OINK!

I went down to the lobby about 10:30 this morning and grabbed a little breakfast. So, I got a plate of scrambled eggs with some bacon and sausage. Then I sat down and ate. And as I was finishing up the last piece of bacon, I had the urge to go back over to the bacon trough and get more. So, what I did was I walked back over to the bacon trough and got more. Then I sat back down and ate all that bacon. And I was headed back up to the room, but before I got too far I got this urge, this incredible urge, to eat more bacon. So, I went back over to the bacon trough and got even more bacon. Then I sat down again and ate that bacon too. And I've been feeling a little woozy here the last few hours. And I'm worried to death I got the pig flu now, because I have an urge to go back out for lunch and eat, you got it, some kind of bacon sandwich. This pig flu is really taking over my life now. I'll let you know if I start oinking while I'm writing this. OINK! Oops! There it goes. OINK! Oh boy, here we go. I'm - OINK! - oinking. Damn. Maybe I should lie - OINK! - down.

I stopped into the store with the Red Dot earlier. And I hate going in stores like that. Hate it. But, OINK! - I needed a few things. Specifically, vitamins, laundry detergent, and waters. That's it. So, I'm looking for the laundry aisle and this woman nearby has her phone go off, and her ringtone was, and I'm not making this - OINK! - up: Looks Like We Made it by Barry Manilow. And I started running in the other direction. That should be a criminal offense - using Barry Manilow as your ringtone. If anyone - OINK! - is curious I have used 3 songs as my ringtone over the years - Bulls On Parade, Senses Working Overtime, and It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine). Later, as I was finally - OINK! - checking out, I put my debit card in the machine the Red Dot store uses and the machine asked me if I wanted some cash back. And I needed a few bucks for tips today, so I punch in an amount, and then this machine - OINK! - asks me if I'd like to use a different card for the cash back. And I said to the clerk - "Does anyone ever pull a new card from their wallet and put the cash back amount on that card as opposed to the debit card they used to pay for their - OINK! - purchases?" And this check out clerk, or associate, as I'm sure the Red Dot store refers to her, says "What?" And I said "That sounds about right."

Pray - OINK! - for - OINK! - me. This pig flu is - OINK! OINK! OINK! -making me feel so - OINK....