Some woman who looks like an Hispanic bag lady has been put up for some position by Barack Hussein Obama - I believe her name is Solo My Ear. And I don't want to think too hard about the position old Barry has in mind for Solo My Ear (I hope it would involve putting a bag over her head at the very least), but perhaps it has something to do with old Barry's ceaseless assault on the Constitution. I did see where this bag lady looking fat ass spoke at both Duke and Cal Berkeley. And I found that pretty funny and somewhat ironic - because I have long noticed how insanely socialist the folks are in Durham (I have spent way too much time working in Durham), and that's exactly the kind of crowd that loves people like this bag lady looking Solo My Ear -people who hate this country even though they would never have had anywhere near the same opportunity at success if they were living in any other country on the face of the earth. Hypocrites. And I want to be clear about this Solo My Ear - she is ugly as sin. Seriously. I just google imaged her. And I jumped back 3 feet when the photos came up. I lost count of the number of her chins at a baker's dozen. I wouldn't mind a socialist Hispanic chick in this position if she looked like Selma Hayek. But this bag lady woman who gives speeches in Durham to fawning audiences is, to quote my good friend Paul J Whitehouse, a snake.
Well, lots of reaction to recent blog posts and I want to comment on a few of the comments (if that makes sense). First Jess - I saw her last night and she told me to go ahead and not beat around the bush (get it?) about how she is coping without a boyfriend here for the last few months. So, last week when I mentioned intimate details or whatever, what I should have said is that Jess is addicted to sex toys and keeps ordering them one after the other. She was telling me about something called a Starfish and I said to her "Did you name it Patrick?" Anyway, the cat's out of the bag now, so ask her how Patrick is treating her next time you run into her (although Jess is headed to Europe for a month so you won't have much time {oh, and yes, the band Europe does suck - The Final Countdown. Putrid.}). The other person I ran into who had a comment was one of the Jacobys. And the kid made an excellent point. I mocked them last week for playing trivia with the Greek Gods. And I was correct in mocking them for that. But, the Jacoby did point out to me that I played trivia with, as he so aptly put it, "the guy who looks like Frankenstein" for several months myself. And that's true. And the guy who plays devil's advocate and studies his notes is way worse than the 3 Greek Gods. The thing about the Jacobys is this - they are really good people who were raised the right way and have a strong moral compass, so they don't want to hurt the Greek Gods' feelings by telling them to go away. Nice kids. But those guys are so annoying. I don't know how they stand it. I really don't.
Speaking of trivia, a big quarterfinal playoff game broke out last night at the Turquoise Terrapin just after 8. And we won. No problem there. But it was interesting because Nana and her crew were out and the Greek Gods were also out with the Jacobys and Munson was out as well. And I'm happy to report that all the teams mentioned advanced to the semis. I did promise the Greek Gods something before the game. I promised that "we will drill you." And we did. I try very hard to keep promises. There was a team near us at the game and they seem like good kids - they call themselves Mayor Sheila Dixon. And the first time I heard that name last year at some point, I came up with a name that's an homage, if you will, to their name - and it is: Mayor Sheila Dixon's Trim (my guess is landing strip - but I could be way off on that). Also, Keith was running the game and one of his cohorts from Getting The Crabs was out (Gary) and Keith got a little drunk after the game over at Get Bent Lounge. And he started talking about the inner workings of Getting The Crabs and it was certainly enlightening. Andy and I both learned quite a bit from the conversation. They are an excellent team (best in the state) and we are merely a pretty good team and I think I've learned the difference now. If the information I gleaned from the conversation adds up, then I think we're gonna be in for more long nights when we're playing against Getting The Crabs. We'll see. I like my chances though. I know a few things. I always like my chances.
I saw some group on the Faceshit called Happy That George W Bush Is No Longer President. It reminded me of an anti-war rally that was held in Germany 5 or 6 years ago or something. There was a picture of 2 hideous lesbians sitting on a curb and one of them was holding up a sign that read - Lesbians Against Bush. And I laughed and laughed and laughed. Old W - making lesbians hate the one thing they get down with over everything else in life - bush. Probably in the case of these 2 German lesbians it was hairy, super-sweaty, foul odored bush, but nonetheless...
I was watching the Oxygen Channel over the weekend and they were running a marathon of episodes of a show with Tyra Banks. It has to do with girls trying to be models. It's pretty stupid but entertaining, and if you get a chance to see it on the next marathon they run, then I recommend it. The main reason being this guy that Tyra works with named Jay Alexander. That guy is flaming - on fire with flames. But, he's funny as hell and he mocks these potential models pretty hard at times. Also, the whole point of the show struck me as more of an excuse for Tyra to stroke her own ego, rather than finding the next Linda Evangelista or whoever. That woman is a tyrant - maybe they call her Tyra the Tyrant behind her back???
I was driving through Virginia in the middle of the night last week and flipping around the AM radio stations. And what I discovered is that lots of freaks who believe in UFO's and ET's walking amongst us are up in the middle of the night spewing pure idiocy all over the AM dial. It was slightly amusing though. Also, I picked up a station out of New York and these guys were calling in for hours bitching about the Mets. Who has nothing better to do around 3-5 am than call into a radio show and complain about how Jose Reyes is not a team player? These might be the same guys who support Solo My Ear for her big position during the day hours, but I doubt it. My guess is that Mets-obsessed men who are up all night worrying about Jerry Manuel would gladly slip the Hispanic looking bag lady the old high hard one. Those guys don't seem to be, let me put this delicately, oversexed if you will.
I was out last week one night at a place called The Nevermore Inn - it's not but a stone's throw from the Ramada and Boobie is in there running her typical Wed night trivia game (for some reason the Ramada tossed them out). And I was a bit in the bag (Graham made me and his girlfriend like 7 or 8 shots in a 1/2 hour earlier in the night). So, I sit down and they've got the show where they search for America's most competent karaoke singer on the big screen TV. And that irritated me to no end. I wanted anything else. Anyway, like I said, I was feeling it a bit and I guess I wasn't hiding my displeasure with the TV situation very well because one guy who plays on a team named The Box (seriously, they call themselves The Box) says to me "Why are you so loud?" And I responded "Because I'm at a bar to get away from this ridiculous show, not to watch it on the big screen." But old Boobie never would change the damn channel, no matter how obnoxious I got. So, the big moment comes and they announce who the next most competent karaoke winner is, and then things got funny. Boobie and the other losers in the bar were pissed at the outcome of the show. Pissed. And it was genuine anger - over a pathetic reality show result. I found this highly amusing and started to get louder and louder. The kid who lost the stupid thing is named Adam and I started screaming "Adam sucks." And it turns out I may have been more prescient with my chant than I knew at the time. Because I did a little research on this Adam and he is gay (which is cool with me, whatever) and it's likely he does enjoy sucking from time to time. And the other kid who won is a family man from Arkansas. And is it any wonder why the kid from Arkansas beat this flaming dude? I'm little surprised at Boobie's naivete. People call in to vote for the winner of this show, and they are gonna call in for a clean cut kid from Arkansas over an almost drag queen looking guy every day, aren't they? It stands to reason. I guess I was a little surprised that the Adam kid made it all the way to the last episode. Back a few months ago when I watched 2 or 3 episodes of the show, I don't remember the drag queen at all, so I have no idea if he's any good or what. But, I do know regular Americans, and even though lots of them are having the wool pulled over their eyes by Barack Hussein Obama right now, they still will choose a regular guy over a hyped up media creation who sports nail polish and smears make-up all over his face every day. Every day. And I'm not sure how Boobie and folks of her ilk can be stunned by this. As far as the trivia goes - I took off before the game ended - I had to get out of The Nevermore Inn - the women in there were criminally dirty and they all needed push up bras too. It was depressing as hell. I went over to the Ramada for a minute and there were 3 whores sitting at the bar just searching for any John to stumble into the place. I saw them and ran out - quickly.
Geilfuss was evidently downey ocean hon over the weekend. And from what I understand he ran into some 19 year old homeless girl (she was living in her dead mother's minivan or something) at some bar. So, Geilfuss is crashing with our friend Mike (Mike is a good kid - I like the guy a lot) and Mike's girlfriend is also staying the weekend (and Andy was there, of course...). Now, Geilfuss was given 2 instructions by Mike before he took this 19 year old homeless girl back to Mike's condo: 1) don't fuck the girl in Mike's bed and 2) she cannot stay overnight - back to the minivan for the homeless girl. Well, here is what we know and it says a lot about my man Geilfuss. A few hours later when Mike, his girlfriend, and Andy get back from the bar Geilfuss has succeeded in following one of the instructions - the girl is long gone, banished back to the minivan to be haunted by dreams of her dead mother and the memory of being driven to buy crack by her mother in that very same minivan. Well done Geilfuss. As far as the other instruction - when Mike and his girlfriend get ready for bed and pull back the sheets, what do they find in the bed? Answer - A used condom. Way to go there Geilfuss - the kid doesn't even have the presence of mind to hide the evidence that he didn't follow 1 of the 2 instructions. I don't know Mike's girlfriend well (I've only met her twice I think), but I believe she had Geilfuss sleep out on the back deck without his shoes on as punishment. If it was me, I would have driven him to whatever overpass or underpass this homeless 19 year old crack addict had parked her dead mother's minivan, tossed him out of the car, and said 2 words to him as I sped back to the condo: "Do work."
I just got one more email reminder about that 20 year reunion thing. I have not RSVP'd. And I don't see it happening. I really don't. And I'm blaming the Faceshit again. What happened is I got a friend suggestion from some girl I went to school with. And her friend suggestion is the girl I wrote about 3 weeks ago (titled The Night With The Smelly Waiter). And I haven't really responded to the friend suggestion or anything, but there was a recent picture of the girl who I went to the big silly event with 20 years ago on the friend suggestion thing. And I saw the picture and got even more depressed than I thought possible - because the girl who I went to the big silly event with 20 years ago - she looks..., well..., mind-numbingly good...
He's just an excitable boy.
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