Passing The Time On A School Bus

I was out at the place on W Market Saturday afternoon and was sitting there minding my own business when some guy comes in wearing a sleeveless t-shirt. And the bartender comes over and says to this guy "We have a rule here about no sleeveless shirts." The thing was that the bartender was wearing a sleeveless shirt herself - to accentuate her almost otherworldly tits no doubt. So, I said to the guy with the sleeveless t-shirt, "Ironic, huh?" He said "What's irony?" I said "Well, the fact you don't know what irony is, that is irony." He got up and left.

Also, there was some baseball game on Saturday afternoon and I noticed that Felipe Alou looks like Yoda. I was wishing Sammy Sosa was playing on the Dominican team, because he slightly resembles Mace Windu. Of course Big Papi was there and he resembles Jabba. So,...

I was watching this thing last night called Celebrity Apprentice and you HAVE to watch it. Dennis Rodman is on there and I'm not sure how many weeks he'll survive, but as long as he does - you HAVE to watch. Remember that Rodman won the 2nd season of Celebrity Mole and that was perhaps the most amazing accomplishment in the history of western civilization. It was incredible. Dennis Rodman might be the greatest person to ever walk the face of the earth. Dennis Fucking Rodman.

I was also out Saturday hanging with my buddy Brandon and he was telling me what a buddy of his who is in pizza management is up to these days. And it reminded me of a story from a few years ago - this pizza management guy got in deep to a bookie on some bad NFL bets and didn't have the dough to pay (I don't recommend that by the way). So, this guy was managing a Papa John's at the time and he was trying to get the bookie to take free pizza vouchers as payment towards his gambling debt. I'm dead serious. Poor kid.

One of the best things to do if you're ever on a school bus and bored is this- when you see a fairly homely looking girl walking along the sidewalk, put down the window and say pretty loudly in the girl's direction "Wow, you're hot!!!" And then she'll do one of two things - either turn toward you and point at herself as if to say "Me?" or she'll just say "Thanks." In either case say "No, not you." It's pretty funny.

One other way to pass the time on a school bus is to play truth or dare. You'd be surprised how eager many girls are to flash their breasts on a dare. You really would - at least I always was back in middle school.

I saw this magazine in the checkout lane at the grocery store and the cover claimed that Barack Hussein Obama was gay. And I wondered - "Pitcher or Catcher?"

It's a jungle

I'm a freak

Here me talk

But never speak

TBFH