Friday, February 27, 2009

Taking a Cue From Darth Sidious


There are these guys who work on my floor (not too many folks work on the floor - only like 12 or 13 -although about 400 folks work in the building I think) and these guys are from somewhere on the Indian subcontinent (they work with IT - obviously). And they don't shut the door to the men's room when they use it. About a dozen times the past year and a half, I've walked over to the men's room and the door is wide open and one of them is standing there pissing and they look up and give some goofy looking grin. I walk away as quickly as possible. My friend Paul, who sits in the cubicle next to me, has walked in the men's room when one of them is in a stall taking a dump and left the door wide open (the door to the men's room, not the door to the stall - they aren't that gross.) Well, on 2nd thought...earlier this week Paul told me this story - he's over near the men's room and one of these Indian subcontinent guys is coming out of the stall, doesn't wash his hands, walks through the opened door, and then shuts it as he walks away. I don't know what it is with these dudes. I have considered putting some kind of sign up or something letting these dudes know about bathroom etiquette in The United States - but have never done it. I secretly fear that the Indian subcontinent dudes know full well what they're doing and go out for beers after work and laugh about how uncomfortable they make the 4 American guys who work on the floor with this restroom behavior. I never really speak to them. They seem nice enough I guess - they always kind of smile when you pass their work area - but for the life of me I can't understand what they're saying. What with the thick accents and the technology talk - I'm at a total loss.


The place I work was recently named #1 in the entire country for what we do (and I have no idea how that could possibly be or how whoever did the rankings decided who is #1 - I never read the email about it). Anyway, the lady who runs the whole operation here was quite proud of this. So she had these signs made up with red backgrounds that say #1 on them in white. Some support person brought by about 5 of them for us to put in the windows on our floor so passersby could see them. So they left one of these #1 signs in my cubicle and I found it one morning. Now remember that where I sit there is a window about 4 feet away. Only it looks out on another building (empty - an eyesore of urban blight) across a back alley. So the only people who would see this #1 sign are people hanging out in this back alley. And here are the people I have run into in that back alley - hookers, hobos, drug addicts, people screaming about the Lord, guys pissing, and a few random people sneaking a smoke. So, I put up that #1 sign in the window that overlooks this alley with tremendous pride. Now all the hookers, hobos, drug addicts, people who scream about the Lord, alley pissers, and random smokers know that we are #1. Damn right! Come get some of this!


I was out for a brief while at Charred Pork Bucket after work yesterday and Bob was at the jukebox picking just awful songs as always (several Jeffrey Osborne tunes - you know, the Woo Woo Woo crap). Anyway, I said "Bob, my man, could you put on the Circle Jerks for me?" He said "What?' I said "The Golden Shower of Hits." He only said "Fuck You." That didn't leave me with the impression that Bob is familiar with the Circle Jerks.


Later at Patrick Bateman's there was some trivia game that broke out. And I will show up and play trivia from time to time. It passes the time. So, this question comes up about movies that both Chevy Chase and Danny Akroyd have been in. At one point I turned to Dan and Andy and offered this title "A Threesome With Donna Dixon?" We sucked - 3rd place.


Barack Hussein Obama evidently released some kind of budget proposal yesterday. And I'm not an economist or very bright for that matter, but it seems like old Barry operates the same way that Lord Palpatine does in those movies with that girl from Jerusalem. In fact, I'm considering calling old Barry Darth Sidious Hussein Obama from here on out. Maybe Barry will force Hayden Christensen to go down on Oprah at some point. And if they make a video of such a tryst, I would like Chevy Chase and Danny Akroyd to make appearances in it - because that might help me at trivia somewhere down the line.


I should be out at the Banabee's this evening for another Friday of stupidity. I'm also considering some other options for before and after. I'm guessing things could get dicey.


Get Back Loretta -TBFH





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