I was sitting at some pretty awful place last night, playing trivia with Geilfuss and this question comes up about some sports trophy given to the best rookie in whatever sport. We had no idea what the answer was. So a minute passed and then Geilfuss said "Fisting?" I said "Not sure I'd really label fisting a sport per se, but I got nothing better." Geilfuss said "No, not fisting. Fishing." I said "Dude, I like fisting as the answer way more than fishing." Geilfuss said "OK. Sounds good enough to me." Geilfuss is never hard to convince (about almost anything). But I explained further "Think about it. All you do when fishing is toss your rod into a lake or river, crack open a beer, and wait - not much activity there. While fisting - that's much more involved and requires much greater physical exertion and mental toughness. I mean just the messiness factor alone - you know, you've got vaginal juices all over your hand and all the way up to your wrist Geilfuss." He said "Alright. You make a good point there. We'll go with it as the answer." Then Geilfuss got up to take the answer slip to the girl running the game and just before he was about to turn it in, I yelled "GEILFUSS!!! WAIT!!!" He stopped and turned back toward me and yelled to me (over about 15 patrons) "You wanna change it?" And I said "YES!!! We need to add a word before fisting to get the answer right." Geilfuss screamed over to me "What word do you want to add to the answer before FISTING?" Lots of barflies were listening to us yelling at each other at this point and I said, really loudly "Before FISTING, add the word ANAL."
I saw on the Faceshit yesterday that the guy who writes movie reviews in Chicago was lamenting the fact that so many Faceshit users write these quizzes that have horrible typos and grammatical errors and whatnot. So, I muttered to myself "Damn Paul, what do you expect?" And then I did something I rarely do, I left a comment after his mindless musing about the poor quality of the writing in Faceshit quizzes. And here is the comment I left: Eye thanks theys has so man typos becauz them peoples whose rights thems be morons.
Gramma Dave left a comment on the previous blog entry about getting pulled over by the cops in Virginia. And he claims they pulled him over for speeding. Well, while I don't doubt for one second Gramma Dave was in fact speeding when the Virgina law people pulled him over, I think that the real reason the Virginia law people pulled him over was this: they probably didn't appreciate all the communist bumper stickers affixed to his Volvo. In Maryland, communists are everywhere and law enforcement doesn't bat an eye when they see some hippie looking, skirt wearing dude cruising around in his Volvo while proclaiming to the world via bumper stickers to DON"T BLAME FRODO, BUSH STOLE THE RING and other nonsense, but in Virginia they don't cotton, so to speak, to that kind of ridiculous communist drivel. So, I'm guessing that the Virgina law people wanted to be sure that Gramma Dave got some comeuppance for so publicly expressing his way out of the mainstream kooky political beliefs, they just decided to give Gramma Dave his comeuppance under the guise of a speeding ticket.
I saw where Barack Hussein Obama was chatting with Willie Mays the other day on some kind of aircraft (maybe a dirigible???). Anyway, the TV channel (ESPN I believe) was printing what old Barry was saying to Willie Mays at the bottom of the screen. And old Barry was going on about how Willie Mays paved the way for old Barry to be our fake leader for awhile. I believe at one point old Barry said "You really did a lot for all of us African Americans." And I didn't think much of it, but then Willie Mays said something back to old Barry. Now, I'm not sure exactly what it was, as ESPN wasn't printing out what Willie Mays said at the bottom of the screen (I guess that's the price you pay for merely being one of the ten best ballplayers of all time, as opposed to being the world's messiah), but I do read lips a little bit (I was deaf briefly as a child) and I believe this is what Willie Mays said in reply to Barack Hussein Obama's assertion that Willie paved the way for old Barry to be the 1st African American fake leader of our once great country: "Isn't you mother a white woman dude?"
Big Adam came out to Get Bent Lounge last night and he was hammered. I mean he was slurring his words and getting super sweaty and he kept running his hand over his brow to wipe away the sweat. Well, this blonde (just in from Virginia as it turns out) comes in at one point and sits down next to Big Adam. And this Virginia blonde was hammered too. So, the 2 of them are chatting away for around a 1/2 hour or so. I didn't think much of it to be honest. Then Big Adam calls me down to where he and this hammered Virginian blonde are sitting and hands me a shot to do with the 2 of them and George. After we finished the shots, Big Adam walked back to the men's room and the hammered Virginia blonde said to me "He's gonna get me a job making $20 an hour." I said "That's highly unlikely blondie." She said "Why?" I said "Unless he's gonna pay you 20 bucks and hour to fuck him, I don't see it happening." The hammered Virginia blonde said "Gross. I'd never fuck him for $20 an hour." I said "How about a million? Would you fuck Big Adam for a million?" And the hammered Virgina blonde thought for a few seconds and said "Well, for a million I would. Yes." And then I said "So, we've established you're a whore. Now we're just haggling over price. Is that right?"
Local boys will spend a quarter
Just to shine the silver bowl
Living hard will take its toll
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