Andy Heckles An Outfielder In A PG Rated Way

Remember, just when things look bleakest, it's important to remember this - things are gonna get worse. Way worse.

I was stumbling around outside Sliders last Friday night after the O's game (they finally lost when I was in attendance). It was about 10:30. And Geilfuss was standing next to me and he was lit. I don't know why he brought this up, but he said to me "You know how when you are at a laundromat trying to kill time?" I said "Yep." He said "A great idea would be to open a place that was half laundromat/half bar. Don't you think?" I told him "Yes. It is such a good idea that there have been places like that around for decades." Geilfuss said "Oh."

When we were inside the ballpark, Andy decided to heckle ____ ______(who was playing outfield for the Braves). Now, Andy kept his heckling at a PG level, as there was a young girl 2 rows down with her mother and grandmother or her mother and her mother's lesbian lover (believe me, I was tempted to ask which was the case). And so Andy is yelling things like "Your shoes are untied ________." And then Andy threw this one out, "Your mother doesn't love you ________." Now, there were 2 kids sitting behind us, and these dudes were hammered (this is like the 7th inning). And these guys were enjoying Andy's heckling and they were cursing up a blue streak about _______'s mother doing this and that and speculating on her sexual partners of choice. So, I kind of turned toward these dudes and casually said "I bet she fucked William Jefferson Blythe." And the 2 kids behind us are laughing or whatever. And the mother of the young girl turns around and she was not happy with me for using the word fuck. Now, what I did is calmly apologize that I had soiled her daughter's virgin ears and told her that I wasn't heckling or anything, I was just making a comment to these drunk dudes behind us. And then I asked her this "What was your expectation tonight? You come to an O's game on a Friday and there are over 30,000 folks here. About a third of them have been drinking heavily. And you know there's gonna be cursing in this environment. So, what's the shock here? You can't possibly be that naive." I don't really remember if she said anything to that. Then Andy started talking to her, which was a good decision on his part, because if I had kept talking to her it was highly likely I'd have told her something to get us thrown out. Which in retrospect might have been a good thing, because the O's stunk it up with men on base the whole game. Pitiful. Thank God for Natty Boh's.

Also Geilfuss was going on and on about a handwritten sign out front of Sliders that was promoting their specials for the evening. At the top it said 2 beers $5. Then below that it said 24 ounce Pabst Blue Ribbon $3. Then below that it said Natty Boh 2 for $4. Then below that it said hot dog 1$. And Geilfuss was very concerned about this sign. He wanted them to change it because he felt like the 3rd line contradicted the top line. Andy, Dan, and I spent like 10 minutes trying to get him to understand that all the sign was saying is that ALL beers EXCEPT 24 ounce PBR and Natty Boh's were 2 for $5. The sign was simply clarifying that there were some deals beyond the normal deal. And one of them was the extra special deal for Natty Boh's only. Geilfuss never could come around to seeing our point on that. Instead his idea was this - if he was bartending outside at one of these beer hut type things and someone ordered 2 Boh's, he would charge them $5 and pocket the extra buck every time. And it's at this point that someone pointed out that this train of thought could be why Geilfuss has been through hundreds of jobs in his life. I think he conceded that we had a point on that. The reason I think he conceded that we had a point is because he said "You make a good point there."

Lastly on this game experience, I am disappointed to report that Geilfuss did not wear the same homemade Wieters jersey as 2 weeks ago - the one that had devastated misspelled as devasted. What he did is remade the whole homemade jersey from scratch and he did spell devastated correctly this time. I didn't think it was as cool or nice as the homemade Wieters jersey that misspelled devastated as devasted, but that was just my opinion. On a brighter note, we were not hit on by any alien looking skanks from Frederick this time. So, that's something at least.

I spent pretty much all day Saturday and Sunday sitting around the hotel watching movies and sports. And there was one chick flick on TBS Saturday that I watched starring Cameron Diaz and that girl from Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead. And I wasn't too impressed with Cameron Diaz in this movie, but I found the girl from Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead to be very charming and appealing in this movie. She's an underrated actress. It's a shame that Hollywood types don't use her more often in movies.

They were showing the Juno on HBO later Saturday and it was the 3rd time I'd seen it. And I'm still struck by it, because old Juno is one of the only people I've ever seen who speaks in a similar manner to myself. It makes me think that I would get along pretty well with Diablo Cody. Her new movie is coming out in September. I don't think she got Jason Reitman to direct this one though. Oh, and the other thing about Juno is this - it makes me wish I had a dad like JK Simmons around when I was growing up.

Finally for today, I was looking at something where a guy was going on about the 2 realities. And I agreed with what he was getting at. It seems like what has happened lately is that people who disagree politically get their news and analysis from vastly different places. Places that only serve to reconfirm their beliefs (for folks on the right it is mainly the Roger Ailes Network and guys like the big glutton on radio, while for the left it is pretty much everything else). Anyway, what this seems to have led to (and it is only gonna get worse) is 2 realities. What I mean by that is that because the 2 sides come at the news from such drastically different slants, that means that folks can't even agree on the basic facts of what has gone down that day or that week. If you were to look at the Roger Ailes Network at 9 pm say and then the MSNBC at 10, you'd think there's no way the 2 stations are talking about the same planet, much less the same day. I flip by and it is really striking. And the outcome is that the opposing sides have absolutely no reference point to start from in even beginning to understand why anyone might disagree with their opinions on various issues/policies. And when we are no longer able to even see where the other side is coming from and simply fill our heads with information that confirms already strongly held beliefs, that is when you think people who disagree with you are wacko, unreasonable idiots. And that's not good. In my line of work, over 90% of the folks I come across are dyed in the wool liberals (they tend to be highly educated, raised on the east coast, and work for entities that rely heavily on taxpayer dollars). And I try very hard to never talk about politics at work (or religion or sports - all those will get you in trouble). But occasionally in a more social setting with folks from work someone will say something to me about this or that, and the assumption is that I'm the same cookie cutter thinking liberal as they are and virtually everyone else is. And on the occasions when I have shared with folks that I'm not a liberal and am basically a libertarian, a guy who, if I voted (remember I don't vote - voting is for suckers), would definitely vote Republican because the Libertarian Party is a farce (and come to think of it, the Republicans aren't far behind right now). When I've let that slip out, the shock and incredulity I encounter is really telling. It's telling because they honestly can't understand how someone they've worked with and gotten long with OK (and generally like in many{ok, some[ok, a few]} cases) and whose work they respect, could possibly ever consider voting for an evil Republican. And that's the best example I can come up with that shows the 2 realities. There is a total disconnect. Many of the folks I'm describing think I'm just kidding and pulling their legs. And I'm certain it's the same way on the other side. Because just recently some very reasonable and good people I know couldn't believe that I was pro-abortion. They said "Really? You're kidding right?" And this whole new dynamic where both sides fail to even consider what the other has to say, I don't think this is a good development. Unless people can agree to disagree and still hang out and get over political differences, then things aren't really headed in a good direction. They really aren't. Of course, I could be way off on this. But I don't think so. As much as I mock old Barry and all the other crackpot socialist liberals, I don't think they're necessarily evil people. Now, they likely wouldn't pay me the same courtesy, but that's because so many on the left (and some on the right too) are totally intolerant of dissent. The liberals were always saying during W's terms that dissent is the highest form of patriotism. Now, the folks that dissent from Barack Hussein Obama are evil crackpots getting in the way of "progress." Slightly ironic. Don't you think? The whole thing makes my head hurt.

And I'm phoning a cab

'Cause my stomach seems small

There's a taste in my mouth

And it's no taste at all