I was over at the food court in this mall earlier today, and as I'm wandering around and wondering what to eat, this woman at a kiosk asks me if I'd like to try some tea. And I said "Iced?" And she said "It's homeopathic." And I said "Do I look gay?"
I was on a call here a bit ago and the call was pretty pointless. It's supposed to be about work and how the folks here in Atlanta are progressing with this project I'm here overseeing. But the call degenerated into mindless chit-chat (as it often does). So, I'm barely paying attention as the ladies on the call are going on about some restaurant or something and then finally one of them asks me if I'd ever eaten at the place. And I have been in the place and actually wrote about the experience on this blog (find a post about the Bongwater Cafe from December). And my response to the question was "Isn't that the place they serve the homeopathic tea?" Nobody laughed. But I amused myself at least. Later in response to a question about how it was going here in the office, I said "Well, there are people here. So that's good." At least one of the ladies laughed at that one.
Barack Hussein Obama was at some conference in Trinidad and Tobago recently and he buddied up to this ruthless communist dictator (I think the cat's name is Chavez). And I have no idea what the conference was supposed to accomplish, but I do wonder about the message old Barry is sending by hugging a ruthless communist dictator. Maybe this dictator has some dirt on Barry. I'm not sure. But maybe this dictator has photos of old Barry in bed with a dead girl or a live boy. I can't imagine why else Barry would hug a dictator who despises our country like this Chavez cat.
Also at this conference in Trinidad and Tobago was a guy who gave a 50 minute speech raging against the US. And old Barry just sat there politely and never even had the balls to question what this dude was saying. The more cynical folks among us might wonder if Barry shares this guy's views - maybe Barry is sympathetic to hatred of our country. I sure hope not, but it does make you wonder. Old W sure wouldn't have put up with that crap (And say what you will about old W, but he never tolerated, and by extension endorsed, these crazy dictators who can't seem to do anything better than blame the US for all their problems). The news - it's nauseating. And I make a pointed effort to pay as little attention to the news as possible. I can only ponder how crazy old Barry must be making people who actually follow things closely. Poor bastards. Me, I try and stick to sports.
I was out Friday at the Henry Hudson Grille again and they put the O's on one TV and the Reds on one next to it. So, I was just sitting there minding my own business and trying to enjoy this baseball as best I could and then these 3 women walk in and sit down to my right. And the one to my immediate right was hammered. And she was pitiful. She kept asking me really annoying questions. And after I'd come back inside after smoking she said "What if I slipped something into your drink?" (Oh, she was middle eastern and not very attractive - chubby - so keep that in mind). And I said "What if you did?" And she replied, in her fairly thick middle eastern accent, "I could have my way with you and you wouldn't remember." And I said "If you are gonna have your way with me, there is no way I want to remember." And she said "You're funny. And cute." And I'm not either thing, believe me. And this went on with this middle eastern woman for like 2 hours. Finally she and her friends left. And as they were getting ready to take off, one of them asked "Do you hang out here often?" And I said "Well, I'll tell you what. If it means running into this middle eastern woman again, then I'm never coming in here again." She said "No, it will just be me." And I thought - Why the hell would you let me be tortured for 2 hours by this friend and then ask me out. But I said "I think you should come in here every day and sit for 2 hours while I send swarthy, poorly spoken men in here to annoy you. That would make things even." And she didn't like what I said at all. She left pretty quickly. Me, I had another beer and watched the Reds come from behind with a 9th inning 2 run homer to beat the Astros. Then I went over to that dive bar and I'll be damned but another strange girl started talking to me. This one was much better looking but after about 3 minutes of hearing about her 21 month old son, her ex-husband, and the fact that her boss hadn't got her check to her on time, I said "You know what? There is really no point in even continuing this. There is no way I would ever consider getting involved with you. So, good luck to you and save the story for someone desperate and who might be a nice guy." Me, I'm not desperate (not even close) and I'm a horrible person. This girl started to tear up a little and I said "Damn. That's it for me." And as I started to walk out, she said "Wait. I'm still lactating and I don't know if you get freaky like that. But if you do or you want to, I'd love to make it happen." And that's a little gross. I don't get freaky like that. So I said "Well hell, I wish you'd said that up front. That changes everything. You have no idea how much that turns me on." She said "Oh good. Let me get my things together and we'll go." And at that moment I knew things were gonna turn extra bad for the night. And I wasn't wrong about that.
Saturday was much better (thank you Houston Rockets and both the Cavs and Pistons for scoring over 175 combined). I was back at Henry Hudson Grille and one of the guys who is working here in Atlanta stopped in (he's in from San Antonio and of course he's a big Spurs fan - all of the folks in San Antonio are big Spurs fans). And this guy is a pretty good guy - his name is Curtis. And he gets there just after halftime of the Mavs/Spurs game and this was right as the Mavs started to roll the Spurs. I warned him what was gonna happen. And then it did. And I think the Mavs might do the same thing tonight. It should be tight at the very least. And don't feel too bad for Curtis and all the other Spurs fans - they've got 4 titles the last 10 years -better than any franchise in pro sports over that time frame. And they also had Rodman. And the Ice Man. And that coyote mascot.
I was watching this movie on the HBO with the guy whose father was an anchorman in Lexington, Ky and the guy who plays Jim on the Office - and it wasn't too bad. Not as good as the other movies the guy whose father was an anchorman in Lexington, Ky has directed. The one movie about the game show host who was a CIA operative - that starred Sam Rockwell - that was damned impressive.
Space Age Love Song
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