Last Friday I was at the Bananabee's sitting at the bar trying to watch the last half of the Dayton/WVU game (I had an interest in the Flyers covering +9 and they won outright) and there was only one seat available. So, I went ahead and sat down - against my better judgment. To my right was a retarded dude playing with some kind of MP3 thing and kind of singing to himself and to my left was a fat chick (Beck-worthy for sure) drinking a High Life. So, the bartender comes over and asks me what I need and I said "Narcotics." Then this fatty orders dessert and I have no idea how some kind of frozen cherry/chocolate concoction tastes with High Life, but she ate it fast - really fast. She got up to leave after another 15 minutes or so of finishing up her champagne of beers and said "Have a great night." And I said "Did I interrupt your plan for the evening when I sat down here?" She said "No. Why?" And I said "Well, I figured you might be trying to pick up the retard to my right. Who else would possibly fuck you? And if I ruined your plan for a night of continuous retard fucking and binge eating, I just want to apologize for it. I'm that kind of guy." She didn't seem too thankful for my well intended and, I think classy, apology. So, she said "Go fuck yourself." And as she headed to the door I yelled "You ever hang out at the Charred Pork Bucket with Dave and Dick?"
Later Friday I was at The Taco Crap and had some time to kill between tip times and was chatting up some girl who kept talking about Irish Car Bombs - she was in Atlanta from Utica, NY or somewhere. So, this girl wasn't so attractive or anything, but ok. And she kept saying "Let's do Irish Car Bombs." So, I kept saying "Sure. Line them up." Only she put off ordering them and like an hour or so goes by and I'm watching the hoops and screaming repeatedly "C'mon, More Head!!!"And I had lots of people laughing and several Louisville fans annoyed with me. Then I said to the girl who kept talking about Irish Car Bombs "Don't you think that More Head should make their mascot the swallow?" She spit her beer out all over the bar. And I felt a little bad for her - she wasn't ladylike at all. So, she said "Are you gonna buy me an Irish Car Bomb now?' And I said "You were waiting for me to buy them?" She said "Yeah, what did you think?" I said "Well, to be frank, it didn't cross my mind to buy you one." She said "I kept hinting at it." And I replied "I have zero interest in leaving here with you, so I'm not buying you a shot." She said "Why not, you keep saying all these funny things to me." And I said "Well, when you repeatedly said Irish Car Bombs - I found that redundant and stupid - just say Car Bombs for god's sake." Then I paid my tab and left. Stupid girls from Utica, NY.
Even later Friday, I was at some total dive to watch the last round of games - and god bless Cleveland State and Bob Morris by the way. And this place is great - everyone in there is dead drunk and angry at life. So ,this woman comes right up to me after I sit down and asks "Are you sitting on my coat?" And even I have no response to that. So, this big-chested bartender overhears this woman and says "You were looking for it earlier and discovered it was in your car." And boy was I fan of this bartender - she saved me there. And the woman looking for her coat was hammered and sat back down and some really weird country sounding guy wandered over to her and tried to pick her up - the idiot. I was having a blast only 2 minutes after coming through the door. Then some really drunk dude comes up and asks me if I'm there to pull for the Badgers. And I wasn't. So, I said "Who or what are the Badgers?" He seemed slightly perplexed at my query. And said "Wisconsin." I said "Who or what is Wisconsin?" He looked even more perplexed - almost baffled. I will fuck with guys when they are dead drunk like that- although it can get dangerous at times - just to warn you. So, this Badger fan guy says "You don't know what Wisconsin is?" "No, should I feel stupid because I don't?" "I'm not saying that you're stupid." And then I said "Well, you must be from Wisconsin then, because you won't even get offended when you get mocked at a bar by some asshole like me. You should have called me a fucking liar or dumbass or lying dumbass." He said "I'm fucking going back to my table." I said "Suit yourself there Bucky." And then the Badgers proceeded to come from way back and beat the Noles - but the guy was too drunk to enjoy it - he was shit-faced.
Saturday was a bit of a catastrophe - the Terps really let me down. Anyway, Purdue and Texas came through so the catastrophe was mitigated a bit at least. I was out again at The Taco Crap and some dude was there drinking some beer called Delirium Nocturnum I think. And he said it was good, so I ordered a couple and didn't find out til the bill came later that they were like $11 a bottle. Lesson learned there I guess. Dude should have warned me - I'd have been better off buying a Car Bomb for that chick from Utica, NY. Well, maybe not...
I did watch the Celebrity Apprentice and Rodman did survive again, but the thing lasted 2 hours and it was ridiculous. Melissa Rivers looks scary though - nasty scary. I will probably look in on it again next week, but for god's sake I hope they shorten it to an hour - too much Trump and his supposed offspring for my taste. Although Ivanka isn't too untappable - in a way - if you could gag her and keep her quiet. And I don't get freaky like that, so...Alas...
I did see where Barack Hussein Obama is starting to get ripped by many of his most ardent supporters - Paul Krugman and Frank Rich being two of them (not that I really know anything about either guy - I just hear things from time to time when sitting around in dive bars listening to horribly drunk morons debate the merits of Keynesian theory). And then I heard that his latest proposal is simply some retread idea that some of old W's lackeys came up with - and I would give old Barry credit for this, except I worry that it might have something to do with making things worse on purpose so he can enact more authoritarian measures on the country under the guise of "an emergency" or something. But I really hope I'm wrong in even having that thought. I hope he doesn't turn all Stalin on us. I really do. I hope he keeps doing what old W was doing in many cases - because even though I disagreed with lots and lots of it - at least I never worried that old W was gonna turn our country into a Soviet style state circa 1933 (that was some awesome alliteration there on my part, if I might say so my own damn self). Anyway, old Barry won the election and he can do whatever he wants for now. So I don't really have any argument with him doing whatever - just that I hope all this stuff is not a complete catastrophe - because it might be. But I sure hope not. I really care about the kids and this country's future and I 'd like to leave a better place for them. I really believe that (Did any of that sound remotely believable?...ok...I didn't think so). Fuck the future. And my motto is - every child left behind. I am a terrible person - an awful excuse for a human being.
Sunday was an awesome day. We were on fire with the hoops bets. On Fire! 5-o. And I was just in the mood so I sent out a bonus bet on USC and they didn't cover by 1 lousy point. But, still: 5-1 after that - and that will play. I know Andy hit a 4 teamer at 10-1 at one point. Gambling - it's stupid.
I saw the show on HBO with the guy who used to host Politically Incorrect and he had the guy who used to work with the En Fuego guy, steals from Edward R. Murrow, and has been fired countless times on there as a guest or something. And these two were really something - they started talking about Cornell for like 5 minutes and some radical stuff that went down there and I'm thinking - aren't you two about 10 years too young for the really radical stuff that went down? Then these guys started ripping on other members of the media. As I've noted before on this blog - that's what all the W haters have been reduced to now - player hating on the Roger Ailes Network basically. I don't know if the dudes are jealous of the Roger Ailes Network's success or what. But the whole "interview" that the guy who used to host Politically Incorrect did with the guy who used to work with the En Fuego guy, steals from Edward R. Murrow, and has been fired countless times was pretty silly - I kept waiting for the Politically Incorrect guy to ask the guy who used to work with the En Fuego guy, steals from Edward R. Murrow, and has been fired countless times if he would be into a little caress or perhaps a peck on the neck or possibly the high the hard one or maybe a taste of Mrs. Barack Hussien Obama's sweet homemade juices he keeps in a jar in his pants - who knows? The guy from Politically Incorrect used to be watchable too - his old show was pretty damn entertaining most nights - but that was way over 10 years ago now. I don't know what happened to the guy - but he got boring and predictable, and yes, worst of all, he became completely politically correct.
1,2
1,2,3,4 - TBFH
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