The 3 Amigos Nightmare

I was back at Henry Hudson Grille last night for another spirited bout of trivia and it was pretty eventful - for once. I was supposed to meet old Danny and a client he was out with over there at 8. So, I walk in right at 8 and can't find Danny in there. And those people from last week are there and have a seat saved for me and I'll be damned, I sat down with them. And that was a mistake. There was one guy and two ladies on the team - they called themselves 3 Amigos - the other guy from last week was out of town evidently. So, 2 questions pass and I'm getting a little agitated just having to talk to these folks - then, and Thank God, Danny and his client (a very nice and attractive woman) show up . So, I moved to the bar with them - and we were right behind the 3 Amigos - so we could give answers to them but not have to converse with them. But, it didn't work out that way. I went over and told them the answer after every question - and there were only 2 all night I wasn't certain of. But these people gave me so much grief with the "Are you sure?" And "Have you thought about ______?" At the halftime, there was a question about the National Football League - 4 correct answers and I ripped them off in about 10 seconds (it was about coaches who have won at least 3 Super Bowls). And the guy running the game gave two songs to answer - about 10 minutes because he used a long Doors song as one. And I'll be damned if this 3 Amigos guy didn't come back over to me half a dozen times with the "Are you sure?" It was making me crazy. Then a question comes up about airplanes and it just so happens that Danny's client is a pilot. And the 3 Amigos start to disagree with a pilot on an airplane question. I stayed out of that one. So, this goes on and on and on. Finally, we get to the last question - we were winning by 1 pt. It is this: Which of these 4 movies went longest between when the original was released and the 1st sequel? Last Picture Show, The Hustler, The Odd Couple, The Sting. So, I got a napkin out and showed my work to the 3 Amigo guy - to avoid any 2nd guessing. I literally wrote out the year each movie was released, the year the sequel was released and then DID THE MATH for the 3 Amigos on top of that. So, I take it over to them and say "Here. Go Odd Couple - all in. I'm 100% - and here is my proof (I felt like I was doing a calculus question for these 3 Amigo people). And then the guy from 3 Amigos spends at least 7 minutes wanting to debate with me - not about the answer, because he had no clue- but about how there is no way I could be sure. And that really pissed me off and I'm such an easy going person - I just wanna hang out and have a couple beers. So, the 3 Amigos keep asking if it is ok to bet zero. And I said "Dude - I laid it out for you in black and white - I'm certain I'm right." And eventually he did take up the answer with the all in bet. And we won going away - by 10 points. If we had bet zero, we would have come in 2nd. So, and here is the coup de grace - I say to Danny "Do you think they will even offer the gift card to us? We'll turn it down of course, but the decent thing would be to offer - because I'm not friends with these people and without me, they would have had about 25 less points." And Danny says "These tools. No, they won't even offer the gift card." And I'll be damned - what they did is worse than not offering the gift card at all. The guy comes over and hands me $10. I swear to you. He says "Here's your share." We left pretty quickly thereafter. Unbelievable. I swear I'm gonna go in there every Wed from now until I leave here and drill them at trivia every last week. Drill them.

Later Danny and I were out at Royal Soak - for just like an hour. And this redhead comes over to Danny and introduces herself as Elizabitch. Really. And she starts going on about how old Danny won't have a drink with her or something. I was trying to watch the Mavs game (thank you Dallas - they crushed the Jazz) and wasn't paying close attention to her. But she sounded to me like she was from Jersey and she claimed to be from some small Georgia town that's out near the Alabama border. She was really giving old Danny a hard time - she really wanted to go home with him and she was a bitch, slapped him a couple of times, and was generally giving him the business as Ron Cherry would say. So, right before old Danny took off, he excused himself for a minute and this Elizabitch woman says to me "What's wrong with him?" And nothing is as far as I can tell. But I said "Oh, he's intimidated by redheaded Jersey whores who pretend to be southern belles." And she laughed. So, at least she had a sense of humor. They took off a little after midnight together. I got a text from Danny a little while later and he was at her place and the text said - I think she might be crazy. I hope the kid is alright.

I just saw where Larry Mize shot 67 at the Masters today. And that might be the most amazing thing in the history of sports. Seriously.

Also, this thing with these pirates that's all over the news - why don't we just send some Captain Morgan over to them? Wouldn't that clear everything up? And who are these pirates - the homeless guys from the Seinfeld episode who got stuck with those puffy shirts that were designed by that low talker Kramer was dating? Are those the pirates? Because, I think Rich Hall played one of them and he did those sniglet things back in the 80s and I never found him to be remotely funny and if he's over off the coast of Somailia taking people hostage and making them listen to his sniglet jokes - wow, I'd rather walk the plank myself. Aaarggghhhh Matey!!!

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. - TBFH

PS -I am in no way implying that Elisabeth Shue is a bitch - she is simply the hottest Elisabeth I could think of today. - Peace.