The Bartender That Inquires If Geilfuss Is My Son

Some dude named Guy Cimbalo put out a list of 10 women he'd like to, as he so tastefully put it, "hate-fuck." Now, the only problem is that a major magazine actually published this list (I believe it was Playboy). And I'm all for anything goes as far as free speech. And I don't have a problem with the guy writing it or Playboy publishing it. BUT, here's the thing - this Guy Cimbalo focused on 10 conservative women he'd like to "hate-fuck." And I wanted to make 2 points about this 1) if a publication had printed a list of 10 liberal women that some writer wanted to "hate-fuck," oh, wait...no publication would ever consider running such a list to begin with. Oops. 2) I don't know this Guy Cimbalo or anything about him, but I'm gonna guess this about him - he's threatened by attractive women who disagree with him politically, and he probably secretly wishes he could be with one of these women, and not to just brutalize her sexually. In fact, I would wager that he's never been with any women half as smart and half as attractive as any of the 10 women on his list. And no, I am not gonna make a list in response to this Guy Cimbalo list. To be honest I can't think of 10 liberal members of the media I find remotely attractive anyway - which supports my long held idea that most women who are really liberal, are butt ugly. Not ALL of them, but a vast majority at least.

The other thing I noticed was that David Letterman is in some hot water over some jokes he made about Sarah Palin and her 14 yr. old daughter. And as readers of this blog know, I come close to crossing the line into poor taste pretty often - but I do it on purpose. I think the thing that strikes me about this thing with Letterman is that he seems genuinely stunned anyone would find it offensive and call him on it. Letterman has really become that out of touch with a lot of folks over the last 8 or so years. I started watching him in 1982. I was an 11 year old insomniac. And back on his old show he was brilliant (I watched religiously). And even the first 5 years or so on his new show were pretty good. But somehow he became really off putting to many people's sensibilities at some point (my guess is it stems from his burning and totally irrational hatred of old W - once he let that become his focus, he lost about 1/2 of America). In fact people became so put off by Letterman that he was getting beat by a no talent hack like the guy with the anvil face almost every night for over 10 years. Anyway, this joke he made about Sarah Palin's 14 year old daughter being impregnated by ARod is what it is. And if say, Dennis Miller made a similar joke about one of the Obama girls (I have no idea what their names are - and no one should know their names, it's not their fault that so many people see their father as a messiah, you can't blame them) getting knocked up by ARod, I promise you he'd be banned from ever appearing on any media outlet ever again. The double standard is breathtaking as always. The other joke that he made about Sarah Palin looking like a "slutty flight attendant" is, I guess, maybe funny to some folks. It's certainly not offensive to me. I've said far worse about certain women. But it points out that Letterman has the same issues this Guy Cimbalo does when it comes to dealing with smart and attractive women, he probably doesn't do very well with them. Or then again, maybe some writer on his staff just wrote a silly joke and he read it off a cue card- hard to know for sure. But that joke about the 14 year old daughter - even I find that a little icky.

The surest sign that Barack Hussein Obama's stimulating packages deal isn't working is this - just as many bums, hobos, and derelicts are asking me for change as ever.

I was sitting out at Thank The Devil It's Sunday yesterday afternoon and a bartender asked me if Geilfuss was my son. I told her yes of course. I said he was conceived right around my 14th birthday (which would be accurate if I was the kid's father). The problem was that this bartender didn't seem to think I was kidding. Baffling. As anyone around these parts knows, if there was one kid who is most likely my son, it's not Geilfuss (I love the kid, but still...), it is of course, Ross. That kid. Jesus.

About an hour after the bartender asked me if Geilfuss was my son, a couple of black chicks sat down at the bar to my right. And I was chatting with them a little and at one point went out for a smoke. So, when I got back in the bar, one of these chicks (I think her name was Takia) told me she had slipped a roofie into my drink and she and her friend were gonna take me home and do despicable things to me (this the 2nd time in the last few months some girl has told me this at a bar - it happened at Henry Hudson Grille in the ATL). And I said to Takia and her friend "I got no problem with that - just promise me that there won't be any pictures on any websites afterwards." Takia said "You'd be down with a threesome with some sistas?" I said "Well, I might need the roofies to be honest." Then the conversation turned very graphic and I'm not gonna repeat exactly what was said. Let me just say we had an interesting conversation that covered, among other things - porn, sexual positions, and sticking your finger in a stripper's anus. For what it's worth, I did not take them up on the threesome offer. Believe me when I tell you that threesomes are not all they're cracked up to be (too much pressure on the guy and too many elbows flailing around for my taste). I did send out a text to some folks concerning the situation of being offered a threesome by 2 black chicks and I got this two word response back from Ross - Do Work.

Andy and I were out at Bar Pig Suey again for the trivia and we won this week. We somehow came up with answers out of our asses on several occasions. We got 2 of the 3 shot questions again (one was the number of concerts Elvis performed outside the US and the other was list as many of the top 20 grossing movies of last weekend as you can in 2 or 3 minutes {we only remembered like 11 of them [including Night At The Museum 2], but that was good enough}). It's not a bad place and the guys that run it are pretty decent at it. So, if anyone is looking to kill time on Thursday nights, I recommend it. Starts at 8. I'm not sure what the prize is. Andy handles all that stuff.

And for anyone who is curious, Pat hit a big bet (with my counsel) on the Lakers last night. I don't know if he gambled it away at online roulette today or not.

Oh, I did want to give a mention about Kinga and the triathlon. The race was last Saturday. And I'm very happy to report that she came in 24th out of over 460 women in the race. Awesome!!!

I'm gonna head over to the O's game here later and I have not heard a word from Geilfuss about if he'll be rocking the homemade Wieters jersey or not. But I for one, will be completely "devasted" if he doesn't.

Half angel

Half tart

I'm out - TBFH