The Champagne Couple

So, I'm sitting out at Henry Hudson Grille last night and I'm trying desperately to mind my own business -keep a low profile if you will. And that didn't work out too well. It never seems to. There was this couple to my left - probably early 50ish I'd guess. They were ordering champagne for some reason. And it was a Wednesday night in early May - I have no idea what the occasion could have been. I really don't. But, the thing about champagne is that you can't just order a glass or 2, you have to order a bottle (which makes sense from the restaurant's point of view, because what the hell are they gonna do with half a bottle of flat champagne?). Again, I'm just there to lay low. But then these champagne people start talking to me about the trivia questions being asked - and they are amazed I know certain ridiculously easy questions (like what singer had a bad surfing accident in 1992? or who directed Menace II Society?). So, this couple is so impressed (and quite frankly pretty drunk too) that they get the bartender to start pouring me some of the champagne and I protested a bit because I'm not a champagne fan at all, but I was nice for once, I had some. After about 4 glasses of this stuff (and I'm continuing to drink some lite beer as well at the same time) the guy part of the champagne couple moves down 2 bar stools and sits right next to me. And that made me a little uncomfortable. But I didn't scream at him or anything. And as the last trivia question of the night is asked, he leans over to me and says "You know, I'm so proud of my son. He canvassed for Obama in Pittsburgh last fall." And I said "Well, did you happen to catch the name of my trivia team for the night? It is a tribute to our awesome new president." He said "No, I haven't been paying attention. You're winning though right?" I said "Yeah, 3 points ahead." He said "What name did you use to honor and pay respect to the most important person in our nation's history, and maybe the history of the world?" And I said "Stuttering Retard." He got a little sore when I said that. He really did. At least he moved back over to where he was sitting before and this whole champagne couple ordeal was over. (I won the game at least. The last question was about the sequels to what book were titled Men Against the Sea and Pitcairn's Island - and even though I've never read a book in my life, that was way too easy. I can put 1 and 1 together. I am down with deductive reasoning.)

Speculation is booming about how quickly Brett Favre might sign with the Vikings. And I, for one, hope he does. Because when the Vikings play the Packers in Lambeau this fall and if Favre is the quarterback for Minnesota, that line will be Vikings by probably around a field goal or so - road favorites is my guess. And Vegas would do that to scare people off of betting Minnesota. But I would bet on the Vikings in that situation with that number - Big. Also, I was never a Favre fan (putting that movie with Ben Stiller and Cameron Diaz aside, he was goofy in that) but now he can come back and really irritate Green Bay fans, even though they spent millions and millions on his jerseys over the years. The whole thing is hilarious. If Favre can manage to turn all the Packer fans against him, the ones who worshiped him and made apologies for his atrocious playoff performances from 1998 on, then he has really accomplished something. Something impossible to fathom a mere 15 months ago. So, please Brett - come back!!! Please piss off all your die-hard apologists and make money for me by torching them one time in Lambeau. The best part is this: if Favre comes back and plays with the Vikings, by the time he's done ruining their playoff run, the only fan he'll have left is, yes, you guessed it - that loud, incoherent, fat ass, moron - John Madden. Everyone else will be left with a bad taste in their mouth - a taste similar to the one you experience after you've had several glasses of not so expensive champagne at Henry Hudson Grille on a Wednesday night in early May.

I was on the Faceshit again and they have this thing on there where you can "tag" people. And I don't know why they call it "tag," but whatever. And I was recently "tagged" on there and that was cool and all. But I have no idea what it means. I'm totally stumped. The problem might be that I'm not very bright. But I don't think so.

Pat sent me a text last night about hoops picks and I haven't been very diligent in sending out picks here the past week I guess. Pat had the over in the Celts/Magic game last night though. He won easily. So good for him. As far as tonight, the Cavs should cover again (although that's a big line at 12 &1/2).

Someone asked me what I ended up doing for Cinco De Mayo, and all the places I went into were lame. I don't know where everyone was - maybe Taco Bell??? I haven't gone into Taco Bell much since they got rid of the chilito. I used to get like 3 of those with sour cream at like 3:30 in the morning. And that's the best thing about Taco Bell -the fond memories of passing out with a half eaten chilito on your lap, waking up, being disgusted with yourself, trying to recall where you left your dignity the night before, worrying what psycho girl might have your number or worse know where you live, and then walking over to the microwave and reheating the rest of the chilito, eating it, smoking that last Marlboro in the pack, falling asleep again, then getting up at 3 or 4 in the afternoon and starting all over again. That's the good life right there.

I'm out- TBFH.