Khaki Pants

The Royal Soak on Monday night is full of the kind of loose people that will decide to fuck at the drop of a hat. Or the drop of shoe. Or the drop of a bra strap...At one point, I noticed this woman in one of the booths is wearing khaki pants. So, I started calling her Khaki Pants. This guy to my left - Danny (I liked the guy, he was pretty entertaining, although awful at trivia) -he was interested in Khaki Pants, and she wasn't totally undoable -a solid B (she slightly favored Penelope Cruz). I was speculating on her favored choice of trim presentation for quite a while and Danny found that pretty amusing. We were disagreeing about it though. Danny was going with completely raw and I was pretty certain Khaki Pants sported the landing strip. I offered to go over and ask her, just to settle the dispute with Danny. But I didn't need to, because Khaki Pants walked over to the bar and started talking to Danny herself. And inevitably Danny (he was quite gregarious) introduced Khaki Pants to me. And then I said "I've been admiring your khaki pants for about 45 minutes now." She laughed and said "Is that it - just my pants?" I said "Actually, no. Danny and I have spent about 15 minutes debating what the situation is with your trim presentation." And Danny was falling over laughing. And Khaki Pants said "Who wants to follow me into the ladies room and find out?" And then one of us did. If you're curious, it was discovered that I was right about the landing strip. I'm gonna have to get with Danny again while I'm in town. As far as the trivia went - awful - I forgot the name of the dude on Charlie's Angels, I put Bentley instead of Bosley. Embarrassing.

Later I was out at the Taco Crap and watching my man Mike Conley Jr. in the Grizzlies/Warriors game. And there is a guy for the Warriors named Anthony Randolph and I'm telling you this - he will be a superstar. He's going to be unbelievable. I don't think he's even 20 yet. Anyway, Memphis won the game. But I'm sitting there next to a chubby couple and the guy was drinking MGD 64 and I was tempted to ask "Is that really gonna make a difference?" But they looked like they were in love or something silly like that and I didn't want to ruin their night. By the way, I have tried exactly one MGD 64 and it will be the only one I ever try. It was putrid - it tasted like something from a stream near Chernobyl. Probably similar to the taste the chubby guy next to me at the bar experiences when he has the great misfortune of going down on his chubby girlfriend.

I did notice at the Royal Soak that women's basketball was on and it was on all the TVs in there and before old Danny showed up, I looked at some of the first half of this game between The Lady Terrapins of College Park and The Lady Cardinals of Louisville. And, damn they sucked. And these were 2 of the top teams in the country??? Turnovers, horrible shooting technique (they were generally heaving the ball toward the rim), missed free throws, balls clanging off the iron and falling harmlessly to the floor as they were just out of the grasp of these girls who can't jump very well - it was awful. And the dude who coached The Lady Cardinals - he looked like a sicko drill instructor. At least the lady coaching The Lady Terrapins was dressed professionally. I have no idea who won the game. And apparently no one else did - the stands were empty. Most of the camera angles showed nobody in the arena. And I have been to the arena where this "game" went down (in fact I saw the guy who wrote Get Back there once). And the concessionaires had to be pissed - I bet they took a bath on the whole affair. I do wish they would televise more girl's field hockey, because I've always been pretty fond of those skirts.

I did see where Barack Hussein Obama is going to Europe for a summit of some sort - I have no idea what the point of it is. But maybe old Barry can hook up with some Eurosluts over there - get a little "strange", as my friend Brad Myers used to say.

In Between Days.