Friday, February 5, 2010

Who Fucking Dat


More snow here in the area this morning. One of the rotund local meteorologists was giving out accumulations around the western Piedmont when I heard him say this "Bud in Elkins is reporting that he's only got 3&1/2 inches." And, wow! I'm not sure why Bud decided to share this with viewers of WXII this morning, but I felt bad for the guy - only 3&1/2 inches. I bet Bud's a lonely man...




I saw Jalen Rose earlier on some awful program on ESPN2. He was really down on The Who playing halftime of the Super Bowl. I would have simply asked Jalen who Ed Martin would have preferred to see at halftime (I believe Martin died a number of years ago). That would have done the trick in shutting Jalen up pretty fast. Because U of M basketball players still don't like to talk about Ed Martin. Damn cheaters. As for me, many of you know my great affinity for Pete Townshend - he is one bad bad motherfucker. I'm not sure what Pete is gonna play Sunday. But I'm hoping he eschews the normal medley of hits that acts tend to play for the Super Bowl. Instead, I'd like to hear full length versions of Substitute, The Seeker, or Squeeze Box. But all of those are highly unlikely. The best we can hope for is Won't Get Fooled Again. And I hope Jalen Rose hates it.




When you start to really break down the game itself, I think it's important to consider both sides. Now last year I dismissed Pittsburgh out of hand. Other than my buddy Jeff and a few other reasonable folks here and there, Pittsburgh has almost nothing going for it. This year is a little different. You can make a case for Indy. They have 2 things going for them. One, is Peyton Manning (although Peyton is from NOLA, so really that should count against Indy). The other is much bigger, Kurt Vonnegut. Vonnegut was born in Indianapolis in 1922. Now, as all of you know, I've never read a book in my life. But, when listening in on literary conversations over the years, I developed a great fondness for Vonnegut. Billy Pilgrim & Montana Wildhack - those 2 alone are strong arguments in Indy's favor. And then when you throw in Kilgore Trout - well, it's almost not fair. And, Poo-tee-weet? That should seal everything in Indy's favor. But, as that failed old coach Lee Corso says - not so fast my friend.




Because, when you start talking NOLA, they've got more going for them than almost any city possibly could. One, voodoo. Voodoo freaks me out. Two, legalized prostitution. Storyville operated from 1891 until 1917 in NOLA (shut down because of the damn first world war). Three, Lil Wayne. I love his teeth. Four, Clarence Frogman Henry. He sounds like a frog. Five, Trent Reznor. Head Like A Hole. And six, the New Orleans Jazz and my man Pistol Pete Maravich. A true wizard. Now, all of the above is awesome, but not why Who Dat is the pick. Not even close.




The reason NOLA will cover the number (it will be at least 4&1/2) is simple. It's because of that damn hurricane that hit back in 2005. I remember seeing footage of the dogs left behind. And that depressed me beyond words. Many of the folks left the city in the aftermath of the storm and have never returned. And I'm not gonna get all political here today, but I've had a certain discussion with several residents of NOLA over the past couple years about folks not being able to come back and they do agree with me on this point - that for most of the folks who were displaced, it was the best thing for them. They lived for generations in squalor with an endless cycle of poverty and a horrible public education system. And that hurricane was a very strange blessing (or at the least, some kind of do-over) for folks seemingly forever trapped by the cruel accident of birth. And anyone who didn't feel for all the folks (pets included) from NOLA when that hurricane hit (even though, as I noted, it will end up helping a significant segment of the population in the long run by them being given a fresh start in a new city), you have no soul whatsoever. And as everyone knows, if there's one person who may not have a soul, it's me - and even I am pulling for the good folks of NOLA (wherever some of them may be living now). And I'm pulling hard. Hard. I promise you this, if Who Dat covers, I will be mildly pleased, obviously. But if Who Dat wins outright (and if they have the ball last, and are within 6 points, I like their chances), I will cry. No question in my mind about that.




Plus, I was in NOLA one time for some party called Mardi Gras (this was back in like 1990 or 1991). Well, I went into this bar called Pat O'Brien's and started to drink Hurricanes with some buddies of mine. And those will get you hammered. Shit faced hammered. The whole day was a bit of a blur to be honest. But I do slightly recall stumbling around after leaving the bar for a bit and getting flashed by dozens of girls. So that's something.




As far as the total on Sunday's game, I can't bet over at 56&1/2. No way. That's 8 touchdowns. It wouldn't surprise me to see the total go over 60, but I can't bet that.


Lastly, even though Britney Spears was not born in Louisiana, I know she grew up there. So,...


Black as your soul














No comments: