Thursday, March 26, 2009

Loretta The Naughty Nurse


Not too much time here today, so I'm gonna be brief. I don't ever wear briefs of course - that's disgusting - men wearing briefs. Boxers are the only option unless you want to shrink your scrotum and why would anyone but a sexual fetishy deviant (like John Edwards maybe- the politician, not that fake psychic - hell, on 2nd thought, probably both of them) want to do such a thing?


This is my 50th post and thanks to everyone who reads this silliness on a regular basis. It seems like more and more folks are reading it all the time for some reason. I have no idea why. I'll keep it going though. It passes the time.


I stumbled into that dive bar I was at last Friday about 11:30 last night and proceeded to put about 10 bucks in the jukebox and annoy everyone in there with about 20 Liz Phair songs in a row. Most of those horrible people in there were too drunk to notice it - but one of the bartenders did and he was pretty cool with it actually. So, these 2 women are down the bar a ways and I'm splitting a couple of pitchers with some guy also in town on business - I tend to make friends quickly in bars all over the world for some reason. Anyway, these ladies looked like they had both just come from a glamour shots photo shoot - very garish and fake looking. And they start waving over toward me and this dude JD - and I'm like "Dude, I'm not nearly drunk enough to do anything but mock them if we walk over there." And JD said "I'd enjoy listening to you mock them." I said "Alright, whatever." So, we went over to these women and I missed their names. So I just kept calling one of them Loretta (I am a fan of Get Back). And I think this Loretta said she was a nurse. So I was asking her about enemas for quite a few minutes and if guys ever get erections when she gives them sponge baths- typical questions that anyone who know me knows I would ask. I kept asking her how often she walks in on a male patient beating off - hourly, daily, weekly, what? And after about 20 minutes of peppering her with questions, this Loretta woman decides that I must really be into her and puts her hand on my butt and starts rubbing it. And then she whispers in my ear - "I could be your naughty nurse if you'd like." And I excused myself after about 45 seconds of this butt rubbing and sexy come-on talk by saying "I think I feel the runs coming on - gotta go." And I walked away pretty fast - there was some oomph in my gait. I am gonna owe old JD for a pitcher when I see him again.


I'm out - Go Nova!!!

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