Thursday, February 5, 2009

The Guy Who Writes Movie Reviews In Chicago


I was at the Ramada again last night and this trivia game breaks out - as usual on Wednesday. The woman with the putrid breath was in there for some reason and they had a Mentos machine put in recently. So, Andy and Dave each gave me a quarter to get Mentos. And for 50 cents you get 4 of them. So the putrid breath woman was sitting about 15 feet away from me with a really ugly friend of hers. I started tossing a Mentos in their direction every so often. Putrid Breath woman never did get the hint. Instead she kept staring over at me with this trying to be seductive smile. So I started to speculate on the color of her yeast infections and how far to her knees her pubic hairs hung. Beck and Andy were pretty disgusted with my comments (although they're used to them), but Dave couldn't quit saying to me "Has anyone told you yet today?" "Go ahead Dave." "Go fuck yourself." I didn't of course. It wouldn't have been prudent at that juncture.


There was an interesting question during the trivia game about what the White House was called before the War of 1812. I had no clue, but I guessed Jefferson's Slave Raping House. I was way off. There was another one about the first interracial kiss on network TV and the lady running the thing (Boobie) said it was Star Trak (not Trek, Trak). I guessed Matlock because I recall an episode where that communist Andy Griffith goes at it pretty hard with the black dude who played the private investigator. We won the game anyway. They asked Marilyn Monroe questions at one point - too easy.


There is one trivia game company that is doing some promotional thing with a local radio station. And the guy who runs the company is in way over his head - he keeps losing venues every few months. I haven't seen him since before Christmas, but when I do again I'm gonna suggest he hire strippers to read the questions - midget strippers would be preferable - midget lesbian strippers would be awesome.


I was reading movie reviews on some website run by some guy from Chicago. And this whole website is about marching bands and ugly cheerleaders in Illinois and the guy who runs it is fixated on stuff like what makes a rabbit move its legs and punnett squares for some reason. Well he wrote a review of a movie called Inkfart, and after reading it, I had no idea what the movie was about, whether the reviewer liked it or not, and was generally disoriented. I need to see this movie then go reread the review to see if it makes sense then - I'm guessing it still won't. I would link you to his site, but it's designed for teens and I have a feeling the FBI monitors who visits the site and investigates if they are pedophiles. So stay away,- unless you're a pedophile, then by all means, go ahead.


I saw that interview that Barack Hussein Obama did with a guy on the news the other night and he said he "was screwing it up." And I wondered if Barry knows John L. Smith? And if he doesn't, then he shouldn't steal the guy's catch phrase. (Note: see post about 27 things you must see before you die- it was in mid-December I believe)


I saw that Carol Alt was in Playboy recently and she still looks hot. Mind-numbingly hot.
Get Back Motherfucker-TBFH

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