The Charred Pork Bucket on Monday nights really encapsulates what Hobbes was always talking about - man is wolf to every other man. They have a trivia game and a poker tournament going on at the same time. The poker losers don't play for money - they play for something less tangible - they should play to see who will get to leave with their dignity intact. If you want to play poker - that's cool, but if you play poker where no money is changing hands - that's retarded. As far as the trivia goes, they are the ugliest group of people you will ever see in one place at one time. Frightening.
This trivia question comes up about what west coast state was the 31st admitted to the union. So, Andy and I are running the states down as best we can trying to eliminate the most recent 19 that got in. And the old drunk guy is sitting across from us - so we're mentioning lots of states. Andy would say "Oklahoma." I'd say "like 1911." And the old drunk guy would yell "That's not a west coast state." Andy would say "New Mexico." I'd say "Around 1913." And the old drunk guy screamed "That's not a west coast state." Finally, I say to Andy "Would you tell him to quit insulting us by telling us what states aren't on the west coast?" So Andy says "Dick, we're working on the answer in a different way." And the old drunk guy rubs his face, looks down, sips his scotch, and says "Who gives a fuck."
Another question came up about the 4 highest grossing films of the past 12 years with either the word bride or wedding in the title. So, I'm running the movies in my head and Andy has his list going and we're a minute from conferring and coming up with answers. Then Dave says "Father of the Bride." I say "That's 1991." Dave says "Father of the Bride 2." I say "That movie is from 95." Then he says "What about Father of the Bride 5?" You gotta hand it to Dave - he does have a really good sense of humor. We got all of them right anyway.
I was perusing the world wide web of deceit recently and noticed a site called The Huffington Post. I don't have any idea what the site is supposed to be about, but there wasn't anything on there about huffing paint. I was really disappointed.
I also saw a picture of this old Kenyan woman who is supposed to be Barack Hussein Obama's grandmother. And she was really ugly. Putrid.
I wandered into a bar one time and they had these machines where you could predict the plays during Monday Night Football. So I played it because Ernie Zampese was the Dallas Offensive Coordinator at the time. And he was a genius (he would chain smoke up in the press box during the game) - anyway I'm predicting almost every call that Zampese is making. And I'm winning this stupid game. So the name I played under was Dan Quayle. And this one guy was getting a little upset that he wasn't winning. So about halfway through the 3rd quarter this guy yells over to me "Who are you?" And I said "Dan Fucking Quayle." I'm a pretty easy going person, but don't get me riled up about Dan Quayle, because I will mock someone endlessly if they say anything bad about him. And this guy who I was beating at the stupid play predicting game - he got mocked endlessly the rest of the game. Endlessly. Dallas crushed the Eagles 34-12 if I remember correctly.
I was on a date one time with Amy Teske and we were sitting in the movie theater at the Continent and we were watching Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. This was December 1987. And so it gets to be about an hour into the movie and then I looked over at her and she looked over at me - and we both smiled.
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