Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Giving Marital Advice To A Jacoby


I noticed that after a year or more of trying, Barry and his minions finally got this socialized health care deal passed, even though a vast majority of folks don't want it. In fact, it seems, if you believe polling (a dicey proposition, I admit), that the more people found out about the thing, and the more they heard Barry push it down their throats, the less popular it became. And I've written enough over the past year about why I'm totally opposed to this silly catastrophe. But, as I've also said before, elections do have consequences. And the fact that Barry and his boys in the Democrat Party won the past 2 election cycles in such huge numbers means we are getting exactly what we deserve. I know there is buyer's remorse at this point and Barry is wildly unpopular. None of that means anything. Some of you will recall that in a post early last year I had a feeling that at some point Barry might turn all Emporer Palpatine on us, and I was prescient, yet again. I don't want to be too harsh on the guy, as I'm guessing he might actually believe that this mess that is going to be unleashed on the country is a good thing. But that doesn't change the fact that the guy is acting as a tyrant, just like George III, Abraham Lincoln, FDR, or even Louis the 16th. Alas America, when you vote for a tyrant, you get a tyrant...The whole thing depresses me. And as for the anemic and pitiful Republican Party, I'm glad Ronald Wilson Reagan is not around to witness your helpless ineptitude. The GOP should be ashamed of themselves. Ashamed.


I've noticed some comments on this blog that were left recently on some older posts. And as always, comment away. Totally cool with me. Even a Duke fan has been leaving comments. And it proves that there might be hope yet for Duke fans, as at least one of them does have a sense of humor (proven by being a regular reader of this blog). If this Duke fan commenter could just convince other Duke fans to quit being so damn holier than thou and to lighten up a little, the world would be a slightly better place. Also someone left a comment wondering where Amy Teske might have ended up (and the commenter is correct, I'm certain she is still very bright...). And I can't say for certain, but last I heard, she was married, living near St Louis, and working as some type of engineer. I'm sure she's fine. And I'm guessing her husband is a great guy -but slightly passive and submissive - just a hunch. Believe me, I know the girl pretty well; even though I haven't laid eyes on her in 20 years. I'm guessing I still know her better than anyone else alive. Okay, I'm getting slightly depressed again. That's 2 paragraphs in a row...


I was out at Wreck Room Patio one night last week with Andy, Ross, Beck, etc. - and some of my favorite people showed up - The Jacobys. And I always enjoy talking to any of the Jacobys. Anyway, there was an engaged girl Jacoby out, she is getting married later this year I think. I was slightly in the bag (shocking!) and asked her if the couple was having premarital relations. And the girl (I believe her name was Jen) informed that they were waiting til marriage before having sex. And this might have been a mistake on my part, but I got into a long conversation with the girl trying to convince her what a horrible mistake that was - a noble thought, but awful in reality. The basic gist of my argument was that if things aren't really clicking physically with your spouse, then the marriage will be a tense mess all the time, neither person will be happy, and the whole thing will end badly. Jen Jacoby didn't seem to agree with me. And I respect her opinion. And I hope this nice couple do not have problems connecting physically once married. I really do. But I stand by what I told her. Of course, at one point, Ross or Andy or somebody (I was pretty tanked as I mentioned) asked what right I had to give any advice about marriage at all. And that is a good point. I probably don't. Except I've seen marriages go really bad and I wouldn't want that for any Jacoby.


Also, the Lonely Russian Jacoby was out as well. And I don't remember anything I said to him (perhaps Mark or Luke could refresh me on that). But my foggy, inhibited by drinking for hours on end (did I mention I was hammered?), poor recollection is that he's as lonely as ever. The poor kid. It was good to see him though. I will say that the kid needs to shave. I mean it's one thing for me to walk around with a week's worth of stubble, but on the Lonely Russian Jacoby, it just makes him look homeless and scary to American babes.


Ross and I crashed in Geilfuss's basement last Thursday night. And when we woke up about 10 the next morning, we noticed a wet spot on the tile near the basement door. Well, after Ross took off (Andy had come by to scoop him and take him back out to Cecil Fielder County), Geilfuss asked me the possible origin of the mysterious wet spot on the tile. And I didn't have much of an idea. But I did say this, "Geilfuss, if you'll let me speculate for a moment, it could be vaginal juice from some skank you've had over here recently and the 2 of you couldn't wait to get to one of the couches before going at it." Geilfuss said "Could be, you make a point."


I was walking around the Food Slug earlier today (buying 40's and potted meat, obviously). This big gal asks me, "Do you ever hang out at that wing joint on Battleground?" I answered, "From time to time, yes." She said, "Me and my husband met you in there one night and you were screaming about how awful a Led Zeppelin song was that was playing on the sound system." I replied, "Seems about right."


Santayana, goodbye




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