Blogging From Scam's

Well, I'm back in the same bar again here in beautiful Greensboro. And I've had a few folks email me wondering what the hell bar I've been blogging and working from here the past several weeks and I should have mentioned it before - I'm sitting at Scam's in Brass Balls Field on Battleground (it has something to do with the Revolutionary War and my man Natty Greene). And my my main man Scuba is bartending today. And he is one of the best bartenders in the world. And the damn Led Zeppelin is on here again - and just let me say - Dancing Days are not here again - you fucking moron Jimmy Page.

By the way, if anyone is gonna be in the ATL tomorrow or Friday or over the weekend - and wants to hang out and have a drink and watch the hard hitting hoops action, I will be at a place called Taco Crap in the Perimeter Center. As always, I'm the easiest person in the world to hunt down - you can find me at the bar. Taco Crap is one of the best sports bars in the universe - they have like 75 TV's in there. All big flat screens. And lots of Atlanta skanks hang out in there - so that's something at least.

Also, we picked up right where we left off with the gambling last night. 3-0 on the night. And the picks were never in doubt. St. Mary's rolled, PSU/George Mason went way over - even without the overtime, and More Head State dominated - we bet that one strictly because of the name - obviously. Tonight the CBI starts and I love the CBI. I already sent out 3 bets for the old CBI. There is also a new tournament this year called College Insiders and all the teams in it are so bad, I have no idea how to bet the damn thing. By the way, Providence is angry and only laying 3 at home in the NIT - so that is the bet of the night. Even though I love Jack McClinton - he can flat ball.

Well, I guess a few people are waiting for my update on America's Most Competent Karaoke Singer. And they did country last night - and the guy who looks like a member of Al Qaeda sang the Willie Nelson & the awful judges praised him - but one of my favorite songs is The Pet Shop Boys version of that song - so I hated this Al Qaeda guy's performance. The whole thing is so silly and pointless. I gotta quit watching the thing. I really do. I feel cheap for even looking at it - like that intern with the blue Gap dress - the one stained with William Jefferson Blythe's ejaculate. You know, the big, gawky, Jewish chick with the horse mouth. Of course, that poor girl had a cigar in her vagina - and I guess when her poor boyfriend goes down her he probably mumbles to himself - "This tastes vaguely Cuban." Poor bastard.

I was watching a repeat of the greatest show in the history of television later last night. It was the episode where Jim finally asks Pam out on a date after years of not getting together. And I gotta admit, I get a little teary eyed myself when I see that one. I really do. Jenna Fischer. Jenna Fucking Fischer. And poor David Wallace - he has to have the hardest job in the world, managing a company like Dunder Mifflin. I can relate, believe me. If you would ever meet some of the people I've had to supervise over the years. Good God. It's a wonder I haven't killed myself. It really is. And I'm back to the ATL tomorrow for more. So, if you believe in prayer - say one for me. It can't hurt.

They are playing the Pete Townsend Band again in here and it sounds as good as ever. As I've said before - he is one bad bad motherfucker.

I was on the Faceshit again and looking at a photo album that Alley posted and in it were some pictures taken last summer at The Wreck Room. And I got a big kick out of them. We were all dead drunk. Andy, Patrick, and I were particularly dead drunk. And Andy was dancing - and he moves better than any big man since John Belushi. And that's the truth.

By the way, it's Andy's birthday tomorrow and I won't be in town (obviously). But, I did send the kid some books - I don't read myself, but Andy is a voracious reader. I sent him one book written by this Jewish dude - the book that has a chapter titled Whacking Off and I'm told it's one of the best books of the 20th century, So, I hope he enjoys it. Mary (Andy's sis) sent me a text that she had intercepted the UPS package and wrapped the books for me. So, thanks Mary - you are the best. The Order Of The Elephant - pure genius. When it comes to trivia questions involving royalty - no one can touch Mary. Not a soul.

I was in the Generic Bread again this morning and the damn Karl Childers dude was back in there - only this time he had some woman with him. And she resembled an escapee from a group home - totally despicable. And I couldn't resist walking over to the two of them and asking - "Does the state of North Carolina provide the two of you with birth control?" And the guy who resembles Karl Childers replied "No need boy, I only fuck her in the ass." And I said, as I walked away "That makes perfect sense. I heard that's Obama's policy regarding retards fucking . They gave you an instructional anal DVD starring Ron Jeremy and Nancy Pelosi. Right?" The guy who resembles Karl Childers didn't seem to disagree with me. So, I have to assume...

Geilfuss was evidently hitting on a girl with two kids last night. And I never heard how the night ended up - but I have to wonder - Did one of her kids find his shoes this morning after he snuck away in the dead of night? And - Did Creech pull up in his new RV, shoeless, and looking for sloppy seconds?

When I smile tell me some bad news, before I laugh and act like a fool. - TBFH