I was sitting near Jason's Drunk Roommate (although to be up to date and accurate, they are not roommates any longer) last night for just about an hour at Get Bent Lounge and the guy has problems remembering my name. I've probably told him my name a half dozen times over the past 6 months, so he should remember it by now. I'm not upset or offended that the guy can't remember my name, but I've decided to not tell him anymore. When Jason's Drunk Roommate asked my name again last night, I said "Frank, that's it. I'm not telling you my name anymore." And Jason's Drunk Roommate said "That's OK. I don't care anyway." So I said "Why did you ask then?" Later, Roland asked Jason's Drunk Roommate what kind of position he'd be interested in accepting at Get Bent Lounge. I said "Doggy style Roland. He wants to accept a doggy style position." Jason's Drunk Roommate got a little offended by that and started on a 5 minute homophobic rant. I only mention it because he kept mispronouncing homosexual - he kept pronouncing it "homer sexual." I stopped him at one point and said "Frank, just use the term butt cowboy for Christ's sake."
I ran into a guy who was wearing a t-shirt that had 2 faces on it. The faces were of Barack Hussein Obama and Dr. King. I asked the dude wearing the t-shirt if Dr. King was Barack Hussein Obama's father. He said "That not be possible bro. Dr. King be dead when my messiahs was borned." I said "Hmmm...I might be wrong on this, but I believe Barack Hussein Obama was born in 1961. And I also believe that Dr. King was alive until April 4, 1968 - at least according to that U2 song from The Unforgettable Fire." The dude wearing the t-shirt seemed slightly taken aback and utterly befuddled to be frank (not Jason's Drunk Roommate Frank). So, he kinda said something along these lines "What makes ya says that Dr. King might be my messiahs daddy?" I said "Well, if you believe that cross dresser J Edgar Hoover, he liked to fuck white women, didn't he?"
I saw where Joe Biden got all raged up on boner medication at a meeting with the Geriatric Nazi's yesterday and made an astonishingly stupid statement, even for him. Joe told the old folks that the only way to keep the US from going bankrupt was to keep spending more and more money. And I wondered if the old people in attendance at this staged and fake event, an event put on by the the Geriatric Nazi's, mocked him for such a laughably moronic statement. But apparently no one laughed or even batted an eye at him. Instead, all the old ladies in the place were evidently staring so hard and longingly at Joe Biden's massively erect, boner medicated penis that they weren't paying attention to a word he said. I'm sure there were some fine looking blue haired women in the audience who old Joe would have been happy to apply his massively erect, boner medicated penis on for four hours (at which point they'd have to rush him to the hospital from priapism).
I was talking to Keith the other night outside of the Turquoise Terrapin during halftime of the trivia game and he mentioned that the old skanks in Catonsville have been all over him recently. The interesting thing is Keith said he was contemplating turning some of these old skanks on to my blog, but was reluctant to do so, because I'd mentioned on this very blog that he runs into lots of old skanks in Catonsville. I said "That's a classic Catch-22 right there Keith." And it really is, because if the old skanks in Catonsville read this blog and see that I, and by extension Keith, refer to them as old skanks from Catonsville, then the old skanks from Catonsville might be much less likely to be skanky for Keith. Although my advice for Keith was to go ahead and give the old skanks from Catonsville this blog's address, because skanks generally don't modify their skanky behavior simply because someone like me calls them a skank. Skanks will tend to stay skanky no matter what - it's why they're called skanks.
Out at that Grasshopper's game I mentioned last week I saw something that I feel compelled to share. In the bottom of the 3rd and 7th innings the Hoppers have this dog come out (her name is Miss Babe Ruth) and sit with her trainer right by the home dugout. After an at bat ends, what happens is that Miss Babe Ruth goes over to where the bat is lying on the ground and picks it up and brings it back to her trainer who then gives it to one of the ball boys. It is awesome to watch. Granted, if you don't like dogs, then it may not be all that exciting. But, me personally, I like dogs way more than people - so I found it really cool to watch Miss Babe Ruth retrieve the bats. The other thing they do with her is after the game, they bring her and another dog (who I think might be her brother) out and they shoot tennis balls into the outfield and Miss Babe Ruth and her brother race after them and bring them back to home plate. The funny thing was that last Wednesday when the first tennis ball was fired into the outfield, Miss Babe Ruth stopped racing after it just by the pitcher's mound. Her brother was flying out toward left field to retrieve the tennis ball, but Miss Babe Ruth stopped and took a dump. It was pretty amusing.
Babylon sisters....shake it.
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