steve Nash had all of 3 points for the Lakers. And most interesting to this viewer was watching Blake Griffin go 3 for 10 from the charity stripe. Terrible...

My favorite moment of opening night was watching Mo Harkless, the kid out of St John's, nail a 3 with 11 seconds remaining to rally the Orlando Magic to an impressive 10 point loss in Indianapolis. Why was that so impressive, you may wonder? Well, if you had the Magic +12&1/2, and I did, it was huge...

In the least interesting match-up from Tuesday's action, the Miami Heat routed the Chicago Bulls. I was good with that though, as I had the Heat -4&1/2. A nice and boring blowout...

Many, many games in the NBA this evening. The one I'm most interested in will take place in the capital of the decaying and almost bankrupt state of California. Yes, Sacramento, where the Kings are hosting the Denver Nuggets. The reason it's so huge is because just a scant few months ago the Kings were on the verge of relocating to Seattle. Then out of nowhere some dude named Kivek Ranadive, a native of Mumbai of all places, swooped in and bought the team and kept them is Sacramento. And that's a shame for fans of the old Sonics. But a win for Kings' fans nonetheless. Anyway, I feel like a huge party like atmosphere will permeate Sleep Train Arena tonight (that really is the new name, they used to call it ARCO...) and the Kings should ride that to a solid win over the Nuggets, who have a new coach, roster depletions, and injury issues. Take the Kings -3.

I found myself in the old Horseshoe last Saturday evening for the 1st time in 5 years, as TOSU was battling with the outstanding student athletes from good old Horseplay U. Can you say mismatch? It was over by halftime. TOSU was up 42-7. I decided to stick around at half and I'm glad I did. I'm not the biggest fan of marching bands you'll ever meet, but TOSU's marching band is a little different than your average marching band. They did this tribute to movies or something during the show. Anyway, at one point they marched across the field like a T Rex. It was quite impressive. I'm sure that shit is all over YouTube. If you haven't seen it, check it out.

I didn't stick around much after halftime because the game was over and it was chilly as hell. I sometimes here folks bitch about people who leave football games early. The argument is that they're not real fans or something silly along those lines. I can't speak for anyone else, but I will say that, while I'm not a fan in any sense of the word, I paid $200 for a pair of seats off some seedy scalper on Lane Avenue an hour before kick-off & if I wanna get up and leave at any point during the game, then that's my prerogative. If folks are offended by that, I would urge them to pay $250 for the same pair of seats to the same seedy scalper and then sit there and freeze their asses off for 4 hours watching a 63-14 ass-kicking.

This is just silly...I'm stopping now.

Jameson. Maybe Too Much Jameson.

The 18 Is A Bad Man

I was out at some joint for Sunday Ticket on Bethel and found myself sitting at the bar outside for the 4 o'clock round of games. And I was surrounded by Steeler fans. There had to be 60 of them lurking about, chain smoking, and getting hammered off their asses. Pittsburgh was playing the Ravens at the time and silly me, I had a bet on Baltimore +1&1/2. I lost that bet due to a very bad decision by John Harbaugh. But I digress...Anyway, needless to say, I was the only person on this bar's patio pulling for the Ravens. And if you know Steeler fan, you know he/she does not take kindly to someone pulling for their opponent on a given Sunday. I didn't particularly care about that though, as we are in America and I can certainly exercise my right to the somewhat free speech we still enjoy. And I did exercise that tenuous right repeatedly during the tilt from the Ketchup Bottle Stadium. I ran through the gamut of my tired comments concerning the Pittsburgh QB and his propensity for trapping coeds in bathrooms. This particular audience had never heard them before however. And they didn't like them much. Let's just say they were a little sore, as Holden Caulfield might opine. At one point in the 3rd quarter, one of the many big, burly Steeler fans decided she'd had enough of my shenanigans and had one of the staff of this awful joint request that maybe I should take off from the place. I was happy to oblige the request. I don't relish being disagreeable or anything. So I bid adieu to the Steeler people, headed to a place a brisk 30 second walk away, & watched the end of the contest. I don't think I'll be going back to that bar's patio any time soon for a Steeler game though. I don't think I'm welcome there...

Earlier that same Sunday I was at the BW3 nearby the joint I just mentioned. The Cincinnati Bengals were playing in Detroit against the scrappy Lions. Or should I say the crappy Lions. Whichever. There were a number of Bengal fans in the bar, many of them in shiny AJ Green jerseys. And that's cool because I like AJ Green as much as the next guy. He's awesome. However, amongst the sea of Green 18 jerseys was a young lady sporting a 32 Benson jersey. I asked several Bengal fans nearby if the girl wearing the Benson jersey was a fan of drunk boating. Alas, none of them laughed...

The day before Sunday, which is usually Saturday, I was out for the TOSU game at one of the worst dive bars in North America (this one is called Flabbys and is located on Tamarack Circle). It's a place I wouldn't recommend anyone reading this ever step foot in. It was an older crowd chalk full of hard looking and hard drinking folks who've probably frequented the place for 3 decades. I tried to stay to myself and keep quiet. But as always seems to be the case, things didn't work out that way. Instead, I struck up a conversation with some old woman who was draining Jameson shots every 1/2 hour or so. And these shots were huge - easily doubles at most bars. Maybe triples. I'm not sure, as I've never been to good at measurements...Anyway, this lady had a bit of a mustache issue. Which is cool and all, I have no problem with that. Except I found it really distracting to try and focus on the TOSU game while this woman and her mustache were swigging back Jameson at an alarming rate. Eventually this lady won like $72 playing Keno. She decided to share her winnings with me and some other dude who had the misfortune of sitting on the other side of her. Yes, you guessed it, she ordered enormous shots of Jameson. Over about an hour period I had 3 of them. And that wasn't the wisest thing I've ever done. I realized I needed to get out of that dive bar just after the game ended. And I did. I know my limits. But before I took off, I asked this old mustachioed gal how in the world she was gonna get home after like 6 or 7 of these at least double shots of Jameson. She said she lived with her mother and it was within walking distance of the bar. I was relieved that she would be able to walk home. But I was also surprised to hear that such an aged person lived with their mother. Out of curiosity I asked her how old her mother was. She informed that her mother was 98. I pegged the drunk I was chatting with to be 67 at the very least. At that point I raced out of the terrible place. Everything ended up okay. I got back home safe and TOSU pulled out a 10 point win over the Iowa Hawkeyes. I don't anticipate heading back to that bar any time soon. Damn Jameson and old women with mustaches...

Alright, Arsenal has a huge Champions League match with Dortmund here in about 45 minutes. I'm out.

Pretty Persuasion

Chatting With Old Men

I know it's been quite a long stretch since my last post on this unnecessary and pointless blog. But don't worry, I'm not dead or anything. At least that I know of. I've relocated from the Gate City to parts father north. It's not important where exactly. Although I bet some of the brighter readers here will be able to figure out where I am currently residing. And by brighter readers, that obviously includes each and every one of you, except Geilfuss. He's always an exception, an outlier, a lost soul searching for something just out of his reach, and generally prone to random and baffling acts of suspect behavior.

Speaking of Geilfuss, I have received several interesting texts from the kid recently. Here are some examples -
1) Sent October 3rd at 9:05 pm - Brandon Sweden is awful. I have no idea who Brandon Sweden is??? Maybe a character from Catch-22???

2) Sent August 4th at 2:39 pm - At the Orioles game. There is a guy from Dundalk telling us how Obama is gonna bring back slavery. The slaves will be white. I simply responded - He's dead on. What else is there to say? 8 minutes later Geilfuss followed with this gem - Now he's ranting about how baseball umps have homosexual tendencies. You can pretty much guess how I responded to that - He's dead on again.

3) Sent on August 30th at 8:01 pm - Doesn't mean I couldn't find some West Virginia strange. I should probably explain the context that led up to this text. But I'm not going to. The fact is that Geilfuss probably did find some West Virginia strange that weekend. If there's one kid who toils away at T Rowe Price who could find some West Virginia strange, it's 100% Geilfuss. No question. I bet he found lots of West Virginia strange.

4) Sent last Saturday at 2:04 pm - I said Peterson is gonna have a Favre request performance. He asked what I meant. I walked away. I would have asked Geilfuss what he meant as well. A Favre request performance to me indicates that Peterson is going to send out pictures of his engorged member to some chick on the Jets media team. I don't think that's what Geilfuss intended. But you never know with Geilfuss. Maybe that's precisely what he intended. I have no idea.

I was out at some BW3 the last Saturday, sitting at the bar minding my own business and pulling hard for LSU -8&1/2, when an old timer struck up a conversation with me. He was wearing a Navy hat for some reason. And Navy had just lost to Duke 35-7. At one point I said, "Rough day there for the Midshipmen." He responded, "The who?" I knew I was in trouble at that point. He went on to inform me that he's in town for work. I didn't care. He further explained that he was from Kansas and hated the entire state of Missouri. And that piqued my interest. I asked him why and he told me that Missouri was pro slavery during the War Between the States back in the 1860's. I knew that of course, but was baffled as to why this old man would carry a grudge that dates back 150 years. He had difficulty articulating why. He was ill spoken to say the least. I was trying to ignore him and concentrate on the Gator/LSU game. Once he realized that I was interested in the game, he tried to engage me in pointless football banter. I learned that if he could he'd punch both Nick Saban and Pete Carroll in the mouth. I asked, "Are you into assault?" I then learned he wasn't big into legal terms, as he was clueless about what assault meant. He was drinking Stella pints and eventually ordered like 24 chicken wings. Now, he wasn't a fat guy by any means & I was curious why he ordered so many wings. I couldn't eat more than 10 of the damn things if my life depended on it. But this old dude ate all 24, very rapidly I might add. It was disgusting to witness. He didn't even eat the wings with any blue cheese. And that's communist shit right there. I went outside to smoke and he came strolling out to head on his way to wherever he was staying. I couldn't have been more relieved. I went back inside and ordered a shot. I felt a lot better after that. These damn old timers from Kansas, sitting there at the bar running their mouths about Missouri and football, they're the worst.

I was at some joint called Sloppys North last night watching Thug U/UNC, Seattle/AZ, and the ALCS simultaneously. Anyway, at one point I went outside to smoke and a gentlemen, this time from Oklahoma, started chatting with me. He had on an Oklahoma State Cowboy cap. I quickly reminded him of the 2004 Alamo Bowl when TOSU, as a 7 point dog, beat Ok State. He seemed nonplussed, which was fine. Then he started telling me that the great thing about Oklahomans is that they all have balls. He elaborated for about a minute on why Oklahomans have balls. It was fairly nonsensical, as you can imagine. Something having to do with tornadoes, farmers, the city of Tulsa, and the state of Texas blowing...I couldn't put my cigarette out fast enough at that point. I went back inside and you guessed it, ordered a shot. These damn guys from the middle of the country. They're really causing me to drink too much. They really are. I have no idea why they would speak to me in the 1st place. I'm not an inviting person. I'm really not...

I was flipping around the old TV the other day and ran across something about the government being shut down. I was all for it. I thought -" Cool, maybe it will shut down forever. That would be a start." Alas, I think it opened again. Oh well...

Bitter Tears