Jameson. Maybe Too Much Jameson.

The 18 Is A Bad Man

I was out at some joint for Sunday Ticket on Bethel and found myself sitting at the bar outside for the 4 o'clock round of games. And I was surrounded by Steeler fans. There had to be 60 of them lurking about, chain smoking, and getting hammered off their asses. Pittsburgh was playing the Ravens at the time and silly me, I had a bet on Baltimore +1&1/2. I lost that bet due to a very bad decision by John Harbaugh. But I digress...Anyway, needless to say, I was the only person on this bar's patio pulling for the Ravens. And if you know Steeler fan, you know he/she does not take kindly to someone pulling for their opponent on a given Sunday. I didn't particularly care about that though, as we are in America and I can certainly exercise my right to the somewhat free speech we still enjoy. And I did exercise that tenuous right repeatedly during the tilt from the Ketchup Bottle Stadium. I ran through the gamut of my tired comments concerning the Pittsburgh QB and his propensity for trapping coeds in bathrooms. This particular audience had never heard them before however. And they didn't like them much. Let's just say they were a little sore, as Holden Caulfield might opine. At one point in the 3rd quarter, one of the many big, burly Steeler fans decided she'd had enough of my shenanigans and had one of the staff of this awful joint request that maybe I should take off from the place. I was happy to oblige the request. I don't relish being disagreeable or anything. So I bid adieu to the Steeler people, headed to a place a brisk 30 second walk away, & watched the end of the contest. I don't think I'll be going back to that bar's patio any time soon for a Steeler game though. I don't think I'm welcome there...

Earlier that same Sunday I was at the BW3 nearby the joint I just mentioned. The Cincinnati Bengals were playing in Detroit against the scrappy Lions. Or should I say the crappy Lions. Whichever. There were a number of Bengal fans in the bar, many of them in shiny AJ Green jerseys. And that's cool because I like AJ Green as much as the next guy. He's awesome. However, amongst the sea of Green 18 jerseys was a young lady sporting a 32 Benson jersey. I asked several Bengal fans nearby if the girl wearing the Benson jersey was a fan of drunk boating. Alas, none of them laughed...

The day before Sunday, which is usually Saturday, I was out for the TOSU game at one of the worst dive bars in North America (this one is called Flabbys and is located on Tamarack Circle). It's a place I wouldn't recommend anyone reading this ever step foot in. It was an older crowd chalk full of hard looking and hard drinking folks who've probably frequented the place for 3 decades. I tried to stay to myself and keep quiet. But as always seems to be the case, things didn't work out that way. Instead, I struck up a conversation with some old woman who was draining Jameson shots every 1/2 hour or so. And these shots were huge - easily doubles at most bars. Maybe triples. I'm not sure, as I've never been to good at measurements...Anyway, this lady had a bit of a mustache issue. Which is cool and all, I have no problem with that. Except I found it really distracting to try and focus on the TOSU game while this woman and her mustache were swigging back Jameson at an alarming rate. Eventually this lady won like $72 playing Keno. She decided to share her winnings with me and some other dude who had the misfortune of sitting on the other side of her. Yes, you guessed it, she ordered enormous shots of Jameson. Over about an hour period I had 3 of them. And that wasn't the wisest thing I've ever done. I realized I needed to get out of that dive bar just after the game ended. And I did. I know my limits. But before I took off, I asked this old mustachioed gal how in the world she was gonna get home after like 6 or 7 of these at least double shots of Jameson. She said she lived with her mother and it was within walking distance of the bar. I was relieved that she would be able to walk home. But I was also surprised to hear that such an aged person lived with their mother. Out of curiosity I asked her how old her mother was. She informed that her mother was 98. I pegged the drunk I was chatting with to be 67 at the very least. At that point I raced out of the terrible place. Everything ended up okay. I got back home safe and TOSU pulled out a 10 point win over the Iowa Hawkeyes. I don't anticipate heading back to that bar any time soon. Damn Jameson and old women with mustaches...

Alright, Arsenal has a huge Champions League match with Dortmund here in about 45 minutes. I'm out.

Pretty Persuasion