Gay Marriage Comes To Maryland

Dudes, like these portly fellows, can now tie the knot in MD

It's 2013. And somehow I've survived to see it (at least the first few days). The big story that has caught my attention so far is that in the state of Maryland gay folks can get hitched legally now. Many trivia players around the Baltimore area are no doubt thrilled with this development. It may be a little known fact outside the dark world of team trivia, but for those of us who've visited the assorted venues where these trivia games are contested over the years, we know that gay trivia players are common. Hell, there have been several times at the Bananabees on Padonia in Luther Campbellville where I swear I had to be the only straight dude in the joint on a Friday at 9. What this new law means for the gay trivia players of Maryland is that instead of fighting over who gets the gift card after a hard fought showing where your team finishes in the money, now the gift card becomes community property between the gay couple (or should I say the gay husband and husband or gay wife and wife?). What's key about this change is that when a newly betrothed husband and husband or wife and wife call it quits and have to split up all their shit in a legal separation or divorce, the gift cards from trivia victories will have to be split evenly to each partner. It will certainly make for some interesting legal proceedings.

Speaking of legal proceedings and gay folks getting hitched then inevitably splitting like almost every straight couple does, I'm guessing the biggest winners in Maryland are, you guessed it, the lawyers. With all the new potential divorces that are sure to follow well-intended gay marriages, lawyers will be needed to fight for each husband or wife as the case may be. Attorneys will have exponentially more clients and make tons of dough off this new gay marriage deal. I guess that's a positive for them. At least someone wins in these doomed marriages. Damn lawyers - they probably bankrolled the whole movement to get gay marriage passed in the first place...

I also saw something on the old TV on Tuesday about taxes being raised. It looks like every paycheck will be a little thinner starting this month because the payroll tax is going up 2%. Now, 2% may not sound like much. I'll grant you that. But if you take home 5 grand a month for instance, that's $100 less you'll be seeing direct deposited into the old checking account each month. Remember all those promises Barry made about only increasing taxes on those hated and evil wealthy folks? Turns out, it was all jive, as I've been saying for years. And just wait until the taxes on the socialized medicine deal kick in next year. Good days are ahead for the American taxpayer. More and more dough going straight to DC. I can't wait.

I never did get around to typing some end of 2012 post the past week or whatever (too many bowl games, I guess). But I'll run through some TBFH awards as usual, if a little belatedly. As always if any of the winners wanna claim their prize for victory I'll be happy to get them a shot of the worst rot-gut whiskey or scotch in the bar.

Barfly of the Year - This is always a tough call. The usual suspects come to mind - Moose at Sloppys, Big Spiky Haired Chris, Michigan Molly, Daytime Lori, Jittery Falcon Fan, & the wine ladies at Stumbles. But this year I came across a new barfly several times at both Ass Traps and the old Wing Joint on Battleground. A woman named Teresa. This gal is in her mid 60's. She's dumpy looking. She sports a kind of semi-bob hairdo. She loves Duke. And she's a shameless drunken whore. What more could you possibly ask for in a barfly? I had the opportunity to speak with Teresa one night several weeks ago when she was in an incoherent drunken stupor at Ass Traps. Let's just say I was pressing her hard on the nature of her trim presentation. Teresa did not enjoy the conversation nearly as much as I did. That's for sure. I'm a little worried about Teresa though. I think she's close to getting banned from every damn bar up and down Battleground.

Game of the Year - I'm tempted to go with Spain over Italia in the Euro 2012 final - a 4 to nil thrashing. Or TOSU over Michigan. Or TOSU over Wisconsin (my biggest bet of the football season was on the Buckeyes that Saturday). But in the end, it's not a close call. Easily the game of the year took place right here in the Gate City back in March on a Friday night (it was the 16th if memory serves). Lehigh 75 Duke 70. What a great night to be alive. I'll never forget it. I was at Scams Lakeside at the time. I remember laughing and laughing and laughing, especially when all the Duke fans came pouring into the joint about 30 minutes after fleeing the Greensboro Coliseum in horror.

Celebrity Death of the Year - Easy call this year. Horshack from Welcome Back, Kotter died last August. He was terrible in the unwatchable 70's sitcom.

TV Star of the Year - It's got to be Honey Boo Boo. Alana Thompson is her birth name. But this year Alana took the whole country by storm on her terrible TLC program as Honey Boo Boo. I've seen several of the episodes of the show myself. I'm a huge fan of Honey Boo Boo's mother. She's 33, but looks 53. She's gotta weigh 350 pounds. And she's got lots of chins going for her. Honey Boo Boo herself is like 7 years old, but like her mother looks older and like her mother is headed for a life of obesity. My favorite episode of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is the one where Honey Boo Boo's daddy, a toothless man who goes by Sugar Bear, takes Honey Boo Boo to an arcade type place for an afternoon of fun. I couldn't understand a word the 2 of them said to each other the entire time. It was riveting.

Athlete of the Year - It has to be Rory Mcilroy. I've been hyping him on this blog virtually since its inception. And in 2012, Mcilroy was dominant. His greatest victory came at the PGA Championship in South Carolina last August, where he obliterated the deepest  field in golf by 8 shots.

I'm not gonna waste any time on bowl previews this time. I will try and get a BCS "Championship" preview up soon (at least before next Monday's kickoff), as that will be an epic battle of evil on evil - the Catholic Church vs Nick Saban.

As far as NFL Wild Card Weekend - Bengals +4&1/2, GB -7&1/2, Indy/Bal Over 46, & Washington if they are getting more than 2&1/2.