Billy Is Not Amused

I was just sitting here and went back and looked in on some posts from this blog that were written in March 2009, and I gotta say - I think they are much better than the crap I've been coming up with here recently. I'm regressing as a blogger...

Also, I was much more prolific back 2 years ago. Maybe I had more energy. I have no idea.

To that end, I'm gonna try and do better and post slightly more often. It's worth a shot, and most importantly, it passes the time.

I was out last night at Wing Joint and it was my dear friend Dave's last night attempting to tend the bar - he's headed to Afghanistan here at some point. And not for a vacation, I might add. I'm sure he'll be fine over there. The kid can take care of himself. Anyway, I wondered into the bar and my friend Phil is in there, without his wife (which was disappointing, as I enjoy talking to her - she's a smart girl). So, I'm standing there talking to Phil and this woman who is engaged to an Italian man. I kept asking her if her fiance was named Vito. She got sick of that pretty quick. We were playing the old Buzztime trivia. And a guy I've mentioned in the past on this blog was in there - Billy, toothless Billy. Only Billy has teeth now. He really does. It's amazing. Billy was sitting a few bar stools over from me and Billy loves to play the trivia. He's addicted to it. Billy has like 20 million member points on the game. As a few of you might recall, I'm not the biggest Billy fan in the world. I slightly despise the guy. As a result of my unfounded dislike for Billy, I started mocking him. Badly. Billy really prides himself on being a trivia ace and I really wanted to ruin his evening. So I basically hijacked the girl who is betrothed to the Italian guy's trivia machine just to kick Billy's ass at his beloved trivia. And it worked. When I'm motivated, I'm very difficult to beat. I'm also difficult to beat when I could care less...But...Back to Billy, he started to get so angry at me and my childish comments about his gut, the book he had with him at the bar, the fact he was drinking tea instead of beer, and that he couldn't beat us at trivia (they were asking questions about Friends at one point - too easy), that he moved down the bar about 15 feet to get away from me. The girl who is about to move to Italy wasn't sure if I was amusing or the biggest asshole she'd ever met. I informed her that those traits aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. She laughed. By 10 or so, the bar was packed and I was drunk and trivia started to bore me to tears. Luckily, Brandon came in and we talked a little hoops and gambling to pass the time. Then my favorite person who stumbles into the bar from time to time came in. And that was pleasant. We had an enlightening conversation. I should have eaten something, because I'm slightly foggy on what time I left. All I know is that I woke up at 10 this morning and proceeded to guzzle about a gallon of water. That's always great. Good times.

Huge day today in the college hoops world, as over in Chapel Hill the Heels are gonna take on those pesky Devils from Durham. I already sent Brandon a note to take the Heels -1. They should be as motivated as humanly possible for this game.

Speaking of college hoops, the ACC ladies are in town for their annual tournament right now. I have zero interest in it as always. But it is worth noting that the other night (Thursday) I was flipping the old TV channels and came across highlights of that day's action at the Greensboro Coliseum. And I'm not sure who was playing who, but I can report that no one was there to witness it. Seriously, there couldn't have been more than 500 people there - in a building that seats over 20,000. The ACC and the Gate City must take a complete bath on this tournament. Instead of playing it at the Coliseum, they should hold it at a high school gym or the local YMCA. If they held it at the Y, the teams could go shirts and skins. And from what I've seen of lady ballers, I don't think the skins team would be much fun to watch. Lots of flabby guts, hairy pits, massive areola, and little hairs protruding out of said areola. I'm sure someone gets down like that. Alas, not I...

I was out, ever so briefly, at Sloppy Seconds early last night, and this middle-aged balding brother was in there drinking Red Stripe. He was chatting with a white couple to his right. I was to his left. At one point the balding brother noted his wife was overseas. I chimed in and said, "Guantanamo?" None of the 3 of them laughed.

Remember what Jay Z said - If Jesus is payin' Lebron, I'm payin' Dwyane Wade